Eyes of Emerald

Well'p... the time has come to completely revise the idea behind "Christmas on Mars." Since completing my murder-story novel, I've felt a yearning for a simpler story, with considerably less characters and less chaos to keep up with than the novel-in-progress, Doomsday by Design. Doomsday has over five hundred pages in it now, and honestly, I need a break from it.

So, the scifi-romance will be my side project, a distraction and vacation from the bigger ones. If you don't remember, COM was originally about a bullied girl, an eccentric green dude with powers, and a terrorist reptilian organization hellbent on overthrowing humanity. Many elements of this story have changed (like, for example, it doesn't take place on Mars anymore), but the core idea remains the same. And don't worry - you won't be overloaded right from the gate. I literally just started writing this, so I don't have much to share yet.

If you like the premise, please leave me some feedback and let me know that you're interested in the story. If it looks like no one's interested, I'll simply stop updating and stick to writing solo. God willing, I might get writer's status from this; the contests don't seem to be very frequent anymore.

The real and revised version is called Eyes of Emerald. Here we go.

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Chapter 1 - Evony

As of now, the reptilians and the super-powered green man were the last things on her mind.

Evony hadn’t heard the ridiculous rumors about the green man yet, and the reptilians seemed to be a far away threat, nothing she needed to concern herself with now—even though they were responsible for wiping out most of her hometown up north. The city of Starrylake was a wonderful place; the city glowed at night, shining a number of fluorescent neon colors, the streets bristling with life, and during the day, everyone shuffled about, off to school or work, or off to play hooky on the beach and swim until the day came to an end—up until the latest bombing, that is. The reptilian extremists seemed to be serious about taking their home planet back, one devastating attack at a time.

After Evony and her father were forced to move—due to their apartment being reduced to a pile of rubble in the attack—everything changed. She didn’t see the bright lights and the nightlife of Starrylake in her mind anymore; the only thing on her mind was the pitiful situation that she and her father had landed in, forced to travel with refugees and hitch rides all the way down south. Thankfully, Evony’s father had been saving to buy a new home before the crisis—but as fate would have it, the home he purchased was nowhere near Starrylake, and nothing like it. She didn’t understand why her father bothered to buy a home so far away; the southern side of West Concordia wasn’t anything like the north. The north was famous for its beautiful seasons, heat in the summer, leaves in fall, snow in winter—but the south was another story. The southern region of West Concordia was always doused in snow, with no season changes, no heat in the summer, and no way to lounge on a beach in a bathing suit. They would be drudging through snow all year round, surrounded by ice and constantly trying to stay warm. And, her father spent every cent he had on this house—which meant they probably wouldn’t even be able to afford something as trivial as a space heater.

The truck hit a bump in the road, making Evony’s heart jump. She and her father were sitting in the back of a rather large cargo truck, along with about ten other refugees who were all on their way to their new homes. Her father patted her on the leg.

“We’re fine,” he said. “I already have a job lined up.”

Evony turned to him, wearing an investigative visage, her silver eyes narrowing at him. “You’re not doing labor again, are you?”

Her father shrugged and looked away dismissively.

Evony sighed. “You’re not supposed to do that anymore. Your leg, and your blood pressure—”

“It’s what I’m qualified to do, all right?” he responded.

Evony stared at him, feeling a pinch of guilt. Her father continued to avoid her eyes, intertwining his fingers and resting his hands on his pudgy stomach.

“I’ll get a job,” Evony offered. “You don’t have to do that anymore.”

Her father laughed. “Please—I’m half Latino, which means you’re only a fourth. You don’t have half the work ethic I do.”

“Stop being racist, Dad.”

“What? It’s true, is it not? I can’t make fun of myself?”

Evony smirked and shook her head. Her father was always the funny guy, no matter where he was or who was around him, though his humor was a bit touchy.

“It’s not really labor, anyway,” he added. “I’m looking for a job like that—it pays a little bit better—but right now, I’m gonna be stuck cleaning motels.”

Evony nodded, staring at her feet and trying not to think about Starrylake anymore. Still, it was hard to ignore what had happened; her father once had a decent enough job, and he made money on the side with all his less-than-reputable friends. But now, all of that was gone—their home, their shopping malls and restaurants, the beautiful beaches—it was all gone forever. Now, they were stuck with only what they could carry on their backs, forced to uproot and start a new life in a strange place.

“What is this town called, again?” Evony asked.

“Silverhollow,” he answered. “It’s a small town… pretty much out in the middle of nowhere. They get important guests to the Silver Lodge, I’ve heard… but other than that, they don’t really have any attractions.”

Evony frowned. She ran a hand over her left cheek, prodding at the scar underneath her dangling black bangs, the one she did so well to hide. It wasn’t as if she had any friends in Starrylake, but she felt safer there than anywhere else in the world. To have it all ripped away… it simply wasn’t fair.

The truck suddenly slowed to a stop.

“Carlos,” someone yelled from the passenger seat up front. “You and Evony get off here.”

Evony and her father, Carlos, collected their bags and stepped out of the back of the truck. When they hit the ground, their feet were engulfed in a blanket of snow.

“Good luck!” the driver yelled as one of the refugees pulled the doors shut. Seconds later, the truck drove away, further down the one-lane street until it was out of sight.

Evony spun around, absorbing the environment and shivering. Everything was white as far as the eye could see; all the trees harbored few leaves, and just down the street was a small town. At the entrance was an old, rickety sign displaying the town’s name, and the heart of the town contained perhaps three stores, a motel, and a single restaurant. Surrounding the town were houses, all of them spaced far apart from each other, and across the town, the Silver Lodge sat on the top of the hill, easily the largest and most impressive of all the buildings in Silverhollow.

“It’s so small,” Evony remarked. “And it’s freezing…”

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To be continued next post

Sounds like a pretty decent story from what I read so far.

Oh, I loved it. Very interesting-more, please.

Well... I really should've thought this through.

I promise to update this as soon as I add onto the story, but I posted Chapter 1 of Doomsday by Design here on ATS, since I have almost six hundred pages of that completed, and only two pages of EOE written. DBD is much more developed, and I have much more of it to share than EOE.

If you like conspiracies, adventure stories, and deep themes, you'll like Doomsday by Design. < Click that link and read chapter one, if ya like. If any of you show interest, I'll update it weekly, adding a chapter each week. If you enjoy it, please leave me feedback and let me know, otherwise I probably won't update xD

Ta-ta~!