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Mueller charges 13 Russian nationals, formerly known as Trump fans, and 63 million Americans, for meddling in US elections by voting for the wrong candidate.
The Justice Department announced the indictment of 13 "Russian nationals," aka Trump fans who've been observed consuming Russian dressing, for meddling in the 2016 presidential election. Intelligence estimates show there are tens of millions of Trump fans associated with Russian aims to get Donald Trump elected. Some of these people speak Russian, and other soon-to-be-extinct white men and women still insist on voting. DOJ refers to Trump voters henceforth as Russian nationals, spies, intelligence agents, colluders, and just plain evil. They helped this illegitimate president win by unjustly going to the polls.
“Defendant's operations included supporting the presidential campaign for then-candidate Donald J. Trump and disparaging Hillary Clinton,” according to the indictment.
Mr. Mueller added that up to 63 million Americans who disparaged Hillary Clinton by voting wrongly can expect a fate the same as the Russians, er, white males, and will get deported back to Moscow where they belong. Mr. Mueller did not rule out capital punishment. The assembled reporters wearing Hillary 08 lapel pins rose in unison, stamped their feet and cheered, as MSNBC's Chris Matthews vibrated in the front row as he was having thrills run up his legs.
The indictment stated that these foreign agents, aka, white men and women wearing MAGA hats, wrote anti-Hillary diatribes in the reader's comments in the nation's conservative journals and on the GOP website. To add insult to injury, they not only refused to watch the Fareed show on CNN, but congregated among other like-minded "Russians" at Tea Party events to freely spread vile, poisonous, unnatural and treasonous ideas right out of the US Constitution, Thos Paine's Common Sense, Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, the Bible, and the Federalist.
Justice said the individuals were given more than 1 ruble to be split among themselves by a Russian who is a close ally of President Vladimir Putin, or Sasha Baron Cohen, or Jackie Mason - take your pick - to fund the anti-Clinton campaign.