originally posted by: TinySickTears
i guess you did not read the part about how we took months together just talking. we know everything about each other. she knows and knew all about my
bull# and how i am long before we became serious.
i know my wife. i know how she feels....
no one should ever claim they just KNOW how someone else feels, it doesn't matter if you've been in a decades old relationship with someone and
communicate your feelings daily, you will STILL end up ignorant of their feelings without continued communication, you cannot predict how someone
feels all the time, that is foolish, or delusional. and you are only saying it to convince yourself you dont need to ask her, or you wouldnt say it,
you would just ask her, the fact you choose instead to defend the idea of not asking her, is very telling...
.... but thanks for continuing to be some internet armchair shrink that thinks you have me and my wife figured out based on a couple posts
about me liking my # locked up.
hahaha thats funny you think thats my position, cause it isnt, you are only deluding yourself into thinking thats my position purely to maker it
easier to disregard my points, which i will reiterate.
refusing to allow your wife to open a window in the daytime because of an irrational fear is unhealthy.
assuming you know her feelings on the matter without asking is also unhealthy, for both of you. and having given her a single chance to speak out once
long ago doesnt count.
if youve not been through something like this then you cant possible know how it can make you feel...
just cause you went through something terrible doesnt mean those around you havnt also experienced terrible things, you are not unique in having had a
terrible experience, everyone in my family has had a similar experience to this one myself included, some far worse, but they are not regular
occurrences they are rare and when they happen they become stories that tell alot about your character, this one has told alot about yours.
i will say that what happened to my parents and me when i was six is never #ing happening again. promise you that
illustrates that your behavior keeping windows locked in broad daylight is you trying to keep control over every moment because of the fear that that
one day way back when you had no control, you believe by locking the windows in the day you are in control, that is why you do it,
but as i said its an illusion, you are never in control, you only think you are some of the time. if someone really wanted in your house a locked
window wouldnt stop them, and guaranteed there are moments in your day to day life you are vulnerable, so is everyone in your family, those moments
occur day to day for everyone, it is unavoidable, security is always an illusion for that reason. truely coming to terms with what happens means
accepting your vulnerability, accepting you dont have security, accepting that those things can and do happen, but you are still fighting that, you
will always just be fighting that demon to want to control your environment, and its not a fight anyone can ever win.
thanks again for posting and feel free to continue but im not going to respond to your bull# anymore. you think youre right but your not. maybe
youre trying to help. maybe youre being a dick. not sure which but i said in the beginning of this thread what i assume about people.
i dont give a # if you ignore me, just dont ignore your wife, speak to her, actually #ing ask her how she feels about you keeping the windows locked
in the daytime,
honestly ask her about the things you do that you know might bother her, ask her to be honest with you and tell you if any of it bothers her, if you
cant even bring yourself to do that then just what is it you fear? her answer...
edit on 6-2-2018 by NobodiesNormal because: (no reason given)
edit on 6-2-2018 by NobodiesNormal because: (no reason