a reply to: TinySickTears
I suspect your boss has some type of disorder or mental illness. It's almost like compulsive talking/behavior, with anger issues. He has no clue about
boundaries. He also doesn't respect your personal space. These may be things to do some research on.
Things that come to mind are adhd (never diagnosed and he's out of control because he really is out of control), narcissist behaviour and being a
Don't know if it will help but this is what I would recommend:
- put up a sign on your office door that says, "on lunch, do not disturb". Nothing wrong with that and most people would envy you having that mental
disconnection from work. And you do - you need that mental break. If anyone questions it you can say you are making personal calls to your family,
doctor, working on a personal project, taking a nap (lie and say you have insomnia).
- if you have someone that you know that has had mental illness/adhd use them as an example and somehow bring it up and your boss may see similarities
in his own life and seek help.
- he sounds lonely and unheard. Many lonely people ramble on because they just want recognition/are so desperately lonely/are compulsive talkers/don't
know how to deal with silence
- tell him you can't handle the toilet talk, that you have a weak stomach (if you need to lie). I don't believe lying is the very best solution, but
sometimes it has to be done for your own mental sanity
- he has impulse control issues - has no idea how to regulate himself. He just has no idea. It's not your job to teach him but again, if it gives you
some sanity and allows you to keep your job then again maybe make up a story about someone and how they totally changed their life, etc.
- religion: you just don't want to talk about it.
You have the right to set boundaries at your work life. I would try these tricks/do research on some of what I've outlined and it may help you cope or
solve what is happening. You can never control another person, but you can find ways to understand that other person and sometimes with understanding
you are suddenly able to let such behaviour slide by. It would be a shame to leave a job you enjoy and are making a good wage at.
You might tell your boss that you would love to spend quality time with him during your breaks (allow him personal time - I think he admires you and
has glued himself to you) and tell him you simply need to concentrate and so need to be able to do your best without distractions. Perhaps a radio?