It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Is marriage the last legal form of slavery?

page: 4
6
<< 1  2  3    5 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 10:29 AM
link   
It's pretty common that women openly say to their man that they won't have any children until they get married - that is because they know that there is a less likely that the man leaves her with the children if they are married - it's as simple as that. I feel that many people are not honest, marriage is all about love according to you - it's a way of enslaving people into bondage as far as I can see.

-MM
edit on 20-1-2018 by MerkabaMeditation because: (no reason given)




posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 10:36 AM
link   
a reply to: ketsuko

If you look around, do your family and friends have a similar 'equalized' relationships?

From my experience what you have is rare, very rare.

I am probably completely biased. I am scared #*(@*$$ of entering another relationship. I have tried many many times and they have all ended the same way. I even made the ultimate sacrifice after being told I have relationship phobia and got married. Now I will be in financial servitude for a while. Oh well, at least I finally learned.

I admit that it is very probable the failures are completely my fault. I accept that. But there are a few correlations out there that I see time and time again. That I have experienced time and time again.

Meet up with girl. Become established and mutual. Then have your friends slowly removed from your life where her friends are completely acceptable. Have your time monopolized where they are still free to do whatever they want with or without you and if questioned, you become a controlling jerk who just doesn't understand. It is no longer about you and her, it is about 'us'. This chain becomes more solidified once the ring goes on. Then they have the full pressure of the courts behind their suggestions.

There very well could be unicorns out there, I just haven't experienced them. Looking around at my coworkers and friends, they haven't found a unicorn either.

Men are the romantics. Women are the realists.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 10:49 AM
link   
Never done it but have all kinds of opinions on it.

My wife isn't a slave and neither am I.

Don't wanna get married? Leave it at that.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 10:54 AM
link   

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation
a reply to: Hecate666

Why can't you live with your soul mate without being married?

-MM


We didn't plan it at the start, for the same old reasons you probably give yourself. But as I said, once you found the one, going through a ceremony and have everyone there is a ritual that makes it even more special than not going through it. Having it on paper feels good when it is right, humans like things like that, it makes it official to others too. May not be necessary but it does feel right. You personally don't have to but your girlfriend might like to, especially if it makes her so much more special that you 'd be willing to marry her and nobody else.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 10:56 AM
link   
a reply to: MerkabaMeditation


You have the wrong idea.
You have said multiple times that people can live together and be happy.
That of course is true and the key is for both people to have the same goals.
If two people get together and have marriage as a goal, they need the marriage to be happy.
If neither care about marriage then they can be happy just being together.
Neither viewpoint is wrong.

I for one have great satisfaction in having a wife of 23 years.
You don't care about that and it's fine, but that doesn't make me wrong.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 11:05 AM
link   
a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

I kinda sorta understand what you mean... although I wouldn't use the word slavery. Not sure what word I'd use. Maybe investment? As in we give up a little bit as we go along, but we gain so much more throughout the process.

But you're right in that once you marry (much like once you have kids) your life isn't just yours any more. You do have to think of others and make decisions with the best interests of others in mind as well. Not instead, but also. And yes, those decisions will often be different than the ones we'd make if we just had ourselves to think about. Marriage (and parenting) is a constant balancing act.

And for what it's worth, I say this as an old very happily married woman! And maybe that's why. I love my husband and our family and our life we've built together... but if I ever find myself single again, I'm staying that way!!! I've done wife (and Mom) to the best of my ability and reaped the rewards. If the time comes, I'll do single the best I can too. (Somehow I don't think romance will play much part in my single life though! Too many other rainbows to chase...)



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 11:31 AM
link   

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation
I feel that marriage is the last legal form of slavery... I would like to know what you guys & gals think. Thanks.



Marriage is a relic from the past.

It had more to do with protecting the woman, than about telling someone what to do.

Old societies considered a woman "lost something valuable" when she lost her virginity.

So, allowing men to have their way with a woman, then move on to other pastures, was considered bad and unfair to the females.

The men generally did the hard work, farming or hunting or trades, that enabled the family to be fed, so the woman needed to be bonded to a man to get to "eat" too. Also, women could not "own property", and couldn't vote, or do all the things the men were entitled to do.

So, the arrangement of marriage allowed the woman to "trade" her body to the man, for his pleasure, for the "comforts and security" in return. She generally did the "house work", cooking, cleaning, and sowing clothes. And marriage also kept the man around to look after the kids.

It was a good structure for the old time societies.

In modern times, it's hard to see the benefits of marriage, because all the old "reasons" have disappeared.

Today, people have sex readily, and don't care much about "virginity".

Women work, and don't need a man for "comforts and security."

Everyone has less kids, some couples have none, and when they have it's typically just one kid.

And the kids don't listen to their parents, don't respect them, and teens do their own thing anyway.

Marriage is practically meaningless today. Even gays and lesbians can get married. Whatever it means to them, is a complete mystery. In some parts of the world a man can take many wives. King Solomon had 800 wives. Mormons can have something like 21 wives, and Muslims are allowed 4 wives. The idea of 1 woman having many husbands has not caught on anywhere yet, but it's an "innovation" that is sure to happen some time in the future, as people "chase" the idea of ideal marriage, according to their own imagination and desires.

Today, it's best to think of marriage as being like a "corporate partnership". A group of people get together and form a "union" for the purpose of "comforts and security". They pool their financial resources, which allows them to buy that fancy house, drive nice fancy cars, and eat good food all the time, even if one or more of them lose their jobs temporarily etc..They can raise kids if they want, or not.

They can even have a "platonic marriage", where "sex" is not an option, and it's only a union for "financial security". So, a group of "monks" can marry each other to enable them to pool resources to run a monastery.

For example, all "nuns" in a nunnery usually pledge themselves to "Jesus", so they are all brides of Jesus, and may even wear a "Ring of Christ" on their marriage finger to tell others who their husband is, etc..

Today, marriage is whatever you want it to be.

But, since it's a voluntary institution, which you "chose", i.e. whether you want to be married or not, and divorce is easy and common, you can't say that marriage is anything like slavery. The slave couldn't just walk away from his master, the way a spouse can today.

In some parts of the world, like in the Jewish Religion, divorce is as simple as saying "I divorce thee" three times, and you're free again.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 11:48 AM
link   
Marriage is a promise, a commitment from one person to the other that as life unfolds, through happiness and trial you will stand beside each other. You set them above all other s as they set you above all others, then you work together as the changes of mortality take you from today to tomorrow.

a reply to: MerkabaMeditation



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 11:54 AM
link   
a reply to: Blindmancc

Why can't you promise the same without getting married?

-MM



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 12:06 PM
link   

originally posted by: MerkabaMeditation
a reply to: Blindmancc

Why can't you promise the same without getting married?

-MM


Well, long ago, the answer would be that sometimes people change their minds, and don't want to uphold the promise anymore. So, the marriage contract then holds them to their original promise. This is one of the main reasons the Catholic Church forbids divorce. You make a promise, you should keep it, not try to weasel your way out when the going gets tough.

Today, of course, morals have changed, and people weasel their way out all the time, without giveing it a second thought.

I don't love you anymore, I'm gone. etc...

So, you're right, in modern times, you could just as easily promise without marriage, because it makes no actual difference anymore. A Hollywood marriage lasts six months. Where's the lifetime "in sickness and in health" pledge gone?

Marriage is meaningless today.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 12:57 PM
link   
Four pages later.... I think we can safely say you will never be caged, a marital slave, or under the influence of another beyond the Government. You will no doubt succeed in remaining single, free, active, happy ...... and alone. Your education on the subject may be a work in progress ad infinitum, but your contentment will be established in stone. Your mindset will prevail in this endeavor, and I Salute You. As most of the hedonistic world also would. Yours is to be acclaimed a success. The singular pleasure yours alone.


May you never regret, or look back and wonder, but be affirmed that your choice was the Best you could of made.
Indeed, may you be the sole keeper of your freedom and delight.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 01:26 PM
link   
My Master is making Chinese food right now..

I just got kicked out of the kitchen...but I managed to snag a beer from the fridge on the way out..

uhh..This together forever thingy is unbearable....



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 01:27 PM
link   
a reply to: ClovenSky

Yes actually.

My mom and dad were partners. My sister is married happily in a balanced relationship, so are my two cousins. The only one who didn't achieve it is my aunt.

On my dad's side of the family, most all of the marriages there are also quite happy and balanced. So were my grandparents.

I think research shows that what you have modeled to you and around you when growing up helps to determine what you seek and find in your own life.
edit on 20-1-2018 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 01:30 PM
link   
a reply to: AMPTAH

I agree and disagree.

Marriage has become meaningless for a lot of people because it makes them feel better about what they're doing in life, but for many, marriage is most certainly *not* meaningless.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 02:31 PM
link   
a reply to: Edumakated

Marriage "should" be a partnership. There we agree. There it ends.

In history, women were chattel; or, like in India and around the world, women are traded for money, goods or services.
They had no choice in their future. Do you watch "Game of Thrones?"

Biologically and economically women need the protection and support of men to safely raise their children. Even with modern times and women in the workforce, women are not nearly as compensated equally. In divorce, women and children still need economic and emotional support-some would say more than men because when he leaves he doesn't usually take the children or continue to provide a stable homelife.

You are also forgetting divorce and child support are very hard on women; who are usually the ones who must struggle to make money and raise the children alone-that is the most likely scenario.

Inequity? Sometimes.

This guy just doesn't want any responsibilities to others-at all. What a guy. He's not alone. Alot of deadbeat dads he can befriend since he really doesn't want to be too tied down with a woman.
edit on 20-1-2018 by Justso because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 02:33 PM
link   
My parents have been married for 56 years and it has been a blessing to share my life with them,both are equals you just haven't struck a good marriage OP.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 02:34 PM
link   
a reply to: Plotus

The only thing we've learned four pages later is:

1. Marry or you'll become alone for life: Emotional slavery, abandonment anxiety is a reason for people to become enslaved in a relationship.

2. People who don't marry either don't just get it, or are stupid, or are just not as educated as married people are (to quote yourself -"Your education on the subject may be a work in progress ad infinitum..") ; societal pressure to get married, you may loose friendship with your peers who "all" are getting married/children - societal slavery

3. People marry for financial reasons, like health ensurance, being able to buy nice food and cars, stable income even though one looses job etc (safety of companionship); financial slavery

4. People marry for emotional blackmail reasons like "want children, then marry me first", or "you want sex, marry me"; relationship slavery

5. People marry for an easy and steady access of safe sex; physical slavery

6. People who don't marry are selfish (to quote yourself -"What your struggling to describe is something else, a selfish or self life..") ; again, societal pressure to get married, you may loose friendship with your peers who "all" are getting married/children - societal slavery

7. Marry for religious reasons; god will punish if not - religious slavery

8. Then you have the lovey dovey anecdotes of people being married for X decades and being so happy, but talking about compromises. Your wife don't like something, tune it down / change your personality.

-MM
edit on 20-1-2018 by MerkabaMeditation because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 02:38 PM
link   
a reply to: rickymouse

"You do not need a gps"-says every man. Ha!



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 02:40 PM
link   
a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

And many of us have told ... over and over ... DON'T MARRY.

No one forces you to. If you feel compelled to marry, then God help the person you eventually do marry and I sure do hope someone sends them this thread.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 02:48 PM
link   

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: MerkabaMeditation

And many of us have told ... over and over ... DON'T MARRY.

No one forces you to. If you feel compelled to marry, then God help the person you eventually do marry and I sure do hope someone sends them this thread.


And, as I have told YOU over and over; societal pressure to get married is a fact - still you claim that "no one forces you to", have you read my posts at all?


-MM
edit on 20-1-2018 by MerkabaMeditation because: (no reason given)



new topics

top topics



 
6
<< 1  2  3    5 >>

log in

join