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Aziz Ansari responds to sexual assault allegation: 'I was surprised and concerned'

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posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 08:50 PM
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originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: melatonin

So saying 'no' and 'don't want to be forced' caused a lack of clear communication... OK D:


No is not just a word it is also an action and an emotional response. Look at the guy, does he look threatening? Did she give him multiple BJs because she was in fear of her life...lol

You want to explain it rather simply, and it is never simple.


So now no doesn't mean no, lol. You're a beaut.

She can decide to remove consent at any point she likes. He is not entitled to a feck because he wants one.

Think in this case it was rather simple. She said 'no' refused his following advances, he acts like entitled boner-driven child, pushes behaviour into sexual assault domain, people blame woman.

It's pretty normal. That's why people rattle on about rape culture. Much prefer to locate the problem at the feet of the perpetrators though. Blaming culture is a step down from victim blaming.
edit on 19-1-2018 by melatonin because: (no reason given)




posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:03 PM
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originally posted by: melatonin

You do get the idea that engaging in a BJ does not provide consent for intercourse, especially when followed by 'no' and 'don't want to be forced'?

Some of you appear to be sexual assault cases waiting to happen, lol.


So did he force her into sex? Maybe I'm missing something here.. She went to his place, he wanted sex she said no, but decided to give him a BJ, end of story. Next date: they went to his house, he wanted sex, she said no, but gave him anther BJ, end of story. She then went to a magazine to tell her story...

What did I miss?



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:05 PM
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originally posted by: melatonin

So now no doesn't mean no, lol. You're a beaut.

She can decide to remove consent at any point she likes. He is not entitled to a feck because he wants one.


She says no then grabs his tool and sucks it...what does that mean..IDK ...lol



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:06 PM
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originally posted by: Xtrozero

What did I miss?



The bit where he followed up the 'no' with a sexual assault in the face of her avoiding his sexual advances by behaviour and emotions (;


originally posted by: Xtrozero
She says no then grabs his tool and sucks it...what does that mean..IDK ...lol


That isn't what she says happened. I linked to the babe article earlier.
edit on 19-1-2018 by melatonin because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:15 PM
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originally posted by: Xtrozero
To have multiple encounters with a person, then say I really didn't want to is lame.


The whole situation was 'sending mixed signals'. If you don't like what's happening to you, you don't stick around.


originally posted by: melatonin
And the absence of a no is not a yes.


Don't be too sure about that. Look up the phrase 'implied consent'.

Be careful here, I think you are sticking up for a world that doesn't exist.

Did you know that you now have to TELL Police that you are exercising your Right to Remain Silent? You have to stop being silent to exercise your Right to Remain Silent. How bass-ackwards is that?!?



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:36 PM
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originally posted by: CryHavoc
Don't be too sure about that. Look up the phrase 'implied consent'.


If that's the best criticism after gawd knows how many posts, then I'll take that (:

Yeah, would be better to phrase it as 'the absence of no doesn't necessarily mean yes' if we're talking more broadly.

In fact, from the event as outlined in the article it applies. She never said no to oral sex and apparently reciprocated with a reluctant BJ. That's on her if it made her feel uncomfortable.

Once she did refuse by saying 'no', avoiding his sexual advances etc, that's where it pushes into problematic territory.

Trying to read her mind. Not ideal but lets try - she obviously liked him. She was happy for some sexual interaction. He got a bit 'over enthusiastic'. She went along for a while until it became too much. She then removed consent. He didn't stop and sexually assaulted her. She was trying to be diplomatic and was avoiding conflict etc.
edit on 19-1-2018 by melatonin because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:45 PM
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originally posted by: melatonin

The bit where he followed up the 'no' with a sexual assault in the face of her avoiding his sexual advances by behaviour and emotions (;


What was the sexual assault?



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:47 PM
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originally posted by: Xtrozero
What was the sexual assault?


Yawn.



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 09:57 PM
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originally posted by: melatonin

Yawn.


I'm serious...is this the sexual assault you suggest?


she was repeatedly "pressured" by Ansari to have intercourse, which they didn't,



posted on Jan, 19 2018 @ 10:03 PM
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originally posted by: Xtrozero
I'm serious...is this the sexual assault you suggest?


Read the babe article.

babe.net...

The turning point in my mind, and hers was here...


Grace says she spent around five minutes in the bathroom, collecting herself in the mirror and splashing herself with water. Then she went back to Ansari. He asked her if she was okay. “I said I don’t want to feel forced because then I’ll hate you, and I’d rather not hate you,” she said.


This is where she started clearly verbalising that she was not happy. She follows up with a clear 'no, i don't want this' after more of his Class A moves. He then carries on.

At almost every point until the end she is trying to be diplomatic with him. Giving him a chance to not be trash. She probably liked him, but he was pure trash and treated her like trash.

If you read back through my posts, this has been my point from the start :/



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 01:04 AM
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a reply to: melatonin

I like how much "LOL" you use, like really laughing out loud ?



What's actually funny is your ridiculous perspective throughout this whole thread, and the fact you let a pathetic dude jerk off in front of you rather than tell him to get lost.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 03:46 AM
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originally posted by: 8675309jenny
a reply to: melatonin

I like how much "LOL" you use, like really laughing out loud ?


Yeah, when responding to people like you. Really D:

Like I really have a big cheesy grin responding to this D:


What's actually funny is your ridiculous perspective throughout this whole thread, and the fact you let a pathetic dude jerk off in front of you rather than tell him to get lost.


lol

Sure he would have been around 5 points up the shaggable scale compared to you. But you both seem to be similarly lacking in the character domain D:

keep GYOW (;
edit on 20-1-2018 by melatonin because: (no reason given)



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 07:19 AM
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originally posted by: melatonin
a reply to: toysforadults

Cool, big boy. Thanks for taking the time to mansplain for me D:



Gosh you're so cool and edgy!

It's interesting how you apparently want men, but you also want to dictate the entire interaction.. Not even talking about assault in any way here.

What you really want is a pet that can be manipulated to behave any way you want, but even worse, you're one of those people who is so stuck in their own world, you try to make your pet a vegan. Refusal to acknowledge reality does not render your fantasy.

You're a control freak, and people like you and "Grace" from the story are doing so much harm to the MeToo movement that's actually sad.



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 07:32 AM
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originally posted by: 8675309jenny
You're a control freak, and people like you and "Grace" from the story are doing so much harm to the MeToo movement that's actually sad.


I don't think expecting boundaries within a sexual interaction to be respected is being a 'control freak'. Just expecting, at minimum, a little mutual respect (:

Many of you seem to presenting men as comparable to this bear... bear please stop ...



D:



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 07:34 AM
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originally posted by: melatonin

originally posted by: 8675309jenny
a reply to: melatonin

I like how much "LOL" you use, like really laughing out loud ?


Yeah, when responding to people like you. Really D:

Like I really have a big cheesy grin responding to this D:


What's actually funny is your ridiculous perspective throughout this whole thread, and the fact you let a pathetic dude jerk off in front of you rather than tell him to get lost.


lol

Sure he would have been around 5 points up the shaggable scale compared to you. But you both seem to be similarly lacking in the character domain D:

keep GYOW (;



Oh look, just like your heroes, you're already slinging baseless insults rather than seeking discussion toward a goal.

www.thedailybeast.com...


quoting Katie Way, who wrote, in part, “Ashleigh — someone I am certain nobody under the age of 45 has heard of — I hope the 500 retweets on the single news write-up made that burgundy lipstick, bad highlights, second-wave feminist has-been really relevant for a little while.” The reason she decided to read Way’s email on-air, Banfield explained, was that, “if you truly believe in the #MeToo movement, if you truly believe in women’s rights, if you truly believe in feminism, the last thing you should do is attack someone in an ad hominem way”




Imagine the public outcry if a male celebrity were to question how "shaggable" a woman was... Haha you're deplorable.

But you might be right in a funny way, I'm certainly not shaggable for you considering I'm married, successful and steer well clear of toxic people like yourself



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 07:45 AM
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originally posted by: 8675309jenny
Imagine the public outcry if a male celebrity were to question how "shaggable" a woman was... Haha you're deplorable.

But you might be right in a funny way, I'm certainly not shaggable for you considering I'm married, successful and steer well clear of toxic people like yourself


hahah D:

You do know that women are more than a mere receptacle for your BDSM fantasies?



posted on Jan, 20 2018 @ 08:20 AM
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originally posted by: 8675309jenny
Men are fed up of being told we're everything awful and then some, and guess what men still control the dynamic of pretty much everything in the world. If it keeps going like this men will just close ranks again and we're back to 1900 in a flash.


OK, knives out >:|

Oh sorry men, we didn't mean to pull you up on your abusive and controlling behaviours. Please let us have jobs and vote and stuff. Don't hurt us, plz ):

Your attitude stinks.

Go back a few posts - you criticise me for allowing the guy to get his kicks and blame that on my weaknesses and that I should have kicked him out.

A post or two later - I'm now a control freak and want to dictate the whole sexual interaction, yet I compromised and let him get his kicks in some way within my boundaries. Of course, he still had to violate them.

Those two positions appear a little incoherent - gosh darnnit, I'm to blame whatever I do :/

I see you (:
edit on 20-1-2018 by melatonin because: (no reason given)



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