Aziz Ansari responds to sexual assault allegation: 'I was surprised and concerned'

i think aziz should structure his next comedy tour around how he's really bad in bed and just basically whines and waves his junk around until women give in just to make it stop...

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: melatonin

No means no. And the absence of a no is not a yes.

That is an interesting statement....

If you do not say no, but continue in the relationship/activity what does that mean?

Context, m'dear.

If you have already told someone 'no' and 'don't want to feel forced' which she did, then that doesn't mean yes.

Really not difficult.

You are still putting this onto the actions/non-actions of the woman/girl and giving the guy a free pass.

You gonna tell me that the poor guy can't help it, he's just a dumb meat sack driven by his penis?

She did effectively say 'not now'. Maybe she actually liked him but wasn't ready. The latter part she actually said. Jesus Christ, you're doing 'well' for Team Guy, lol.

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: melatonin

Yeah, cheers.

Is this example touching a nerve (;

Actually no, I just thought it was funny that a person would give another person 5 chances to hit the right spot... I think after the second time a serious conversation should have happened... like, "if you try that again we are done...." etc etc.

So again you put this on the actions of the woman/girl, lol.

She had already said 'no' and 'don't wanna be forced'. She was trying to be nice. You are essentially saying she must allow him to carry on and feck her or she must be rude or give him a slap and/or force criminal action. That's quite a dilemma. Who said romance was dead? D:

That's lucky then, because in the actual case the conversation had happened. She'd effectively told him 'thanks, but not now' (;

Keep putting this on the actions of the woman/girl. And to think, a little over a 100 years ago men used to think only they could run the world - those poor penis driven meat sacks. Not sure they sound capable of rational thought or voting ):

I seem to have discovered a new psychiatric malady that appears to mainly strike males - I shall call it pensteria. A wandering penis, lol.

originally posted by: fiverx313
i think aziz should structure his next comedy tour around how he's really bad in bed and just basically whines and waves his junk around until women give in just to make it stop...

He should do a double act with Louis CK D:

Oy,

'ave a problem 'avin a romp with a lass? Too much risk for mediocre ass?

Break out the stout, pour yourself a glass.

Enjoy embracing the relationship, that, savin' injury or disease, will always last.

Whether you want to take things slow, or get to the finish fast...

Ain't nothin' ever wrong, with palm scratching the trouser snake's rash.

cheers m8

don't rape

stay home, have a pint

grab your john with lucy left, or taetie wrighte

no media scandal to be had, after you wake up from that "wild" night

originally posted by: fiverx313
i think aziz should structure his next comedy tour around how he's really bad in bed and just basically whines and waves his junk around until women give in just to make it stop...

Hey, that's my act!

originally posted by: Blue Shift
Hey, that's my act!

oh man, i hope you don't think you were the first one to come up with that... seems like SOP for about half of men

originally posted by: fiverx313
oh man, i hope you don't think you were the first one to come up with that... seems like SOP for about half of men

There's an old saying in comedy, "If you're anybody but Steve Allen, you stole my joke!"

Maybe we should engage in introductions something like this, "Hi, my name is blah blah blah and my safe-word is Banana".

a reply to: melatonin

Let me tell you something.

MANY women if not most want a man who's willing to be assertive and take control and they are turned off by men who aren't.

Yeah it's really hard to tell the difference for men who in fact do not think like women.

It's very hard and blurry line to walk and sometimes people misunderstand and a lot of times it's just that. Women do get raped but every misunderstanding isn't an intentional rape or situation where a man was trying to take advantage of someone.

This me too movement has every single woman on the planet as a rape victim.

originally posted by: toysforadults
This me too movement has every single woman on the planet as a rape victim.

No, not rape victim. Sadly, though, fewer than around 10% of classic 'acquaintance' rape is actually reported to the police. Probably because of the #ty attitudes that tend to gravitate in this area.

Quite obvious that there's a good proportion of men even in this thread who strongly believe that sexual assault in accordance with the law in most western countries is merely a minor quibble during a bad date, lol.

If you said that it is likely that the vast majority of women and girls have or will at some point in their lives be sexually assaulted, then that's probably the case.

It's an uncomfortable truth. And one I can understand that many men will want swamped in a sea of bull# (:

Let me tell you something.

MANY women if not most want a man who's willing to be assertive and take control and they are turned off by men who aren't.

Did you learn that off the interweb guide to being a real man? D:

originally posted by: toysforadults
MANY women if not most want a man who's willing to be assertive and take control and they are turned off by men who aren't.

Men are trained to be assertive -- "pushy," if you will -- and women have the right of refusal. I think rather than educating men about when to stop, it might help to educate women to be clear and unambiguous when she says "no."

a reply to: Blue Shift

It sounds fair, Blue Shift. I have some issues with how she handled the situation but during the moment there is a tendency to want to defuse and be diplomatic. That's part of female socialisation (:

In this case, 'Grace' did give a clear enough 'No' and went further. Maybe she wanted to develop the relationship, maybe she got cold feet and was letting him down gently... don't know, I can't speak for her.

If you look at some responses, though, even that wasn't enough :/

a reply to: melatonin

Did you learn that off the interweb guide to being a real man? D:

It's a fact of real life not online propaganda.

a reply to: toysforadults

Cool, big boy. Thanks for taking the time to mansplain for me D:

Interesting extract from a study ""If a Girl Doesn’t Say ‘no’. . .’’: Young Men,
Rape and Claims of ‘Insufficient Knowledge’" ...

Evident throughout this extract is the participants’ overarching employment and acceptance of the miscommunication model in accounting for rape. Jason is the first to respond to the interviewer’s question about the adequacy of the theory (l. 531–6) and, in contrast to his own earlier version in Extract 3, in which he asserted that a verbal ‘no’ is an effective means for women to avoid rape, it can be seen that he too now endorses the subsequent account proposed by Cam (in Extract 5), in which a ‘no’ alone was claimed to be insufficient and as having potentially negative consequences for the ‘perpetrator’. In Jason’s reformulation he addresses Cam’s concerns by constructing the need for a ‘girl’ who gives a verbal ‘no’ to accompany it with congruent non-verbal behaviour—to ‘look you in the eye’—in order for the refusal to be ‘heard’ and accepted by the recipient as a refusal of unwanted sex (l. 537–8). This claim is bolstered by contrasting it with a second, alternate example: ‘if she sort of says ‘‘no::’’ and does the whole look away flirty’ (l. 540–1) is constructed as having negative consequences for the recipient, who is left ‘in the lurch’ (Hutchby & Wooffitt, 1998).7 This further accomplishes the construction of women as being responsible for rape and men as passive bystanders helplessly ‘left’ without agency in the act.

www.brown.uk.com...

Poor meat sack men - it seems some just can't help raping and assaulting women ):

originally posted by: melatonin

You gonna tell me that the poor guy can't help it, he's just a dumb meat sack driven by his penis?

It is obvious the woman didn't get her message across correctly. Was it because the guy being a pile of sh@t and just could not understand "context" or the girl kind of saying "no" as she gave him head so the guy assume it was a "yes"..who knows, but in the end the communication wasn't correct.

Still just a bad date....

originally posted by: melatonin

So again you put this on the actions of the woman/girl, lol.

The actions is on the person not wanting it...you assume it is always the girl. I have had women not willing to get out of my car or on house. I also have had sex with some I really didn't want to, but saw the path of sex easier than the path of them freaking out in my house, so once again...just a bad date...lol

She had already said 'no' and 'don't wanna be forced'. She was trying to be nice. You are essentially saying she must allow him to carry on and feck her or she must be rude or give him a slap and/or force criminal action. That's quite a dilemma. Who said romance was dead? D:

She had a choice of leaving, but decided to give him a blow job instead...OK

originally posted by: Xtrozero
It is obvious the woman didn't get her message across correctly. Was it to the guy being a pile of sh@t and just could not understand "context" or the girl kind of saying "no" as she gave him head so the guy assume it was a "yes"..who knows, but in the end the communication wasn't correct.

Still just a bad date....

So saying 'no' and 'don't want to be forced' caused a lack of clear communication... OK D:

originally posted by: Xtrozero
The actions is on the person not wanting it...

...

She had a choice of leaving, but decided to give him a blow job instead...OK

No, she was OK giving him a BJ. She didn't want more.

You do get the idea that engaging in a BJ does not provide consent for intercourse, especially when followed by 'no' and 'don't want to be forced'?

Some of you appear to be sexual assault cases waiting to happen, lol.

originally posted by: melatonin

So saying 'no' and 'don't want to be forced' caused a lack of clear communication... OK D:

No is not just a word it is also an action and an emotional response. Look at the guy, does he look threatening? Did she give him multiple BJs because she was in fear of her life...lol

You want to explain it rather simply, and it is never simple.