Aziz Ansari responds to sexual assault allegation: 'I was surprised and concerned'

a reply to: chelsdh

No you are on topic. That is a salient point of the discussion.

a reply to: Blue Shift

They sure do. I know a lawyer trying a case right now. Happens all the time according to him.

originally posted by: eNumbra

originally posted by: luthier
a reply to: eNumbra

Perhaps you should be more clear and take your own advise.

Like this person probably wasn't a victim and it wasn't a gray area.

I mean do we all just start blaming the world for own bad choices? Jesus..it's pretty clear. Don't be so star struck you can't control yourself in the situation and hope body language which obviously wasn't forceful enough to push someone away is really an argument.

Just because you think the world is black and white doesn’t mean I’m not being clear. You can make bad choices and still end up a victim.

Maybe you can. I learn from mistakes.

Theres a reason why women had chaperones in the 1800's. It was to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Remember A Room With A View, where the guy kisses the girl in a poppy field and it was a big deal, though it looks innocent to you and me, it was a big deal in those days and constituted a scandal. A single kiss. The sexual revolution made casual sex an ordinary thing. We really do need to revise our ideas and go back to something a little more modest in this area. Someone else posted that women should cover up more. Hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

Seen some interesting threads here recently, think this one wins the 'thread most likely to make me wanna vomit' award.

The victim blaming is quite shocking.

Of course, guys would never take advantage of a drunk girl. Just look at Brock Turner, the lad was an upstanding student according to his dad - of course he never raped a drunk incapacitated girl behind a dumpster, duh!

She was unconscious and couldn't remember saying no, but she was absolutely still up for it, yo - he was winning!

*puke*

originally posted by: Xtrozero
Maybe, but I'm saying I haven't seen a woman that gives a blowjob to just get it over with because they do not want to do anything...

Just like women never fake orgasms to just get it over with because they really can't be bothered and wanna sleep, but they have been pestered into acting as a sex object for partners.

haha.

I once let a guy jack off in my presence as I said no and he couldn't handle being cockblocked. He was gonna cry and cry until he puked - it was his right to get some sexual satisfaction, you see! Easier to just let him shoot his load to see him on his way. Could have been way worse (:

Of course, it wasn't enough to just shoot his load. He had to humiliate me just a little - I'll leave that to your imagination. I never consented to that part, but was just glad to see the back of him. Again, could have been worse (:

Perhaps think of the fact that many, if not most, of the women and girls in your life have to navigate these 'could have been worse' situations . Sad, really - and it doesn't reflect on the women and girls.

a reply to: toysforadults

So she didnt say NO , and used a mixture of "verbal" ( so NO wasnt used ) and non verbal
queues to express she felt pressured, so you have the ability to speak your mind , and say nO or stop or this isnt right or you are making me feel weird
she isnt Autistic so surely she can express herself properly , he isnt autistic so he can read social queues as well
she has legs right ? she can get up and walk out
she also gave him head , yeh I am not convinced with her story at all

and then complained about it the next day saying she felt pressured
but still went along with it

how many people have had sex with someone at the time and the next day regretted it ?
not everyone answer at once !

a reply to: melatonin

I think men get into uncomfortable sexual situations as well.

We have a very sexually repressed culture and our lack of honest conversation around the topic nakes it very hard to navigate the waters especially when you are young.

Never everyone is a predator some people are really dumb.

Our culture is very flawed.

originally posted by: ThirdEyeofHorus
Theres a reason why women had chaperones in the 1800's. It was to prevent this sort of thing from happening. Remember A Room With A View, where the guy kisses the girl in a poppy field and it was a big deal, though it looks innocent to you and me, it was a big deal in those days and constituted a scandal. A single kiss. The sexual revolution made casual sex an ordinary thing. We really do need to revise our ideas and go back to something a little more modest in this area. Someone else posted that women should cover up more. Hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

I don't think reversing course to a more sexually repressed culture with less co versation is the right way to go.

a reply to: toysforadults

agreed open dialogue and honest communication between the sexes is the way forward as one !

hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube but not hard to put your penis back in your trousers !

lets be honest with ourselves men and lets be honest with the women we choose to associate with !

there is also a huge weight of males speaking to males about their emotions and how they see the world,
we males need to discuss between ourselves as well without being "macho" and caliming its only gays who speak about their feelings.

We have emotions for a reason and we also have the ability to express ourselves for a reason and if more males start talking about life to each other we break down the cultural rules of "men " no opening up about life . Not sharing their emotions for fear of being perceived as weaker by "alpha" males in society who only care about their muscles their car, their team , their beer etc

originally posted by: melatonin

originally posted by: Xtrozero
Maybe, but I'm saying I haven't seen a woman that gives a blowjob to just get it over with because they do not want to do anything...

Just like women never fake orgasms to just get it over with because they really can't be bothered and wanna sleep, but they have been pestered into acting as a sex object for partners.

haha.

I once let a guy jack off in my presence as I said no and he couldn't handle being cockblocked. He was gonna cry and cry until he puked - it was his right to get some sexual satisfaction, you see! Easier to just let him shoot his load to see him on his way. Could have been way worse (:

Of course, it wasn't enough to just shoot his load. He had to humiliate me just a little - I'll leave that to your imagination. I never consented to that part, but was just glad to see the back of him. Again, could have been worse (:

Perhaps think of the fact that many, if not most, of the women and girls in your life have to navigate these 'could have been worse' situations . Sad, really - and it doesn't reflect on the women and girls.

The media has so sexualized society.... it's so sad. Even with the revolution in spiritual understanding, we get bombarded with images of sexy women showing us the impossible ideal that only wealthy women with a gaggle of handmaidens and hair stylists can achieve...... the rest of us have to suffer with our every day looks. Amazing that the fallen angels thought we were beautiful without even makeup. But it says in Enoch that they taught us how to wear it.

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: melatonin

I think men get into uncomfortable sexual situations as well.

We have a very sexually repressed culture and our lack of honest conversation around the topic nakes it very hard to navigate the waters especially when you are young.

Never everyone is a predator some people are really dumb.

Our culture is very flawed.

Repressed? Society needs to find deeper meaning in life than the useless pursuit of sexual things. This is not just about being moral, it's about not just caving to carnal desires, its about raising the kundalini life force within and understanding our Higher Being. That is missing in the average peoples lives. I'm not talking about going to church and engaging in orthodoxy, I'm talking about real understanding. The Church has been perverted and the truth missing.

originally posted by: sapien82
a reply to: toysforadults

agreed open dialogue and honest communication between the sexes is the way forward as one !

hard to put the toothpaste back in the tube but not hard to put your penis back in your trousers !

lets be honest with ourselves men and lets be honest with the women we choose to associate with !

there is also a huge weight of males speaking to males about their emotions and how they see the world,
we males need to discuss between ourselves as well without being "macho" and caliming its only gays who speak about their feelings.

We have emotions for a reason and we also have the ability to express ourselves for a reason and if more males start talking about life to each other we break down the cultural rules of "men " no opening up about life . Not sharing their emotions for fear of being perceived as weaker by "alpha" males in society who only care about their muscles their car, their team , their beer etc

I think what you may be talking about is men accepting and nurturing their Omega side but without sacrificing the alpha energy. It's about balance. Women have been taught now they have to sacrifice their Omega side and be more like men.....weve seen what that produced....ruthless women in the workplace and ruthless politicians.

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: melatonin

I think men get into uncomfortable sexual situations as well.

I don't doubt that - such coercive power plays are certainly not solely a male pursuit. But it's pretty normalised and even expected from the male angle. It's pretty obvious in the language and terminology used.

The post I noted earlier is a classic example.

originally posted by: ThirdEyeofHorus
The media has so sexualized society.... it's so sad. Even with the revolution in spiritual understanding, we get bombarded with images of sexy women showing us the impossible ideal that only wealthy women with a gaggle of handmaidens and hair stylists can achieve...... the rest of us have to suffer with our every day looks. Amazing that the fallen angels thought we were beautiful without even makeup. But it says in Enoch that they taught us how to wear it.

True. The language, media, society and culture in general have an impact.

However, no matter how a woman dresses, media influence, etc etc, that's doesn't justify nor excuse abusive or coercive behaviour. It presents men as some pathetic weak human driven only by base desires and their dong.

I'd like to think most men are entirely capable of rising above such base behaviour.

And a final note on the general issue of how these situations are perceived.

If you read through the thread...

Didn't go to the police and don't speak out - see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil. no problem.

Didn't go to police but speak out - then no real problem; girl is likely gold-digger, ruiner of careers, all over vile harlot who should be imprisoned.

Go to Police and no evidence to follow through or no guilty verdict - probably lying, prolly simple regret, girls do it all the time.

Go to Police and get the pretty rare guilty verdict - maybe lying, maybe not.

The whole tone and focus of such conversations are tainted. The Woody Allen situation in the news today is a good illustration - his own daughter reports sexual abuse. Many prefer the idea she was brainwashed by her mother. Obviously, much more likely than a child being sexually abused :/

And some wonder why most sex crimes go unreported and that some talk of the concept of rape culture.

a reply to: ThirdEyeofHorus

Yeh I completely agree , nature is about balance, the whole universe is about balance
we need to find our harmony again!

originally posted by: sapien82
agreed open dialogue and honest communication between the sexes is the way forward as one!

Never happen. Sex is too valuable and expensive for women for them to ever "come clean" about what they want. They'll lose their bargaining power. And as long as that is in place, men will respond accordingly.

Puts mouth on genitals

Claims sexual harassment

Ahhhhhh the world we live in.


I think a lot of you people here are blowing this way out of proportion and generalizing the actual situation.

They went on a date, they went back to his apt, they had drinks, she performed oral, didn't want to anything more than that. left.

they talked it out, he apologized. now she is pulling the sexual harassment card....give me a break.

About a week later, the two went out to dinner. The date continued at Ansari's apartment afterward, where, according to the woman, she was repeatedly "pressured" by Ansari to have intercourse, which they didn't, and to perform oral sex, which she did.

I wonder if that is the non verbal queue she gave him. If so, I can see how that can confuse someone.

originally posted by: toysforadults
Also, "I felt pressured" isn't the same as, "I had no choice" to me. If you felt pressured and didn't put your foot down then who's really at fault?

You'll notice it was taken to a news agency and not the Police. We need to start calling this "Reputation Assault". I wouldn't blame him a bit for filing a Defamation of Character or Libel lawsuit against her.