posted on Mar, 10 2018 @ 03:32 PM
a reply to: LightSpeedDriver
I think you may find a use for this ...
Customer Testimonial: Dealing with Noisy Neighbors
With Liquid ASS, I can live my life again! Let me explain: I have noisy neighbors — neighbors who don't listen to me or the police when we ask for
peace and quiet. I work in a hospital and have to operate at 6AM some days, so I need my rest — wouldn't you want your surgeon to get some sleep?
Anyway, these idiots play Rock Band all night on weeknights, and I just couldn't take it. One morning, I had an epiphany — in the form of Liquid
First off, Liquid ASS arrives FAST! (I think the geniuses behind this product know that when you order Liquid ASS, you need it FAST!) I would
describe it as smelling like a goat with a colostomy bag that was beaten to death, then eaten by a bear, who subsequently got toxic megacolon and
exploded in my face. I got it on a Saturday and waited . . . I didn't have to wait long. Sunday night, 3AM, I was awoken with the foul strains of
poorly–played Rock Band. So, I crept to their window, and released such foulness — it was as if the gates of Hell opened and Lucifer himself
loosed his bowels upon them. It wasn't more than 2 squirts (I did 6 total) into the fan blowing into their apartment, when I heard the ungodly, "What
the F**K is that??!??!" I ran off, only to hear them close behind — not chasing me, mind you, but escaping the foul wind they had summoned. I
heard one of them ask the other, "What the F**K! Did a horse # and die out here??!"
Needless to say, I slept well that night. Luckily, I bought the 4–pack, so I have plenty in reserve should I need it again. Some people never learn
. . . I have more Liquid ASS, then they have noise in the middle of the night!
Thanks liquid ASS — I am no longer simply waiting to die — the future seems brighter somehow.
— Toxic Megacolon
edit on 10-3-2018 by Timely because: (no reason given)