Mom....died tonight

Really sorry for your loss

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Paying my respects. Remember to be careful because in grief we can become emotionally very vulnerable. This is now a time to concentrate on you and the process of grief.

What to be careful of in my experience is the guilt feelings. They get blown up out of all proportion. Life happens, we do our best. It is NEVER good enough because we are compromised humans. Much grief has taught me this.

I am not on speaking terms with my Mum and Step Dad. They neglected me too much and were never there when I needed them. Even worse, they treat my half brother like a King and me like a tramp. I can't cope with it any longer. They have made me mentally unwell. The dynamics are very unhealthy and I have to sacrifice my wellbeing just to spend any company with them, to the point where every time became a twist of a knife in my heart.

The other week she gave me a piece of awful cake and it nearly killed me. I had an acute astma episode and stopped breathing at one point. It was like life was telling me to stop giving my Mom access because she was literally killing me and destroying my life. She will never admit to doing anything wrong in this life, so haughty and living in an illusion, and will not take any criticism without going into a blind rage. I tried to talk, but she does not have the emotional maturity to solve this and it takes two to solve an emotional puzzle.

I am in an emotional limbo. They are getting old now. I though about what if she dies with this unresolved and then I realized that it is not my fault because I did want to make things better, but it is impossible. Rather than keep banging my head against that wall I have left them.

Yes, we have our feelings. However, death and loss we all must face repeatedly as we get older. Think of Job; he has a lot to teach us about this. We must realise that we are mortal creatures, totally in the hands of the Universe. Death is as natural as birth. It is even more honest than birth. People are born into this world, some with lots and some with nothing; "Some are born to sweet delight and some are born to endless night" (William Blake and Jim Morrison). In death all will leave with nothing in the same humility. That is why I call death the great equalizer.

I have experienced loss so many times now. I say to you all live every day like it is your last. Make something of it, no matter how small. People can't bear too much reality and they always put it to the back of their minds, but I tell you tomorrow you may not be here or one of your loved ones may not be here.

Instead of all this mayhem of selfishness, violence and conflict, cherish the moments.

My Grandmother brought me up. She died aged 54 in my arms suddenly one morning when I was 13. She always loved this beautiful Elvis song. It is beautifully morbid. A lot of songs Elvis sang people might say are cheesy, but they are just songs that all humans can relate to, rich and poor, the common experience of us all; love and loss.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

So sorry for you and losing the greatest woman in your life

well.. if it makes you feel any better, my dog is gonna die tomorrow. it's gonna have to be put down from sickness.

I am so sorry Clay..bitterly sorry to hear of your loss,and for the rest of your family too,my sympathy and condolences.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Sorry for your loss Flyingclaydisk especially at this time , all I can say is be strong for those around you and grieve when you can.
If there was love in your relationship that love never dies and the memories you will cherish forever.

RiP

I am feeling with you, lost my mom some months ago too.

My most profound condolences my friend, it's hard to lose a loved one and the holidays don't help.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I am truly sorry to hear about your loss. She was a blessing to us all, raising a wonderful person such as yourself. My condolences.

Sorry to hear of your massive loss.

Although your mom has gone
She will always be with you and be your number one
Be strong for the one who was never wrong
And remember always, her says and ways
For peace in the coming days

Thinking of you especially today.
I'm sorry for your loss.

-Alee

Sorry for your loss, condolences.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

You are in my thoughts.

Your Mom would never want you to be sad.

Think well of her, and smile.

I'm sure your Mom would like that 😊

a reply to: SR1TX

That's what appears when you first make a thread. It disappears. That is unless you hit the post button. Then it stays and you get what you see there.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Sorry to hear about your mom. It's a horrible time of year for it. Take care of yourself. I

Sincerest Sympathies to you and yours.

I am sorry to hear of your loss...

Sorry for your loss.

You will be in my thoughts.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

May the Force guide your mom in her journey in the afterlife.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk


Wow man,,,,,,so sorry for your loss.......