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originally posted by: ThePeaceMaker
Not a good Christmas this year for me, sat here on my own with two presents. No family as they have moved 300 miles away, two days off work. But hey F it .. I've got ATS lol
Merry Christmas to all
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, no food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie, along with a note that said "presents or die". Children were plotting all night in their beds, while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head.
But daddy had money this year in the bank, then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank.
... and all of a sudden Santa appeared, a sneer on his face, booze in his beard. Santa I said as he laughed merrily, you do so much for others do something for me.
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes, your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze. Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife, her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife.
As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung, he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue. And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee: you're married with children, you'll never be free.
12 Days of Christmas First responder version -
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A drunk who drove into a tree
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree....
Three O.D.'s
Four beaten wives
Five suicides
Six random knifings
Seven strangled shoppers
Eight burn victims
Nine amputations
Ten frozen homeless
Eleven drive-by shootings
Twelve beaten children
originally posted by: Xcathdra
a reply to: Vasa Croe
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, no food was a stirring, not even a mouse.
Stockings were hung 'round dad's neck like a tie, along with a note that said "presents or die". Children were plotting all night in their beds, while the wife's constant whining was splitting his head.
But daddy had money this year in the bank, then they closed up early, now dad's in the tank.
... and all of a sudden Santa appeared, a sneer on his face, booze in his beard. Santa I said as he laughed merrily, you do so much for others do something for me.
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes, your son is a sneak-thief, your daughters' a flooze. Ho Ho Santa said, should I mention your wife, her hairs like an a-bomb, her nails like a knife.
As he climbs up the chimney, that fat piece of dung, he mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue. And I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee: you're married with children, you'll never be free.
12 Days of Christmas First responder version -
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A drunk who drove into a tree
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree....
Three O.D.'s
Four beaten wives
Five suicides
Six random knifings
Seven strangled shoppers
Eight burn victims
Nine amputations
Ten frozen homeless
Eleven drive-by shootings
Twelve beaten children
Merry Christmas all...