Comical sh1t happens

So recent catastrophic life changing events have put me in search of
ways to cheer myself up. Recognizing that the staff and members of
the ATS forum have never come close to letting me down. I thought
to turn to you all again. Deciding to make a thread we could all tell
our "I remember when " comical occurances that have happened to
us in the past.

And with the overly abundant and seemingly unfair persistence of
mind boggling events that have often had friends or just onlookers
witnessing, shaking thier heads in disbelief. I often find myself
delaring to oeople, strangers I've never met., " No no it's okay,
I even have to fight for toilet paper most of the time. At least I'm
not arriving to a party completely inebriated on a pint of Cuervo.
Getting punched in the face out of nowhere by a nemisis. Where in
the force sends me rolling backasswards down a hundred feet of
embankment covered in ice plant. Then being pinned so tight from
the force of hitting the chain link fence at the bottom. The twisted
prongs dig in to my ass deep enough to leave me scarred for life when
my depraved friends fail to lift the fence instead of just dragging me out
from under from it.

The look on punchie's face was classic when we all got back up the
hilll after an hour of fighting slick cold ice plant try'n to make it back up.
I know I slid all the way back down five times at least and was a bloody
mess when I just looked at him and said, " Nice F@#$%^g punch".

Rocky Guvarra became a very good friend to me after that. He said
I made him feel real stupid saying that in front of the whole party
when everyone knew he cold cocked me.

But it doesn't have to be all about you or me. I've seen some manical
crap happen to people. And if the above doesn't strike you as
comical? Don't use the handicap of text as an excuse.Tell a better
one. " I gotta a million of 'em". And now I have a spot to record them
and so do you.


Almost fogot, Merry Christmas everybody.

a reply to: randyvs

Whoa, sorry to hear that. Like you bud, I've also had terrible times this past year. I hope things go well for you.

a reply to: randyvs

This story made me chuckle, though admittedly it's funnier if you know the guys involved.

Local bar guy we will call him Bill. He has a reputation for being a fighter. Well he starts making fun of a guy not known to be a fighter for some reason or another.

One day Bill is setting quietly enjoying a drink, when another big guy comes in and calls home out for picking on his little buddy.

Bill walks outside with the guy to fight him.

About 5 minutes later, Bill comes walking back in the bar, sits at his seat and starts drinking again.

His face is covered in blood and swollen.

Someone asked him what happened.

Bill just calmly says "I guess he was way madder than me"

He stayed the rest of the day drinking like he didn't have a care in the world.

a reply to: Grambler

Perfect

And I must say, that's a great start Gram. I could see it like
I was there by your discription and timing.

Well playrd amigo.

I don't even know where to start with bar stories. And
some might even get me band.

a reply to: randyvs

lol. That is a good story to have Randy. It would be an interesting story to hear why he punched ya, but ATS does have T&C.

As for one of my stories, I don't know if it is comical or not, but they are all I got.

One time I knocked on my Chief's office door.
He said- Come in, sit down.
So I did.

I had finished all of my assignments and everything was in tip top, so I had some time to kill and thought it would be a good idea to mess around with my Flight Chief.

He says - Why are you sitting in front of my desk?
I say - I have a personal problem I would like to discuss with you.

He leans back in his desk, and I could see his curiosity peak. It was at this point I decided it would be a good idea to play it out.

He says - Okay. Get on with it.

I say - Sergeant "Bill" my problem involves me having relations with a married women.

He says - That is a problem you need to take care of. Integrity is very important in our line of work and-

I, interrupting him, say - That is not the worst part sir.

Raising his left eyebrow he says - Okay. What is the worst part?

I say - Her Husband work's in the same shop as me.

His eye's spring open and he says - That is something that I will not allow and consequences will be suffered.

Regaining his composure, his wheels start turning in his mind and he says- I have to ask, and you are going to tell me. Who is the Husband.

Dead faced I say - Me.

After 10 seconds of him just looking at me like,"WTF is going on", I smiled.
His eye's sprang open for a second time and he said - Get the hell out of my office!

About 3 days later he told me to pull it on my First Sargent. So I did.

a reply to: 3daysgone

Pretty ballsy if you ask me brother man. Toying with
the unpredictable but you faired well.

Great reply.

originally posted by: starwarsisreal
a reply to: randyvs

Whoa, sorry to hear that. Like you bud, I've also had terrible times this past year. I hope things go well for you.

Life is so fickel huh?

I'm terrible at telling stories.

Thinking of ya, Randy.

a reply to: KansasGirl

Awe!
My lady you are to sweet. Admittedly it is often difficult
to convey the comsdy we remember thru text. But i'll
try again.

Had a home bar I attended daily for years late 80s
early 90's. Became part of the crew and we lived like
rock stars without the music for quite awhile.

Two doors down from the bars location in the same
lot provided a liquor store. Take my word for it a bar
full of maniacs like us should not even have that
much convenience to that much hard alcohol.

Even with most of the bars traditional profits were
from beer sales only. Lots of nefarious reasons some
valid some not. The under cover guys would be
try'n to play it off some how get in the mix try'n to
get confirmation of whatever.

So these two like all the others gave them selves up
immediately. And we always had a good time with
that. But this time one of the crew we can also call
him Bill decides to take this familiar calamity to a
whole new level. He introduces himself to the officers
with an alias and that was the only cue I needed
to keep an eye on this hut case.

He enters into thier pool game, bare kinda busy
and Billy being one those people that find
the most hilarious way to say everything that
came out of his mouth. And at the same time
a no fear badass capable on a pretty high level.

But no hero of mine really.

Thru the course of shooting pool and pretending
to be unaware of thier status. Bill gets this manical
conversation going on with these to fools. That
catered perfectly to his walk'n away talk'n out of
the side of his neck and eye rolls. Filled in by
these lewd tongue in cheeck expressions he
could get on his face.

And this went on longer then most of us could stand.
I know I had to exit the bar three times because I
couldn't contain the laughter but didn't wanna
blow it either." You had to be there" but that is easily
ranked among some of the funniest damn
things I've ever seen in my life.

Even before the part where we all just gave up
try'n contain our selves and pretty soon we were
all straight up laugh'n at 'em and they still didn't
catch on. I think they were axtually getting in to
our crowd and thought we liked 'em.

But nah we didn't.

Took the watch commander of the San Bernardino
Co sherrifs office weeks coming to our place
every night full of threats against everybody
that ever entered the place. Before I finally
comvinced my guy to give up the shield he
lifted from the jacket one those cops had
draped over the back of his chair.

I admit I missed Bill try'n to arrest me every night
with that officers shield. But the heat was
getting way to high. Sowhen the cops made
the offer to just return it thru the
bar no questions asked. I guess we started to
feel some remorse for thier desperation.
They finally made the right call and it was time
to let life go on.