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Advice and instruction for idiots

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posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 10:28 AM
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I was visiting my neighbor this morn. The TV was tuned to one of those moronic morning talk shows. The last guest was an "efficiency expert" who warned in a phony, overly-dramatic voice that "The New Year is coming soon. Let's get a head-start on our plans and goals. FIRST, let's get ORGANIZED!" She then explained that we should prioritize our tasks and do the most important things first. A bonus pearl of wisdom:
If a task seems overwhelming, break it down into several smaller tasks, and presto!...it will be easier!

The host commented on how this efficiency genius had written a couple books! WOW!
This stuff is a comedic genre in and of itself.

Being smart-asses, my neighbor and I fired up the laptops and searched out a few online instructional "how to do it" lists. We were trying to find the silliest. The search yielded an endless supply.

One that came up quickly was "How to make your house smell great". I kid you not...one of the first tips was: If something stinks, get rid of it.

Another magic instructional was "Secrets to keeping your house dust-free" Guess what? You're supposed to dust and vacuum!


Here are a few other gems:

How to take a shower

How to become a philosopher
(One of the instructions in this one is "Read Philosophy Books")

Here's one of my favorites:
How to be random

This stupid product instructions list is great:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.


On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
This broom does not actually fly.


Stupid product instructions



This is good:
Stupid person's guide to life

Also good:




posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 10:39 AM
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a reply to: ColeYounger

Have to post this :>)



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 10:56 AM
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a reply to: ColeYounger

So, you spent some time watching a show for "dumb-assed" folks?
And...well, that's enough right there....



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 11:57 AM
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a reply to: Aliensun

Weren't you in the audience? Third row? Clapping and cheering?



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 02:31 PM
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The sad thing is, there are people who do need these instructions. For the person in the normal IQ range, this is funny. But some people, those who are mentally ill, or on the lower part of the Bell Curve, need these simple instructions.

I was a psych rehab trainer for years. You'd be surprised at the simple stuff people don't know how to do.

I don't know whether to laugh or to cry when I realize that the majority of the population needs to be told that a toy Harry Potter broom doesn't actually fly.



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 03:26 PM
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THe product disclaimers are simply about indemnification. No one is really that stupid....but you can get rich arguing you are that stupid in court.

The other stuff....im not shocked. People really are dumb, and even worse....written content is put together without even thinking. On the internet you put up content, let people click in, then you cash in on the ad revenue. That doesn't encourage solid quality content, as people will click into all sorts of really, really stupid stuff while scrolling through Facebook.



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 03:35 PM
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originally posted by: ColeYounger
a reply to: Aliensun

Weren't you in the audience? Third row? Clapping and cheering?


Hey we all take our chances with iffy threads.
Don't ever leave a typing hand dangling out the window, mama said.



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 03:48 PM
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a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan





No one is really that stupid.



I respectfully disagree. I run into people that are barely sentient. Daily.



posted on Dec, 14 2017 @ 03:49 PM
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a reply to: Aliensun

Good reply! It's a good thing we Englishmen can laugh at each other.



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