Baptist Preacher Gives Congregation Advice on How to Avoid a Gay Waiter

as a gay, I can explain what Foo Foo means: it's the magical glitter dust that attaches itself to every gay person after their first same sex romantic encounter. soap won't get rid of it. I've heard of people trying prayer, but that only seems to increase particle density. sometimes it accidentally (?) falls into people's drinks or gets inhaled, and has been known to snatch faithful husbands from their otherwise upstanding, heavenly sanctified marriages.
BEWARE THE FOO FOO!
usually only found in gay men, the lesbian equivalent of the foo foo resembles sawdust. (said with humor and absolute sarcasm)

eta: I just made myself chuckle. thanks for the op...I needed the laugh today.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Nickn3
Wonder what would Jesus think?

The one who hung around with 12 dudes and never got married?

With his foo foo robes, hair, and obsession with cheeks?

a reply to: skunkape23

The gaydar is strong in that supposed preacher..must be it.
I wonder if has done any sermons on how to avoid having your children molested by priests/church officials?

a reply to: bgerbger

All I know is that the only men I know who think this much about gay waiters are gay men.

i have a feeling that this guy avoids gay waiters because they'll recognize him from their last craigslist M4M....

As an internet expert in all things, I can safely say that you can catch the gay from gay waiters if you don't spray anti-gay on your silverware.

Anti-gay is a special formula (that smells like bourbon) that is infused in these wipes.

PS; they also clean servers.

a reply to: DBCowboy

PS; they also clean servers

I thought that's what hammers are for?

I love this thread so much.

With all the current political s**t on ATS, it's nice to know there's still at least one thing we can all agree on.

Bashing a homophobe to pieces is just the "right" thing to do.

The only way this could be better is if this dude's gay waiter was reading this article, recognized him and planted a sloppy kiss on his bigot mouth in said restaurant. (perhaps that'd keep the jackass from ever coming back lol)

Keep on keepin' on gang. And let's hope this guy has a son that comes out of the closet the same day he gets a job as a waiter.

originally posted by: Abysha
With his foo foo robes, hair, and obsession with cheeks?

You're already going to hell for your lifestyle so I guess this cant hurt your chances much more.

originally posted by: fiverx313
i have a feeling that this guy avoids gay waiters because they'll recognize him from their last craigslist M4M....

He's a hot commodity on Grindr.

originally posted by: Eshel
The only way this could be better is if this dude's gay waiter was reading this article, recognized him and planted a sloppy kiss on his bigot mouth in said restaurant. (perhaps that'd keep the jackass from ever coming back lol)

Let's not get too crazy here. That would be sexual harassment and then the story would get super complicated and not fun to discuss anymore.

a reply to: bgerbger

this is surprising, considering that Baptists are usually more tolerant than the radical sectors of Christianity.

a reply to: Krazysh0t

Fair enough. I get carried away sometimes when I start wishing for karma to play her part.

I formally rescind that comment.

Maybe he should have put up no pole smoking signs.
a reply to: bgerbger

But it's working both ways. When every gay will start avoiding him what will happen with his sex life?

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Nickn3
Wonder what would Jesus think?

The one who hung around with 12 dudes and never got married?

I like to think he got married or at least got laid. It makes him more human to me. Like in the book, The Da vince Code,Who knows, perhaps he was an ancestor. My linage is European and Cherokee mixed. I would do a DNA test, but I am afraid that I would be related to some strange assholes.

originally posted by: Nickn3
I would do a DNA test, but I am afraid that I would be related to some strange assholes.

And with your luck it would be me.

originally posted by: Abysha

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Nickn3
Wonder what would Jesus think?

The one who hung around with 12 dudes and never got married?

With his foo foo robes, hair, and obsession with cheeks?

I would be more concerned with his love of podophilia (foot fetish/worship).



He will have problems finding a mom to serve him at my new concept bar Shaafters. He may enjoy a nice Virgin Joseph cocktail though.

a reply to: Eshel

Keep on keepin' on gang. And let's hope this guy has a son that comes out of the closet the same day he gets a job as a waiter.

This actually happened to a homophobic minister in Washington, DC.

I remember watching him go off on some kind of a bizarre tirade about gays on a TV newscast. About a year later his son either came out, or was outted by someone else. I nearly crapped my pants from laughing so hard.

I talked with one of his parishioners some time after that. It turns out he significantly softened his stand on LGBT issues.

Karma is a bitch sometimes.


-dex