It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

A problem is emerging in our social paradigm

page: 3
11
<< 1  2    4 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:17 PM
link   

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: TheMZA




It WILL work in the long run, when you are 35-40 one of these women will finally want that "nice guy" to help raise her kids when she is done trying to land the kind of guy she really wants.


Someone who isn't living in fantasy land.


Welp, I'm (not) screwed




posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:18 PM
link   

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: TheMZA




It WILL work in the long run, when you are 35-40 one of these women will finally want that "nice guy" to help raise her kids when she is done trying to land the kind of guy she really wants.


Someone who isn't living in fantasy land.


Here is some advice for now, never ever ever ever EVER take women advice from women. It is a natural fact that women hate each other.
Be in charge and do your thing



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:25 PM
link   

originally posted by: toysforadults
Here's a problem.

Women force men to be the aggressors in relationships.

Yes it's true, if you are not aggressive with women you will be alone forever. Also, many many women play this game where even though they want you they pretend they don't. It's a slut (I know this abrasive and I don't slut shame or judge others for their choices but it's the best way to explain this idea) denial defense mechanism.


Women HATE responsibility, they will do anything to avoid it. They want to be picked up when they are looking for a partner.



My question here is, is it possible that if women stop this game of cat and mouse that a by product of this change would be men being less aggressive socially towards women and probably in general?


Women are incapable to stop this "game", its their nature. They can't stop because for the most part women hold the power of sex. The way it works is that every woman knows she could go out onto the street and ask for sex from any guy she wants and she could get it but that is not what they want, they WANT to be perused. Men on the other hand basically have to convince a woman that they are worth sleeping with. This is how it works and it will never change.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:25 PM
link   
a reply to: TheMZA

I know the game, this isn't about me.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:29 PM
link   
Some of us ladies are just obtuse.

I genuinely liked guys. Still do. Like them better than other women.

But I also tended to operate from the position that I was not physically attractive. As a result, I always assumed that any guy who was chatting me up was doing it from a friendly perspective out of common interest and not because he was interested in anything else.

Yes, I was naive, but while I had tons of confidence in my intellectual abilities and my athletic skills. I had had so little interest romantically and had had enough guys tell me flat out I was ugly, that I had no confidence in my looks. So there you are.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:44 PM
link   
a reply to: ketsuko

I see. So many women are insecure and that's why they want to be pursued.

Meanwhile women who know they are attractive have to be almost literally insulted before they become attracted to you.

How weird is that?



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:46 PM
link   
* Women marry the wealthiest guy their looks can attract; men get the most attractive woman they can afford.
* Sex is much more expensive for women than men in terms of health risks and potential pregnancy. Men can always pretty much "hit it and quit it."
* Having and raising babies is a full-time job and while there are a few women who can "have it all" (i.e. rich white women), most women need a guy to help. There is also a loud time clock ticking.
* Women are attracted to confident guys, because it suggests that they may be able to use that confidence to be successful ($$$). They may also want to subconsciously pass that along to their offspring.
* Women dress to attract this kind of guy, not all guys.
* Women ultimately make the choice, regardless of their intelligence or skill in making that choice. We no longer force women into relationships and marriages (generally).
* Approximately 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce.

These things really haven't changed at all, regardless of the latest media frenzy. So, knowing these things to be true, what is your strategy as a guy? That's right! Work hard and be successful and confident, and get to know as many women as possible. Join a class or go to some other events where there are lots of women of the type you think you would like to know. They're listed on the Internet.

And if that doesn't work... lower your standards.
edit on 30-11-2017 by Blue Shift because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:47 PM
link   
a reply to: toysforadults

I didn't say I wanted to be pursued.

I just said I wasn't expecting it. My default was not that some guy was looking for romance, only looking to be friendly.

But I'm a strange woman who prefers to hang out with guys and always has, not because I think I'm some man trapped in a woman's body but because I like guys better. They're usually more honest and do things that are more fun.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:49 PM
link   
a reply to: ketsuko

Hmmm. Interesting. Oddly enough most of my friends are women except my training partners but that's because I can't stand the alpha contest men seem to always be wanting to engage in I have wayyyyy to much going on to be dealing with any nonsense and women tend to be more relaxed.

They do have total control over the social paradigm weather they want to admit it or not because like another poster said all men want to sleep with them. That gives them a lot of control and if they decide collectively they want something else men will conform to it.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 06:51 PM
link   
a reply to: TheMZA

I disagree with the statement that it's by nature, I think we make a choice culturally.

There have been many cultural changes that have manifest different social constructs over time this is just the one we are dealing with right now.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 07:58 PM
link   
I've had lots of sex in my life so far... And in EVERY SINGLE INSTANCE, I repeat, EVERY. SINGLE. INSTANCE... it was initiated by the girl. I've never in my life been in any way pushy about that sort of thing. I don't ever even so much as hint at it or allude to it. Literally never. So I always find it funny when women complain about how "all men want is sex", when in my personal experience, it's been largely the opposite. I kid you not, one time I had a girl who I'd never even met before in my life walk up and get in my car and start grabbing me and asking if I wanted to you-know-what.
Personal story... At one time I was hanging out with this girl who would come over all the time for sex (even when she had a boyfriend). She was all into the whole being tied up/slapped around/handcuffed thing. She loved it. One night she came over and we're doing the usual thing, nothing different, when all the sudden she starts shaking and crying and freaking out. I was just standing there trying to figure out what was going on, when out of nowhere, she says something along the lines of "my brother touched me like that when I was younger".
Took her straight home.

But yeah, it's unfortunately all a game. I've tried playing it both ways... Bad boy with shaved head and tattoos that's overly confident while emotionally distant and the nice guy that's interested in having a serious relationship and honest about his feelings... Guess which one never ever resulted in a relationship?

You know what I, as a guy, actually find refreshing? When a girl doesn't care about sex. At all. Why? Because I don't either. Every single time in my life I've had sex, it's because the girl made it very clear that she wanted to. I'd rather have a relationship based on feelings (yes, I'm a guy and I have feelings, god forbid) where sex actually means something. All of the most meaningful relationships I've had with girls didn't include sex. I miss the simpler times when love was pure.
edit on 11/30/2017 by trollz because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:05 PM
link   
a reply to: trollz




never ever resulted in a relationship?


let me guess... the nice guy???

weird isn't it?



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:13 PM
link   

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: ketsuko
Meanwhile women who know they are attractive have to be almost literally insulted before they become attracted to you.

How weird is that?


With some women who are attractive and are used to being chased by guys, rejecting them is a huge surprise and makes them think something is wrong with themselves, so then they become interested in the guy who rejected them as a means to gain the approval they're used to and make up for whatever perceived flaw they think the guy saw in them.
Women are competitive. When you reject an attractive woman, she'll usually wonder why.
This actually isn't a female thing, it's applicable to males and females both. It's just psychology.
edit on 11/30/2017 by trollz because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:19 PM
link   
a reply to: TheMZA

Nothing could be more true in America today than what you have written.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:20 PM
link   
a reply to: trollz

I've been told I want a cold emotionless robot (by people here), because the women I'm generally interested in don't want a family, do want a career, and don't want a sex based relationship. A Frank Underwood marriage would be perfect for me.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:22 PM
link   

originally posted by: toysforadults
a reply to: trollz




never ever resulted in a relationship?


let me guess... the nice guy???

weird isn't it?


It depends on their stage of life. Tell someone you're in IT or CS and they'll lose interest fast. Actually talk to them and they will too. If they're not interested, then why worry about it... move on.



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:27 PM
link   
a reply to: Aazadan




Actually talk to them and they will too


I know if you try to have a real genuine conversation your are the same typical guy they meet everyday. I stopped trying that years ago.

Now I just make fun of them and they love it it's so weird. I honestly don't like it but I really did just decide that relationships aren't worth the trouble.

This is what I am talking about. Imagine if it was the other way around how would that impact our culture?
edit on 30-11-2017 by toysforadults because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:28 PM
link   
a reply to: toysforadults

So instead of accepting that you were average and that you weren't interesting, you switched over to negging because it gets an easy score, usually at the cost of a healthy relationship?



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:30 PM
link   
a reply to: Aazadan

Well I'm far from average trust me. Now that I am taking 15-18 credits a semester AND working full time I don't have the time and effort for it. Besides... they don't want it!!!! They want to be negged and made fun of!!!!

That's what's insane!!

Actually my theory is that it's an evolutionary trait. If you study history one of the things you realize that most of human history is war, conquering and rape.
edit on 30-11-2017 by toysforadults because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:33 PM
link   

originally posted by: toysforadults
This is what I am talking about. Imagine if it was the other way around how would that impact our culture?


I talk to plenty of women every day. Some are interested in me, some aren't. Just be a genuine human being and talk to people you're sharing an interest with. Sometimes there's a spark, other times there's not. Approaching it as a game where the object is to score might get you a bit more sex, but a lot less actual relationships. And that in my mind plays a big factor in why out divorce rate is too high.

It's up to your priorities I guess. But when you're old and giving advice to generations that haven't been born yet. What values do you want to pass on? That you're aggressive, and always go right for the sex, or that you were genuinely getting to know people and forming bonds?



new topics

top topics



 
11
<< 1  2    4 >>

log in

join