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originally posted by: SprocketUK
a reply to: tetra50
Thanks for sharing what must be some pretty awful memories.
I don't think there is anything one can say in defence of the things people have put you through.
We are all sullied by the existence of those men you describe and I'd venture some of the negativity you experience in this thread is born of the shame of association with these creeps.
originally posted by: SR1TX
a reply to: tetra50
I worked once at an Auto Parts store in my earlier years, must have been 16 - 17 at the time, an older, attractive girl that I worked with of a rowdy type, slapped me while I was helping someone on the phone with a mean right hook on the right rear cheek, she was 22.
I feel I was assaulted, I didn't have anyone to tell or run to. There were no cameras and I was the only guy she showed a sort of different kind of attention to. Who would have believed me.
Fast forward to now and, o yeah I still don't give a S***, she was hot.
This lesson in perspective was free.
originally posted by: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
a reply to: seagull
I must be missing a vital part of the puzzle, from your post I translated that you were ragging on men.
My bad, I base my replies on past experiences, I'm likely a bit erked at you telling me to keep it civil when I thought I was.
I'm only human and I screw up. Which sux because my aim is to be neutral, fair to say I often fall short of my goals.
originally posted by: SprocketUK
a reply to: tetra50
Thanks, I know it ain't rare. My mum told me some awful stories and my wife, who is a very strong person also told me stuff from before we were together that still gets me in a rage.
She knows she only has to point out the blokes if she wants.
I'm undern o illusions that my daughter will have to rely on her mental strength at various points in her life either.
It's just a bit sad it's still like it, even if it's mostly better these days.
originally posted by: SprocketUK
a reply to: tetra50
Women talking and us men listening are the only things that change this.
Hell, reading some stuff on this site made me cringe at my younger self's behavior at times. I'm sure I wouldn't have been nearly such a nob back then if I'd have understood things better.
This issue being up front will make some difference to current kids and that is a massive step forward.
Funny thing about my wife, she said she wouldn't put up with anything now, partly because she has confidence to challenge it and partly because she has the nuclear option to fall back on.
originally posted by: seagull
a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
Nothing shaken. Or not much, anyway...it's late, and, well let's just say this ain't a pleasant topic for late night chat. I should have been a bit clearer... Mea culpa.
This sort of thing is, as Sprocket said above, not a rare occurrence. ...and since all too many people give it short shrift, as you thought I had, little is said, and less done.
It takes courage to speak out, and try to shine a light on a subject that the vast majority find disturbing. The OP is to be applauded for speaking out.
I find it, as a male of the species, reprehensible that any male, I won't call 'em a man because there's more to being a man than having external tackle, would think this acceptable behavior.
I, myself, have only witnessed something like this twice in my 50 plus years--both times things got...interesting, shall we say.
To me, though, this is feeding into a generalized perversion in this world where a hegelian dialectic and the more sociopathic you are, the more successful you can become in a capatalistic driven "empire."
Enlightenment, understood in the widest sense as the advance of thought, has always aimed at liberating human beings from fear and installing them as masters. Yet the wholly enlightened earth is radiant with triumphant calamity.
originally posted by: tetra50
originally posted by: SprocketUK
a reply to: tetra50
Women talking and us men listening are the only things that change this.
Hell, reading some stuff on this site made me cringe at my younger self's behavior at times. I'm sure I wouldn't have been nearly such a nob back then if I'd have understood things better.
This issue being up front will make some difference to current kids and that is a massive step forward.
Funny thing about my wife, she said she wouldn't put up with anything now, partly because she has confidence to challenge it and partly because she has the nuclear option to fall back on.
LOL@your wife in a good way, totally. I know exactly how to handle this kind of thing today, too. But sadly, young, shy and looking to please people around me, and shamed by this attention and the reaction when I sought help, taught me to internalize the shame and blame myself. I am 55, as I said before. I live in an urban, "hood," environment. As an adult I've been taken advantage of in something of the same way; but a big clue to that: They had to drug me by offering me a drink I trusted too much to take a sip of. The point of that bit of information is fully aware, no one would dare do what they did to me at fourteen.
But, for the reasons many of us have pointed out here, this needs to be discussed as uncomfortable as it is, for obvious reasons. Do we want our species to continue to be represented in this manner? And for all the women receiving flack for coming forward now, no matter who it's about, the true point is it's hardly a rare occurrence. And at a certain age, for many of us, it was more expected and encountered, than not.
I rely upon men like you, Sprocket, and Seagull, who are willing to hear that out without being defensive just because you're the gender I'm talking about.....because that doesn't mean I'm talking about YOU. We have instincts, biological wiring, and then we have the ability to reason. Just because you may even desire something, doesn't mean you have to act upon that desire.
Again, thanks for reading, taking seriously and participating in this thread.
tetra50
originally posted by: burgerbuddy
#metoo.
What if the guys will just start coming out and confessing to sexual harassment and assault without anyone accusing them.
I wonder how that would go over?