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Predictions & Prophecies for 2018

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posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 04:52 PM
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Yes, it's that time of year. . . again.

I looked at last years predictions that I made and was 10 for 10. Don't bother checking, I already did. Just trust me, I am always right with these predictions.

I will offer, once again, free of charge, my predictions for 2018 using my Nostradamus-powers like an X-Man. Even though The Avengers never return my calls. Stuck up bastards.

Feel free to offer yours.


Prediction List. . . .

10. The next installment of the James Bond 007 franchise will feature a woman in the starring role. Her name? Clinton. Chelsea Clinton.

9. Speaking of Clintons, Hillary will be found in early summer riding a lawnmower topless waving a half-empty bottle of gin at drivers on Interstate I-95. She'll be in the north-bound lanes.

8. A Millenial AI is created but the world will remain safe because it won't leave it's cyber-Moms basement and get a job.

7. Super Bowl LII will be televised on PBS. If anyone is still interested.

6. Nancy Pelosi will lose her seat in the House to Bowie Bergdahl.

5. It will become warm in the northern hemisphere during the summer months causing alarm and cries of global warming. It should die down around October.

4. Carl Finkleberg will start identifying as the worlds richest man. He will rule the planet for only 3 hours then someone will slap him and tell him to stop it.

3. My milkshakes will still bring boys to the yard.

2. After all the sexual abusers are kicked out of Hollywood, seven guys (all named Derek) will be making films. They will be Chinese bootlegs copied in their mom's basement.

1. Apple will introduce the iPhone XI. It will be made from hard plastic, be attached to a line built in your home, and the talking/listening portion of the phone will be attached to the dial base by a long coiled cord.


Well, that's it folks. Another 10 out of 10, as you all would agree.





posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 04:54 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

No way to top that.

Hysterical



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 04:55 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
Yes, it's that time of year. . . again.

I looked at last years predictions that I made and was 10 for 10. Don't bother checking, I already did. Just trust me, I am always right with these predictions.

I will offer, once again, free of charge, my predictions for 2018 using my Nostradamus-powers like an X-Man. Even though The Avengers never return my calls. Stuck up bastards.

Feel free to offer yours.


Prediction List. . . .

10. The next installment of the James Bond 007 franchise will feature a woman in the starring role. Her name? Clinton. Chelsea Clinton.

9. Speaking of Clintons, Hillary will be found in early summer riding a lawnmower topless waving a half-empty bottle of gin at drivers on Interstate I-95. She'll be in the north-bound lanes.

8. A Millenial AI is created but the world will remain safe because it won't leave it's cyber-Moms basement and get a job.

7. Super Bowl LII will be televised on PBS. If anyone is still interested.

6. Nancy Pelosi will lose her seat in the House to Bowie Bergdahl.

5. It will become warm in the northern hemisphere during the summer months causing alarm and cries of global warming. It should die down around October.

4. Carl Finkleberg will start identifying as the worlds richest man. He will rule the planet for only 3 hours then someone will slap him and tell him to stop it.

3. My milkshakes will still bring boys to the yard.

2. After all the sexual abusers are kicked out of Hollywood, seven guys (all named Derek) will be making films. They will be Chinese bootlegs copied in their mom's basement.

1. Apple will introduce the iPhone XI. It will be made from hard plastic, be attached to a line built in your home, and the talking/listening portion of the phone will be attached to the dial base by a long coiled cord.


Well, that's it folks. Another 10 out of 10, as you all would agree.



Baaahaahaahaha!

Not sure on number 3 though....



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 04:57 PM
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I'm thinking we will have a few terrorist events on Black Friday, there are a lot of people lined up at stores out shopping early in the morning. It sometimes gets terrorizing as it is when you go into the store without an ISIS event. It would be a perfect situation for someone to mow down a bunch of people in a line with a car.

Hopefully no terrorists see my post, I will have relatives out there in those lines.

It isn't really as risky now as before, Black Friday seems to start a week or two before Thanksgiving, thank god for greedy corporations, they may save our people by making them broke by Black Friday.

Warm around here in the Summer, that would be a miracle.
edit on 19-11-2017 by rickymouse because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 04:58 PM
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Don't know about the rest of them, however #9 - That is some funny #, and #7...
It won't happen, but should.



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:02 PM
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The Duke of Edinburgh will die...



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:04 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Theyll only come true if written in neat little quatrains, all cryptic like.
Archaic language gives more gravitas.

Better still, incorporate them into a crossword puzzle so we feel like the smart ones once we figured it out.



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:05 PM
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Hmmm....

I think Merkel will fart at the G-20, but Trump will smell it, so it will become his fault.

Speaking of faults, there will be a large earthquake ... somewhere.



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:11 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

I made an adjustment for you.


3. My unduluating flab brings all the freaks to the shed.






posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:11 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Ok......WTH?!


3. My milkshakes will still bring boys to the yard. 

Is this some pizzagate BS?



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:15 PM
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a reply to: rickymouse

See now you're the reason I didn't want to come into the thread. I'm sick to death of hearing of the 'Big One' - especially since I'm living smack dab where the bloody Cascadia is due to hit...

I sure hope you're wrong...thought I'm thinking you're...never mind.

Happy New Year!



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:16 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

You have milk shakes? What flavor?



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:17 PM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy

9. Speaking of Clintons, Hillary will be found in early summer riding a lawnmower topless waving a half-empty bottle of gin at drivers on Interstate I-95. She'll be in the north-bound lanes.


WRONG!!!

How Dare You??!?!



She'll have a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon.



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:21 PM
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a reply to: IgnoranceIsntBlisss

It won't matter.

Nothing will come of it no matter what alcohol it is (Doc Collier Moonshine for the record) because it will quickly be determined she didn't intend to do anything wrong.


(post by knowledgehunter0986 removed for a serious terms and conditions violation)

posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:37 PM
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Trump will start using Boehner's brand of spray tan so that he can become bigger, oranger, even angrier than ever.



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:37 PM
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off-topic post removed to prevent thread-drift


 



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:44 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy




The next installment of the James Bond 007 franchise will feature a woman in the starring role.

Everyone already knows that this is going to happen.




Super Bowl LII will be televised on PBS. If anyone is still interested.

This is also something that people can see coming but my guess is not for another 5 years or so.




It will become warm in the northern hemisphere during the summer months causing alarm and cries of global warming. It should die down around October.

that's a fail for me here in florida. Its been 70+ all oct and nov and yesterday it got up to 77 and it rained. Not a normal fall for me and I have lived here all my life.




My milkshakes will still bring boys to the yard.

Mine are better than yours.




After all the sexual abusers are kicked out of Hollywood, seven guys (all named Derek) will be making films. They will be Chinese bootlegs copied in their mom's basement.

Don't even joke, the destruction of hollywood would bring our society to and end. Imagine if all the zombies suddenly had no television to watch, no movies to go and see. They would be so board they might vote!



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:46 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

But but but , where was hutch622 wins 40,000,000 on xlotto . Oh well perhaps next year .
edit on 19-11-2017 by hutch622 because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 19 2017 @ 05:57 PM
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My pridictions for 2018.

1. The left will win back the house and senate and will act extremely obnoxious and childish about it till 2020 when a republican (not trump) wins the presidency again.

2. Every women in america will accuse every man in america of sexual harassment, and each and every case will be found to be true.

3. Solar panels with an 80% energy transfer rate will be made so cheaply that the last remaining coal companies will switch to making them and revitalize our middle class.

4. A super corrupt women will be elected to some office just because she is female. Her corruption will not be found out for many years after.

5. China makes a deal with north korea that puts an end to the nuke program for good. North korea still a dictatorship.

6. The new syrian prince is murdered in his sleep.

7. The aca gets another spike in membership. Congress no closer to repeal.

8. Tax reform bill is passed, out look uncertain.

9. Most earth like planet ever found.

10. marijuana is legalized in the state of florida.



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