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Mean kids

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posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:13 PM
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a reply to: TonyS

Ours is riding the bus.

Of course, most of the kids on the bus are right on our street corner and it takes them 15 minutes to get to school. So it's not like the bus ride is overly long.

Between our neighbor across the street and me, I know there are at least two sets of parental eyes on the kids at the buss stop too until it shows up and the neighbor across the street is a decent guy with a good family, fire fighter. Kids can wait inside their door on days with bad weather.

Not terribly risky riding that bus. All the kids are constantly coming home with good behavior rewards off the bus.

As far as dealing with mean kids, every parent has to cope with helping their kids through it. Ours has the double challenge of an auditory disorder, so he misreads social cues super easy and that makes it hard for him to tell what's going on with his peers. Sometimes, he thinks people are making fun of him when they aren't, for example, and he tends to self-ostracize because for him to hear and keep up with what's being said in conversation can be tough.
edit on 15-11-2017 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)




posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:22 PM
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OP, you sound like a great parent!

It's very important that you keep the lines of communication open with your daughter in regard to helping her deal with other kid's behaving meanly, so that she doesn't take 'their' behavior personally.

When my daughter was in elementary school, I regularly talked to her about this sort of thing even when it was only behavior she was witnessing rather than experiencing...

One thing that will help your daughter grow into a compassionate adult (mine is 19 and very caring) is to teach her to try to understand 'why' other kids behave badly -

- for example most bullies (especially very young ones) are being bullied in the home either by parents or older siblings...

As she gets older, you can help your daughter understand that kids who are not nice usually are that way because the people who are supposed to 'care for' them are being 'mean to' them -

- and that's a reason to feel 'sad for' those children, rather than 'mad at' them..



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:27 PM
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a reply to: ketsuko

the bus is no big deal. it is about 5 miles from here to the school and it takes them about 10-12 minutes or so depending on if they get stopped by the train. i was on the fence about it because when she first started my wife was taking her but she asked to ride the bus so we tried it out. despite the asshole next to her she wants to keep riding the bus.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:29 PM
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a reply to: lostgirl

Yes.

Last year one of my kid's friends suddenly morphed into a "mean kid" on him. Well, there was a new baby in the family, and we had to talk all about how sometimes, even though it's super exciting to have a new brother or sister, it's also super hard because it means mommy and daddy have to take a lot of time caring for a new baby. And that his friend was probably feeling bad because he just wasn't ready for that. So it wasn't that his friend didn't like him anymore, it was probably just because his friend was upset and confused by what was going on at home.

I told him to understand and give his friend space but still be a friend and see if his friend didn't go back to being a friend in a week or two.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:32 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears


Choke that kid out man. A little triangle can do wonders for attitude.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:34 PM
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originally posted by: lostgirl
OP, you sound like a great parent!

It's very important that you keep the lines of communication open with your daughter in regard to helping her deal with other kid's behaving meanly, so that she doesn't take 'their' behavior personally.



As she gets older, you can help your daughter understand that kids who are not nice usually are that way because the people who are supposed to 'care for' them are being 'mean to' them -

- and that's a reason to feel 'sad for' those children, rather than 'mad at' them..


thank you

we all talk about everything. i never want/wanted our daughter to feel like she can not talk to us so comms are open.
as the months progress we will get into the why's of kids being little #ers and how not everyone is nice.
right now i am just leaving it at not everyone is nice and not everyone wants to be friends.

as far as feeling sad for them...i see what you are saying and please dont take this wrong but if it were someone being mean to your child then i would be sad. when it is my child i get mad. like i said though the mad feeling wore off almost immediately and it was(and still is) sadness but not for the jerk kid. fr my daughter.
i am sad and i feel bad and it hurts my feelings.

i see how excited my daughter gets when she gives someone something and she was just totally taken back by what this kid did.

i mentioned how my daughter compliments people but i was on my phone so i keep it short. she also gives people things all the time. she has friends all over town and they are all people my age or older and all people she has met through going out with my wife and i.
we go to the same bank and the same grocery store. same gas station etc etc so she has gotten to know people.
she loves to paint and do crafts so we go go the craft store and she gets sun catchers or little wooden lighthouses. she paints them up and puts them on the shelf but when we leave i will tell her what the plan is and if she knows we are stopping at the bank for example she will grab a sun catcher to bring to her 'friend'.
i think it is so sweet and so do they. they lady from the grocery store buys her christmas presents and was at her 5th birthday party. they have seen each other once a week for 5 years.

i just wish it could always be like that for her.
stupid for even wishing i guess



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:37 PM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: TinySickTears


Choke that kid out man. A little triangle can do wonders for attitude.


cant say i thought about that but the thought of snatching ricky bobby(her dad) out of his truck, then arm drag to back take for a good crushing followed by "when my #in kid gives your daughter a picture you hang that # on the fridge"
has crossed my mind



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:41 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

What you really have to worry about is what they don't talk about.

Ours was having problems with a kid at the school this year, and he told no one. We didn't know there was anything going on until he came home without his earpiece (it was in his backpack), but it forced him to admit another kid had tried to pop it out of his ear in the bathroom.

But he said it was a one time thing and he didn't tell his teacher. We called the teacher because we thought the earpiece was out, and they talked about bullying, we talked about bullying and how he should tell adults. Then the very next day, he comes home with a massive goose egg on his forehead. Same kid had caught him in the same bathroom, freaked him out and he'd gone running to try to shut himself into a stall and slipped and cracked his head on a stall door.

That's when it finally comes out that this kid has been sort of picking on him for a while.

Those are the ones you have to worry about.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:46 PM
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You sound like a GREAT parent! Who loves and cares!! Kudos to you!



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:47 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

I'm sorry - I didn't intend you to think that I don't understand being mad about someone hurting your daughter's feelings -

- I totally get how upsetting it can be, because I have dealt with feeling sad and bad for my little girl's sake...your daughter sounds like such a sweetheart!

...mine went thru several experiences of having kids who she dearly loved (and as an only child, they were like sisters in my daughter's heart) suddenly not 'being friends' with her anymore, just because their moms didn't want to be friends with 'me' anymore, so they cut off contact completely!

Anyway, I do get what you're going thru - it is hard to feel your own heart breaking while at the same time working to protect your child's heart from getting 'hammered'..



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 03:50 PM
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originally posted by: TinySickTears
cant say i thought about that but the thought of snatching ricky bobby(her dad) out of his truck, then arm drag to back take for a good crushing followed by "when my #in kid gives your daughter a picture you hang that # on the fridge"
has crossed my mind



That works, but at least throw the kid a noogie.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:03 PM
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originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: TinySickTears

What you really have to worry about is what they don't talk about.

Ours was having problems with a kid at the school this year, and he told no one. We didn't know there was anything going on until he came home without his earpiece (it was in his backpack), but it forced him to admit another kid had tried to pop it out of his ear in the bathroom.

But he said it was a one time thing and he didn't tell his teacher. We called the teacher because we thought the earpiece was out, and they talked about bullying, we talked about bullying and how he should tell adults. Then the very next day, he comes home with a massive goose egg on his forehead. Same kid had caught him in the same bathroom, freaked him out and he'd gone running to try to shut himself into a stall and slipped and cracked his head on a stall door.

That's when it finally comes out that this kid has been sort of picking on him for a while.

Those are the ones you have to worry about.


god damn i wish you would not have mentioned it.
i think about it all the time and it freaks me out.

what you just explained would have caused me to meltdown. i dont think i could emotionally handle it.
i am not a weak person but just thinking about it makes me get very uneasy.
i know it happens.
i feel like i would definitely pull her out of school and go the at home route but i am not convinced it is the right answer.

my mother used to tell me high school was my wonder years and blah blah.
i hated it.
hated junior high and elementary i dont remember much.

i was not bullied but it was happening.

i was just telling my wife the other night that i do not envy our daughter for having to start this journey. it sucks big time.
the flip to that is i want her to care about school because she is so curious and loves school right now. she just got great reviews. having a good time. i want her to continue to enjoy it so she will continue to want to go and continue to learn.
a person could be unlucky and be fug and get picked on in junior high and/or just be surrounded by assholes. hard to want to be in that environment.
its a bummer.
i really dont care for people all that much and would rather it just be the wolfpack but i treat people fair. nice as can be if it is reciprocated and will just turn off if a person is a dick and i could not imagine having to go through school and all that forced social #. what a nightmare.

edit on 15-11-2017 by TinySickTears because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:15 PM
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Teach your kids to fight. THey don't have to be Connor McGregor or anything....but they need to understand how to ball up a fist at least.

Bullies don't like to defend themselves. It almost always only takes a single sock in the nose to stop bullying. And if that fails...i told my kids that eating someones face is a helluva a way to get your point across, and will guarantee that no one bullies you in the future.

There is no such thing as a "fair fight". I've never been against crotch grabs and biting, but then again I've never been one to start a fight.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:18 PM
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originally posted by: bigfatfurrytexan
And if that fails...i told my kids that eating someones face is a helluva a way to get your point across, and will guarantee that no one bullies you in the future.


"Now, son, he may come in and try a one-two combo, but just wrap him up and give him a Hannibal."



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:19 PM
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a reply to: TinySickTears

Sad truth is that they have to face it sooner or later in one form or another. Best you can do is prepare them and let them know you will stand with them as much you can.

Keeping your kids at home with you only puts off that day.

We told ours that some kids just need to feel better by making other people feel bad, and one of the best ways to make sure they don't try it on him would be to make himself as confident as possible. Kids like that don't want someone who will stand up to them. They want someone it will be easy to pick on.

I told him to practice moving with confidence like he means everything he does and eventually they'll be less likely to pick on him.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:46 PM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

More like, "Let them know you will do whatever it takes to end the fight as quickly as you can. Then when they get close enough grab them and bite hard, draw blood"

In high school I could military press almost 400lbs. So i could easily throw your average 120lb guy a few feet down the hall. My kids could not.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:49 PM
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a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan


I totally get it, and I do agree with the 'no fair fight' statement you made. I just pictured you as Mickey telling Rock he had to catch that chicken.

And then bite its head off.





edit on 15-11-2017 by AugustusMasonicus because: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 04:58 PM
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a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan

Exactly.

1. Don't look like a victim.

2. Don't act like a victim.

And if 1 and 2 aren't enough:

3. Don't be a victim when they get around to you.



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 05:01 PM
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originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: bigfatfurrytexan


I totally get it, and I do agree with the 'no fair fight' statement you made. I just picutred you as Mickey telling Rock he had to ctach that chicken.

And then bite its head off.


Sitting here on a conference call laughing uncontrollably while I reach for the mute button



posted on Nov, 15 2017 @ 05:58 PM
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How about a nice, neatly folded note handed casually to the kid informing her of the fact that Santa Claus isn't real and that her parents have been lying to her for her whole life?
edit on 15-11-2017 by BiffWellington because: (no reason given)



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