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Is It Now Considered “Sexual Misconduct” to Ask For Sex?

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posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 06:40 PM
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a reply to: solargeddon




Is there ever an instance of sexual harrassment when the woman is attracted to the male making advances?


It's happened to me, and I'm sure it's happened to others. You have a crush on a guy , then he makes a very inappropriate
scummy come on or tries to cop a feel at a party and the crush is off !




posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 07:08 PM
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a reply to: Sheye

I get what you saying, though again it depends on what they did, how they did it, some of the best looking men in this world are the worst lay (I haven't road tested them obviously) if the old saying is anything to go by, rough gist those with looks tend to be a sack of crap in the bedroom, by extention they could just as easily be awkward and over compensating for not knowing how to treat a girl right.

It doesn't make it right but then you just move on, unless they have done something serious such as force themselves upon you despite withdrawing your consent.

There was a guy I met a couple of years ago, not a crush but he was worth seeing more, who ot so blind drunk and leechy I decide it was time to go...he dared to try and stop me, though he was so drunk I don't thnk he really knew what he was doing, I just assertive myself and left, ultimately I don't think he knew how to handle himself or his drink and whilst drink cannot be the excuse the fragility of males does exist, I enuinely think sometimes they are led to believe they are meant to behave a certain way, or think they are doing nothing wrong and don't realise.

I think it happens more than we think and I would imagine accounts for some of the stories that have come out in recent weeks, Weinstein and Spacey are exceptions and have a case to answer to based on what I have read, there may be more, though to be honest I have tried to ignore a lot of it because at this rate we could go extinct.



posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 07:12 PM
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a reply to: solargeddon



I enuinely think sometimes they are led to believe they are meant to behave a certain way, or think they are doing nothing wrong and don't realise.

Role models. Right?

Perhaps the more it is discussed, rather than suppressed, the better.



posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 07:55 PM
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I heard the same thing as you, O.P., I am no fan of sexual abuse, but it seems like the criteria are getting to the point where a woman could even say yes and then call it abuse later on. Who knows what it could be like in the future.


“He was a comedian they admired,” The Times writes. “The women would be together. His intentions seemed collegial. As soon as they sat down in his room, still wrapped in their winter jackets and hats, Louis C.K. asked if he could take out his penis, the women said.

“They thought it was a joke and laughed it off. ‘And then he really did it,’ Ms. Goodman said in an interview with The New York Times. ‘He proceeded to take all of his clothes off, and get completely naked, and started masturbating.’”


Deadline Hollywood



posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 08:29 PM
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originally posted by: darkbake
I heard the same thing as you, O.P., I am no fan of sexual abuse, but it seems like the criteria are getting to the point where a woman could even say yes and then call it abuse later on. Who knows what it could be like in the future.


It's no different than a band groupie. There exists a power imbalance, and therefore one party isn't of sound mind to consent. The music industry has just been more tolerant of it.



posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 09:00 PM
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a reply to: Metallicus

Sure sure it's all about that CK creep huh, sounds to me like you're just trying to provide cover for the latest Republican pedophile.



"How do we avoid unsubstantiated accusations for behavior from 40 years ago from derailing careers?"
Metallicus said




“To think that grown women would wait 40 years... to bring charges is absolutely unbelievable,”
Moore said.





I am frustrated and confused.


Yes I bet you both are.

K~



posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 09:05 PM
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a reply to: Aazadan

I feel like we are approaching this point too. I have made the joke to several friends that...are we now at the point that you must CLEARLY without a doubt get consent before(as in...if she's making out with me, feeling me up, is that enough for me to put my hand on her?), and if you hear a different moan or sound, revalidate that we should continue?

I believe the entire #MeToo thing has gotten to the point of downplaying the problem that is RAPE CULTURE in western society, a culture which is demonstrated in music, cinemas and pornography. There does not seem to be enough attention to the fact that if you put on music video's you will see rape culture and objectification of women repetitively.

Steven Segal asked a girl to sit on his face and unzipped his pants with another, MSM will ruin his career over it, same with Louis CK. Neither of these men have been accused of rape. Yet, the poor women(and some men) who have been raped in their lives(you know...sexual ASSAULT) are practically now being thrown into the same bucket as the girl who was drunk, made out with a guy who squeezes her butt. I do not want to excuse fondling a woman without consent, but is it just me or has it all been thrown into one big old bucket?

P.S. I have not read all the posts here so I may be repeating what others have mentioned.

P.S.2: #MeToo will hopefully bring change. I do not want to downplay a lot of the horrifying things that have come out with this movement.
edit on 11-11-2017 by UndeadWarrior because: added ps2



posted on Nov, 11 2017 @ 10:31 PM
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If there's no flirtation background in the workplace, it's probably a better idea to skip outright asking. Maybe start with a dinner date offer, and see where it goes from there, it's just common sense (it's how I snagged my better half, it works)

However, perceptions & established patterns being what they are, if it's a bar or club setting, "Hey sexy, wanna screw?" is not exactly inappropriate in one to me. I'm not a fan of the bar scene at all, drunken horny toads of both genders are not something I want to socialize with in public. Drunk people in general are not something I was to socialize with in public. My perception is based off the sex score cards of people I know who do the bars/clubs crap, in that they've illustrated extremely consistently that if you're out to get smashed, you're highly likely out to "meet people", i.e hook up & get laid, too.

As a slightly related note, you all should check out the amateur erotica out there on non-con sex. Women write up huge amounts of stories about sexual pressuring fantasies (deliberately ignoring rape fantasies for thread context) You'd almost think they actually get off on the concept more than they let on.



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 03:42 AM
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Do liberals ever quit their whining,their solution for everything,make a law against it,then when they make the law it's got some other excuse to complain,liberals love misery,thing called common sense,people can take care of themselves



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 06:51 AM
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edit on 12-11-2017 by JarridSinn because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 06:53 AM
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edit on 12-11-2017 by JarridSinn because: (no reason given)



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 06:56 AM
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originally posted by: melatonin
Sometimes, instead of speaking you may want to listen.

If the women involved are telling you that they found it abusive, inappropriate, invasive and extremely creepy. (or whatever the specific suggestions are).. you may want to wonder why they see it that way, rather than try to suggest there really was no problem.

However, perhaps you can mansplain why being perceived as a sexual creep is not being a sexual creep. I'm sure women everywhere will be hanging on your insight (:


So are you saying that what ever we perceive IS. That is a great thought. So if I perceive a good act as evil (eg. giving money to the poor, and destitute) then it is evil.
Will it work both ways , in all honesty. If I perceive sarcasm as an offense against me, even if it is not directed against me, is it?
Very tough questions and issues. Hopefully anyone that harms another is punished for the harm.



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:00 AM
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originally posted by: CulturalResilience
If you have to ask for sex you don't deserve to get it.


Wow so what should you do?



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:01 AM
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originally posted by: UndeadWarrior
Steven Segal asked a girl to sit on his face and unzipped his pants with another, MSM will ruin his career over it...


If you've ever seen any of his films you'll come to the sole realization that the only person who ruined Steven Seagal's career is Steven Seagal.





edit on 12-11-2017 by AugustusMasonicus because: networkdude has no beer



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:05 AM
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originally posted by: Whereismypassword
If you guys can’t read someone’s body language you have problems


So rather than being perfectly clear let's guess, and hope we get it right. I guess everyone's body language is clear, so everyone knows what everyone lese wants without words.



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:06 AM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

*snicker snicker*

You used "Steven Seagal" and "career" in the same sentence.




posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:08 AM
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originally posted by: CranialSponge
*snicker snicker*

You used "Steven Seagal" and "career" in the same sentence.




Right? Like that squinty-eyed, essential oil-wearing creeper ever had one.



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:13 AM
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a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

And I don't doubt for a minute his favourite essential oil of choice is patchouli.



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:16 AM
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originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Metallicus

We are now punishing people based on accusations and not proof, but in situations where proof is impossible, what else can we do?



So you go into a department store, look around for a little while, walk out and a day later someone says they saw you steal something. Should you go to jail? Is the "burden of proof", "innocent until proven guilty" nothing, or only nothing when it fits our needs?
Maybe the religions that have a separation of the sexes is right.



posted on Nov, 12 2017 @ 07:21 AM
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So when did the liberals turn so conservative or is this just the backfire of what they started and they are steam rolling with it. My thought is if it didn't bother you for over 5 years it really didn't bother you.





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