posted on Feb, 11 2005 @ 04:57 PM
Myn The Merciless
We arrived in London on the BA flight. At least I'm fairly sure it was the BA flight; I don't arrange it. This was the first tour of our band, the
We all got on the bus that was waiting for us outside the terminal.
"It's like 'eaven in 'ere!" Disastar exclaimed as he looked around the bus, filled wall to wall with woman and booze. He's right- it IS Heaven!
"Hang on, I need to go for a slash." That was Astral Arse. "Oi put it away, man!" I yelled. He was p***ing all over the floor! "I hope you're
gonna clean that mess up." It was Myn the Merciless. She was cold. Damn cold. We were s*it scared of her, and we didn't even get half the sh*t the
"Yes, Myn, o o o o of course."
"Good. Now sit down." Arse sat down quickly. We knew not to mess with Myn.
I quickly poured myself a double Scotch. When I say poured, I mean from the bottle into my mouth. I saw the other guys get into the booze and bourbon,
"Fark, what's the time?" asked Babyphat. "Nine in the morning" I replied. "Fark. I'm far overdue for a bird. 'Ello there, lovely," he crooned
to the groupie next to him.
They soon became aqquianted in the best traditions of Rock.
It didn't take long for us to reach our destination- the Hilton.
"Hello, sirs," the Manager greeted us in the lobby. "P*ss off!" Disastar screamed. "Yeah, you kn*b." I added.
He looked thunderstruck. Ah well. Sh*t happens when you mess with the best.
"Here, do something with this." I handed him my now empty bottle, now refilled with my own p*ss. That's the way the Rock lifestyle goes; one moment
you're in a bus, the next you're handing a bottle of your urine to a stranger.
Wandering up to our rooms, we quickly established the location of the mini bar. Hell, we wern't paying for it! From next door I could hear the sounds
of smashing. I walked out to my balcony. Suddenly, a TV flew through the window of the room next to me. Disastar appeared out of the window.Babyphat
had turned up next to me. "What the f*ck are you doing?" he yelled over. "Nothing on, mate!" "Fair enough then!"
"Hey, Canon Balls, lets hit the pub" Arse said to me. "Yeah alright. You lot coming?"
"Too bloody right!"
"Can't see why not."
We were in agreement, then. To the pub.
"Wait a moment, I need to have a p*ss," I told them. I unleashed myself from the balcony. I'm not sure what the people fifteen stories below would
have thought, having had a TV and then human waste raining down upon them. Haha. Pun.
In a half drunken stumble we made our way to the hotel bar. Myn had vanished for the moment. She often did that. We like to think she's arranging
"Oi, you. What time's the boozer open eh?" Babyphat cordially asked the Manager.
"But it's 9.30 already!"
"I'm sure we can make an exception."
We exchanged looks. He would probably regret that decision later.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Note: The characters of this story of excess and Rock are all based on real people from ATS. They know who they are and can sound off if they like.