Smog check

A lab tried to hump me today. I was waiting around to get a smog check. Dude has dog in the front office. Okay, he likes pets. He's a sweet dog. Wow he's very enthusiastic. Pet, pet, pet. Yes you can give me kisses. Okay, but off, off, OFF!
Yes, you go over there now. I don't even like dogs, so go away.

Okay you are being sweet and friendly again I will give you pets.

(Jar of treats on the counter.)

Okay, doggo you want a treat? Good boy!

OFF! OFF! OFFFF!

Yeah I'm waiting outside now.

About got hump-raped by a dog in front of my co-workers today.

Sadly, that's the most affection I've had in a decade, go figure.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha


Dogs are gender neutral, what the hells wrong with you!

It might be that sexual abuse charges are in order.

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
It might be that sexual abuse charges are in order.

....You think I got a case?

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
Sure. If you follow that old surfer slang just catch the wave. It's gaining momentum right now and there's no telling how far it will go. Give it a shot..

originally posted by: seeker1963
a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha


Dogs are gender neutral, what the hells wrong with you!

Not if their fur is white.

If you had knelt and given ol Fido oral gratification, you would've really made an impression.

People from my Jr high still talk about my own ...er episode.

a reply to: Baddogma

..............WHAT!?..........

Brother, there is such a thing as too much information.

a reply to: DAVID64



Sheds new light on their username eh?

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Sadly, that's the most affection I've had in a decade, go figure.

Be glad it didn't pee on you, the highest 'compliment'.

Joking aside, dogs playful affection is balm for the soul.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha

Sadly this says more about the dog's owner than the dog.

Plus on a scale of one to horrendous this could have been worse.

a reply to: NarcolepticBuddha
At least you didn't have to change your pants. You could try this in the future:

Really, it reminds me of National Lampoons Christmas Vacation where Eddie tells Clark that Snots is a leg humper and if he starts it, it's best to let him finish.

a reply to: DAVID64

WHAT

Heh, I was kidding... no assaults on dogs (or anything) for me!

I was going to leave it without clarification but then thought "what IF some I day I seek some position and they comb through my post history " and , well, it just wasn't worth it in our Orwellian world ... OR very funny in the first place.. .though at 3 a.m. it made me chuckle.

a reply to: Baddogma

Yeah, yeah. Tryin' to save face now that you outed yourself

Who knows, maybe that post will get you hired somewhere..

The most action you have seen in a year and you turned it down? Maybe you are to picky