Was I sexually assaulted?

I think it all comes down to intent. No reasonable prosecutor would try this case.

originally posted by: NthOther
I think it all comes down to intent. No reasonable prosecutor would try this case.

Thats sexist! Stop normalising male abuse you pig with your womansplaing alliance!

That's one of the great things about being married, i sexually harass my husband all the time.He'd be all involved in something he's watching on YT,and i'd sneak up behind him+ do a hard nipple twist,for instance.Great fun to see him jump and yelp Hilarious fun and he can do nothing about it.

Where does one draw a line in the sand to say hold on a bit? And I don't mean to what people are grabbing!

If ones wife grabs ones pecker without permission is that sexual assault? If so then I get sexually assaulted almost every day and I'm not bragging......much anyway.

If one goes to a club where there are ladies who offer extra services and you are sat with them having a drink and they rub your pecker is that sexual assault or welcomed attention? Like that in Thailand.

When a guy kisses a women in a club and he holds her ass is that considered SA? And if a police officer seas that and they do most nights in town can that officer charge the guy, his hands, regardless? But do they when they should if they were being PC (politically correct) which is what they are.

When I was young and clubbing etc, people grabbed each other all the time but nobody screamed assault of really cared. It wasn't taken too seriously. But now it seams like the slightest suggestion of sexual assault however border line is jumped on. Its like the racism issue, everything has gone too politically correct!!

However, having said this, seriously intentional SA / abuse is out of order!

originally posted by: CryHavoc
So last week I was at a bar and a woman grabbed my ass.

She didn't ask permission.

She just forced it on me.

Was I sexually assaulted?

Theoretically yes.

If it offended or upset you - yes.

If you enjoyed it though...

a reply to: CryHavoc

Yes you were, and if you are upset about it, you should consider getting the police to look into the matter. This behaviour is not acceptable unless it is explicitly invited.

a reply to: CryHavoc

many years ago , well last century to be honest i was part of a bet . Bet was i wouldn't get dressed up as a woman and go to the local disco . Well i wore this nice little slinky outfit ( might be worth mentioning at this stage i had women lining up to dress me right ) Anyways i was groped all night long , married women , single women , uppity women you name it . Was it sexual assault , i guess so but back then i guess things were different , it never crossed my mind . Now the story about accidently taking the ladies next doors silk knickers of the line ( flats ) and wearing them to work , well thats another story .

Yes, if you choose to see that as sexual assault, you would be fully in your rights to do.

You could also laugh it off as harmless fun because you didn't feel injured or threatened.


The key difference is as a guy, you probably didn't feel remotely threatened. You won't have felt this girl who grabbed your ass might have dragged you into an alleyway and raped you, you won't have been worried she was watching you all night, you didn't need to look out for her friends, or worry about her slipping something into your drink.


There are many reasons why this stuff is different when experienced by women compared to men.

originally posted by: CryHavoc
So last week I was at a bar and a woman grabbed my ass.

She didn't ask permission.

She just forced it on me.

Was I sexually assaulted?

If you are straight...then no

If you are gay...then yes

If you are bi...questionable

a reply to: Skywatcher2011

Uh... a person being straight does not affect whether or not they have been touched without their permission or desire to so be touched.

Your response indicates a total lack of understanding of either the law, or the morality which is supposed to underpin it.

a reply to: CryHavoc


Cannot believe no one has asked this yet, was she hot? If so, suck it up.

As a woman this seemingly new definition of sexual assault confuses me. Seriously. I know a lot of responses here are in jest, but I really am confused.

Without wanting to go into great detail, there was a sexual assault incident in my past which left me heavily bruised and was clearly a bad situation. I've moved on but it's just part of my past and maybe shapes the way I would define sexual assault.

But there have been numerous times I've been "grabbed" that I've never once thought of as a sexual assault. Like way back in high school when a guy ran up to me in the hall and grabbed my breast? Like the old guy that grabbed my butt when I was stepping on the bus? Many pinches or feels or rubs here and there. I assume most women have a ton of these stories too, especially if you've ever been on a college campus or in a bar. Never once have I thought of these as "sexual assault"?!

But now I'm hearing all these women coming out and saying the were "sexually assaulted" and I immediately assume it means something similar to what happened to me - an aggressive borderline rape situation, but then I read she's just talking about some guy grabbing her butt.

Maybe I'm just old. (I'm 41 - lol) I am genuinely confused about the definition of sexual asssualt and my mind just cannot recategorize all those past butt or boob grabs as "assault". In my mind they were just gross jerks being gross jerks.

a reply to: fiverx313

So you think men just love being groped by strange women?

Any man you see at the bar is fair game for you to walk by and grab his @ss if you feel like it and he should fully and totally enjoy that because, as you know, it's exactly what all men, every man is just secretly wanting to do to you?

originally posted by: ketsuko
So you think men just love being groped by strange women?

Uh, yeah. But only if they're hawt.

a reply to: VegHead

I tend to agree with you. It doesn't mean you wanted those touches and gropes, but they weren't assault as I think of it. Maybe you could call them harassment, but even then, to me harassment means that one guy was hanging out and copping unwanted feels multiple times. Many times, it was a passing incident. That doesn't make it right to take advantage like that, but doesn't make an assault ... or even a harassment ... but something else.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus



Hey, baby!

a reply to: ketsuko


I've done worse.

Thank you all for your responses.

First I have to say that I love all of the diverse responses. That's what we're here for, right? The discussion? I liked the funny responses, too. Way to go keeping it light. Sorry about bragging, rickymouse.

VegHead - I'm very sorry that happened to you and thank you for responding. I think you hit the point I'm trying to make about the situation being very confusing.

fiverx313 - I'm sorry you felt singled out. It wasn't my intention. You raised a good point asking if it was a serious question or not.

To answer your question: It was a serious question I asked. As serious as being sued or brought up on charges for Sexual Assault.

Originally, I had put this under the Social Issues forum, but somebody moved it. It does belong under Social Issues.

Ok, on with the explaining.

The woman in question, I've known for maybe 14 years or so. But in that time, I've probably seen her in person maybe 10 times. She's on my Facebook, so we say Hi every once in a while. But we don't really talk that much. So she's a distant friend at most. I don't talk to a lot of people online except in discussion groups like this. But we ended up at the same bar last week.

When she grabbed my ass, I was a little surprised, but it definitely put a smile on my face. And she just smiled at me over her shoulder as she walked away.

But it didn't bother me.

But there's really no way she could have known that it didn't bother me until after she'd already done it. Technically, she 'forced' it on me. I was touched without any permission beforehand. Technically.

All this talk in the news about Sexual Assault and Harassment has me wondering about a lot. And several of you brought up a good point or implied that if I were a woman that had this happen to me, there would be a lot more anger and judgement about it.

And if I had done the same thing to a woman? If she liked it, I'm ok. But if she didn't like it? All of a sudden that makes me what? A Letch? A Predator? All the stuff that others are being called on the news? The same exact actions are going to elicit 2 different responses.

Well, I'm not responsible for their response. Just as she wasn't responsible for my response when she grabbed my ass. I'm sure her intention was to be flirty and put a smile on my face - which she did.

If the line in the sand is only whether I liked it or not, I think were going to end up a Society that's afraid to do anything. It seems to me that there has to be some type of harmful intent there for it to be Assault. But I'm hearing otherwise, in some cases.

Of course, anyone with harmful intent should be punished.

What about those without harmful intent?

If the fingers, or a finger, grabbed into the crack, which is near the anus, or anus itself, yes. A ham cheek seperated by the same crack both genders have, is not a sexual organ unless your brainwashed to believe it is.

Was it rude yes.

Younger get offended when patted on the ass. When they get older, they raise an eyebrow and roll their eyes.

a reply to: CryHavoc

But did you feel frightened afterwards? Did rape fearfully cross your mind and was she much larger than you?

That's why most of you can just laugh this off and make light of it. Your sense of safety wasn't compromised.

But yes, if somebody groped you without an understanding of that being okay, that is sexual assault.