Since we are in the business about being open and honest about what abuses we have been through I want to tell you what happened to me.
My ex wife had many issues. I found out at the end of her life that her psychological downfall was because of being abused a s a child. When we were
together we were both very young and wild. She was related to an English Lord (he was a very good man, was not him or her Dad) and I was from a
council estate. She taught me about poetry and the inside out on the establishment. She was very bright and a very good poet. She really actually woke
me up intellectually. However, she was very dark. She was a full on femme fatale.
I have scars on my body still from her. Once she smashed a plate over my head, once she slashed me with a knife on my arm and she poisoned me with
barbiturates and alcohol.
We were splitting up and everything was going manically wrong. We were young and wild. We were drinking a lot and experimenting in many ways. It was
her who turned me on to Bob Dylan and TS Eliot and got me to really understand what they were communicating. She was an amazing woman, my soul mate. I
got very drunk and took something I shouldn't have. She started forcing barbiturates down me. I was out like a light. She later told me all about it
as I did not really remember what she had done. I came round and she said she had called a doctor once she realized it wasn't going to work. She said
that if I had died she was going to tell the authorities and my family that I had killed myself.
Many years later she actually died from what she had done to me. She died from an abuse of prescription drugs and alcohol. She became a very severe
alcoholic as she got older, also bipolar and had regular psychotic episodes. She was like Sylvia Plath. She was a very beautiful woman.
I never told the police. I forgave her. We stayed in contact every few years and slept with each other once or twice down the line. She is the last
woman actually that I did sleep with. She died in 2013.
I managed to survive the crazy times. I am doing fine. I am very young looking and healthy and loving my life and my music in a very humble sense. I
miss her. It is much lonelier now she is no longer upon this earth. Doomed LOVE, very poetic. We were a regular Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.
Despite what she did to me what she gave me exceeded what she took from me. She gave me my intellectual self and my critical conscious self. This may
never have dawned in my soul without her.
Relationships are more complex than we like to believe or would have them be if we view them laterally. They will never be squeaky clean, not where
humans are concerned. Strange gifts come from Pluto's kidnapping. Forgiveness is a path that can heal the worst kind of abuses and sometimes the abuse
is a Shamanic wisdom experience. The tribe would abuse the Shaman to test them and to stress them to the point of vision. The Native American Sun
Dance was a self imposed abuse.
Here is her music:
edit on 16-10-2017 by Revolution9 because: (no reason given)
edit on Mon Oct 16 2017 by DontTreadOnMe because: removed