posted on Oct, 13 2017 @ 03:20 AM
This case caused a bad agument between my husband and I last night.
I ws horrified to hear he'd been listening to jokes and scoffing about it from french people all day.
In his mind (and apparently many here) it was ridiculous for these women to come forward now, when they had to be consenting at the time, perfectly
willing to use their body to get fame and fortune earlier.
I grew up in LA, come from a Hollywood family, I've always been aware of the sleeziness that goes on there, and the very confusing and distressing
mental conflicts people go though when faced with these situations.
It's part of why I ran away from my mothers attempts to get me in the business. A young woman gets enough sexual harrassment in the USA without even
going near that cesspool. I couldn't handle more predators than I already faced daily.
He also did not believe me that it happens a lot to men too - he couldn't understand why, if this is happening against their will, didn't they fight
back harder, go to the police immediately .... murder the man!
I ended up being rather disimissive and saying you can't understand if you've always lived in security (as opposed to freedom) and don't know what it
is like to worry for your survival.
I think I also suffered some some internal struggles do to the sort of education we were fed back then - the necessity for girls to be "nice", the
sexual taboos, the ideas about obeying powerful people (who, in our protestant based values must have gotten there through good ethical behavior and
hard work) being role models .....this made it all very confusing.
Also, our argument led down to the confusion men have on reading women and whether or not they want sex. We ended up comparing french and american
culture again, why french women are bitches and aggressive, why they don't hesitate to get in the face with hostility to men at even the slightest
hint of attention.
They have no value on being nice, they also have no expectations that a man should learn to turn off his sexual drives on his own all the time - it
is up to the individual woman to let him know clearly in the moment that they are not receptive (after all, some women do welcome it, so why should he
turn it off all the time?)
I don't know, it is more complicated than that, like I said. Especially when it comes to men in position of power.
I knew a university professor that was convicted of sexual harrassment with a student, and yet I knew there WAS a lot of sexual activity going on
between students and professors, in which the students seemed to be the initiators.
What everyone seemed to agree on eventually was that even so, it is for the one in power to use better judgement and refuse advances.
I kinda think we all need to also retain some sense of responsibility as well though - completely bowing down to and becoming overly influenced by
people in positions of power shouldn't be encouraged.
But then, I embrace conspiracy theorism and hang out with distrustful rebels, so I would feel that.
But that spark of distrust and refusal to bend the knee might be part of what saved my ass through life.