I don't mean this post as a big "tell all."
It's been a long time since these things happened and I'm not looking for sympathy and I don't need to download anything in order to heal.
But I basically lived a good part of my life dealing with unwanted attention or bad behavior from men. It's something I just accepted and dealt with
and it didn't occur to me to start a revolution over it or call Gloria Steinman.
But this Harvey guy has me thinking. He has me thinking that those experiences weren't right and that perhaps in some way they've damaged some part
of me that I haven't really ever come to terms with.
It almost all happened in the 80's when we were just starting to talk about these kinds of things.
I'm in middle age now, but when I was younger I was very pretty---something I didn't really get or understand except by the reactions Or attention I
received from others. I was a petite, blonde hair, blue-eyed -kind of pretty, but I was also smart and independent which probably kept me out of
trouble for the most part.
But I was sexually harassed by all kinds of people in society---policemen, bosses, parent's friends.
I was pulled over two different times for things---speeding or failure to use a blinker---and propositioned by two different policemen. I was
sexually harassed by three or four different bosses in various jobs, and often asked out by male fellow employees in the workplace who would treat me
poorly thereafter when I turned them down.
One particular instance was this: I accepted a babysitting job from a boss who lived nearby to watch his kids. He was a very visible figure in our
community. He lived down the street from my best friend and their families were friendly.
When he brought me home that night, he locked the doors to the car in front of my house and tried to make the moves. This is someone that I should
have trusted and looked up to at work. To this day, whenever he sees me---rare as it is---he still moves right in, although he's old at this point!
It never occurred to me to tell on him. In my world back then, people like me just accepted that "this is the way things are."
Once I covered a Bill Cosby comedy show for a journalism outfit I was working for and I brought a friend along. You should have seen Bill Cosby trying
to get my friend and I to go out to dinner with him when I went backstage after the concert to interview him.
He followed us around like a puppy dogs for an hour. It was 1983 or 1984 then---and though he was a big star we thought he was gross.
Thank god we didn't go with him. He gave us the creeps.
This week, when I look back on all of this, it has sort of caused me to check in with myself about it. And honestly, a lot of it still makes me
uncomfortable and I realize it has probably influenced my life in ways I'm not even aware of.
Like, how about the 5th grade teacher who always wanted me to sit on his lap? Or the man who lured my friend and I down under a bridge in grade school
and took off his pants?
Fortunately, I managed to toe the line enough to not put myself in any tragic situations, but I think there were a lot of times in my life where I had
to be extremely aware and cautious, had to often question people's intentions and motives or get myself out of dicey situations.
I'm aware that good looking people are often treated differently but I think I shunned that truth for the most part and got by by developing my
intelligence and wits. I hated being treated like a "blonde."
I was a thinker, not just an empty shell, and I think I was always looking for respect---respect that I often had to work really hard for.
I know pretty women often use their looks for advantage---always have. But just as often, they've spent a lifetime asking to be taken seriously in a
culture that preys upon them.
I think it's time for some honest discussion about this and for some serious change to take place in our society.
As a conservative woman, I'm not all that comfortable discussing feminism or even topics like this. This is the first time I've ever really even
talked about it to be honest.
It was just part of life.
But in my time, I've known a lot of Harvey's.
A lot of Harvey's, indeed.
edit on 12-10-2017 by MRuss because: (no reason given)
This is NO LONGER inthe Mud Pit!!!
All rules for polite debate will be enforced.
You are responsible for your own posts.
....those who ignore that responsibility will
face mod actions.
edit on Thu Oct 12 2017 by DontTreadOnMe because: (no reason given)