That was a very long surprising and revealing, but also very productive day.
To clear things up first:
She´s not my sister or daughter but the daugther of my wifes sister (all deceased in). So she´s also a "niche" of some sort but I did not want to
complicate the post by introducing two niches. She has no one left except for me and my niche. That´s why I care.
To say I "enable" this is blatantly false as it´s not like I´m constantly helping out. The flat is clean (as in cleaned) and the little one has a
good mother in general. It´s not like she´s doing drugs or it´s a drug hole but they are on the brink with his behavior.
I went there with my niche(her "half-sister", who´s already living at my house), she was talking most of the time as I mounted the rest of the
sockets (it´s a rented flat). They are in deep financial trouble as it turned out because he´s acting like he transfered the bills but supposedly
spents the money at the local gambling house. They are on the brink of sitting on the street, only because of the child, the owner (a nice old lady)
"tolerated" the last two missing rents.
The tragic thing is, if not for HIM, she would be doing okay financially. The current solution is that we sat together with the lady and set up a plan
to get the money to her ASAP. The rented flat is canceled and the day after "helloween", or maybe earlier, she´ll be moving in with the little one
until she get´s back on her feet.
I´m not going to pay any bills but both can stay here for free until all debt is paid off. The only condition is that she keeps her part time job and
helps out my other niche with her toddler if she´s at work and vice versa. The rest of the time will be covered by me. For example if both are
working at the same time, I´ll be in charge of the two.
This week I´ll have a close friend visit. The plan is to check out the cylinder walls with his fibre camera. I/we suspect there is a cracked wall
because coolant fluid and oil is mixing. That would mean the engine is dead.
The guy however made a scene when he arrived. I suppose he was clean at the moment. I told him once again to keep his fingers from the brakes because
they are okay except for him driving like an ass (blue hued disks..) and smoking blunts in the car. I told him to man up and what a fool he is. Then I
told him I can help him (turned out, he had no fatherly-figure in his life) after my man up comment. I can show him how to approach a problem and get
it solved (through others if necessary).
I also told him calmly how this will all go down. How there will be no more drugs in this flat. That he´ll have to look for a place to sleep (he´s
definitly not sleeping at my house) but that he´s welcomed if he want´s to visit his son. What I did not told him yet that I managed to get a room
in a catholic compound so he does not have to sleep on the street.
I don´t want him on the street of course. I offered help in terms of getting him into some sort of rehab programm but I´m not sure if he will use
this chance. It´s up to him. But I managed to get him to dispose some of the white powder (I know now what it is, it´s not the "M") drugs into the
toilet, although I don´t believe it was everything he had. What I made exceptionally clear to him is that this will go down how we told him. I
expect him to throw a tantruum at the exact moment I´m writing this post but hope she will stay strong.
This may all be very much at once for both but she and in the end, he also, agreed that smth. must change and that this is the best solution
I for myself have mixed feeling about the situation. I´m glad I can help her out, I´m glad that there will be two little ones but I´m not so glad
that this means I´ll give up even more personal space. I´m very happy when I think of the upcoming christmas when the table will be not just us
three but two more and if HE want´s, he can of course join us.
I don´t know if others would have done it my/this way. I hope it all goes down. I really really hope for him I don´t get a call from her about him
being violent or similar in the aftermath.
That being said, thank you for the input.
edit on 9-10-2017 by verschickter because: I can´t find the correct word how both "niches" are
related to each other, let´s keep it simply, it´s already very complicated for me get things into english