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originally posted by: theantediluvian
Dearest friends, I have an alarming story to share with you. But before I do, I must provide a trigger warning for those of you who have experienced toxic masculinity or related phenomena. The following may cause you great discomfort.
I have photographic evidence of today's appalling events but in the interest of preserving the sanctity of the Mud Pit safe space, I will post these first few lines and return in approximately three minutes to continue my story, in order to give prospective experiencers an opportunity to avoid potentially triggering imagery.
Also please note, I've shared the following text with several prominent (not to imply or endorse social hierarchy) humxns on Tumblr. It should be relatively sanitized at this point but if you still find yourself experiencing escalating anxiety, please
If you are reading this, I assume that you have bravely determined that you are capable of withstanding the mental assault caused by viewing these offensive images. Please proceed with the utmost caution.
So today, I bicycled into the city because I didn't want to drive my planet-killing Prius. I was making a lovely vegan salad with gluten free croutons and braised tofu strips and I needed some fair trade endive.
Once in the store, I grew anxious, realizing I was surrounded by other white people. I considered leaving before anyone I knew arrived but then I noticed that there was an Asian family at a check out and I sighed a sigh of relief, feeling that the atmosphere was sufficiently diverse.
However, things took a turn in the produce section. As I stood looking at the selection of endive, I wrestled with thoughts of the wildlife that had been displaced by the farm on which the endive grew. Was I really enlightened?
My thoughts spiraled downward, down deep into the darkest depths as I considered all of the animals deprived of their homes and the the innocent insects mercilessly slain during the harvest. My face flushed. I could feel tears perched precariously beneath my eyes. It was then that I realized that all that was actually secondary. My first offense was shopping at Trader Joe's, thereby perpetuating the patriarchy. In disgust, I left, knocking over a display of oranges that looked suspiciously like he whose name I will not speak.
Now dreading having left my mother's basement, I retrieved my bicycle and began my return trip.
On the way home, I threw a few sticks of gum to a man who was sleeping on the sidewalk. I couldn't make out what he was yelling back to me, but the way he was shaking his fist, I believe he was encouraging me to fight the power. That elevated my spirits some. In fact, everything was looking up until I reached the gates of my neighborhood.
And that's when it happened.
A security guard — one I didn't recognize — blocked my entrance. He exuded toxic masculinity. Probably a troglodyte who spells womyn with an e. Drunk on patriarchal power, he beamed micro-aggression after micro-aggression, unsympathetic to my experiences! Then he raised a hand to strike me!
I narrowly dodged. He said to me, "Hey, you. Are you sure you're in the right place?"
In the right place!? I clutched the pepper spray in my pocket, wishing my bike lock wasn't securely fastened to the frame. I assured the fascist scum that I did in fact belong there.
"F# you rent-a-pig. You ain't gonna profile me because of my Black Lives Matter shirt. Yea, I know black people. Do you? Do you?"
He immediately became angry. I could tell by his reaction that he was probably a racist but then something happened that confirmed my suspicions. He called his supervisor, Roy, who I already suspected of being a Russian agent. Little did I know he was also a Nazi.
Can you believe it? IN MY OWN NEIGHBORHOOD. My safe space had been violated. I was triggered speechless. I wanted to run but I knew he'd shoot me. He smugly said something like, "Yeah, he's okay, he lives on Poplar. The tan house with the four car garage."
First off, my house isn't tan. It isn't beige, it isn't khaki — it's eggshell. I'm sure he knew that but he was just trying to send me a message that he was in charge, daring me to correct him. Normally, I'll punch a Nazi but there was nobody there to film it so it would have been a complete waste. I considered yanking the red Klan hat off his head, but I had been away from Twitter for too long already and I couldn't be bothered.
So instead, I peddled past him and a safe distance away, gave him the finger. I don't know if he saw it or not but I peddled a little harder just the same. To show him how athletic I was.
Once I got home, I ground up some fair trade coffee beans and brewed a cup of coffee. I used the hand grinder to reduce my carbon footprint. Then I went to the fridge to get some french vanilla soy creamer and to my horror — I discovered that somebody had purchased dairy creamer — made with milk! MILK! The unnatural product of bovine torture. It seems that I just can't escape the patriarchy today, no matter how hard I try. Shaking with revulsion, I slammed the refrigerator door and went downstairs, forgetting my raw sugar, harvested by a collective in Paraguay.
And that brings me to the present. I sit here at my Macbook, drinking my bitter coffee, nearly in tears from my frustrations.
The struggle is real my friends. The struggle is real.
originally posted by: wantsome
The problem with the right wing is they don't care about facts or truths. They have selective hearing and don't care otherwise so long as it fits their agenda. Their mentality borderlines delusional. Always paranoid that someone is going to take their guns or bibles away. Ever wondered how Hitler was able to get so many people to follow him? Delusion fed to people on a mass scale. They can't handle the truth so they bury their head in the sand until someone tell them what they want to hear. They need their bs spoon fed to them because they aren't capable of critical thinking.
originally posted by: Gryphon66
originally posted by: IAMNOTYOU
originally posted by: theantediluvian
a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed
First off, tofu is disgusting. Secondly, I eat beef like a zoo lion. I also don't drive a Prius. Funny story though, my career military now military contractor, gun loving, sportsman brother does. Because he's doesn't let dumb stuff keep him from getting great gas mileage. Also, his other vehicles is some absurd redneck truck monstrosity that gets like 8-10 mpg so he's got to offset that somehow.
None of this is true of course, I just thought it would be entertaining to put myself into the heads of right-wingers and write from the point of view of their stereotype of somebody from the left. Also, this country has lost its ability to make fun of itself. Or at least people have lost the ability to make light of their own "tribe."
If you can't do that, then you will in fact find yourself triggered by anything and everything.
Anyway, it seemed like something to do after a couple drinks. Also, I was inspired by the interview linked in my sig. So I'll dedicate the OP to our friend AM who just hit 10 years on ATS and 40k posts. (somebody needs a life, amirite?)
Yeah just another way for you to talk down about people, and showing everyone how stupid they are, when infact you are the retard acting like an idiot and trying to divide people.
You are obviously the one triggered, so much, that you had to make an OP, acting like an idiot, doing and saying all the stuff you blame others for, and then you tell people they get triggered to easy...
.... but, wait. Didn't you just talk down about people? And try to show someone who stupid they are?
originally posted by: twfau
The time it took you to write that sarcastic, passive-aggressive polemic makes me wonder more about the frequency that we choose pointless procrastination than about whatever points you're trying to make here.
originally posted by: theantediluvian
a reply to: IAMNOTYOU
My intention wasn't to demonstrate how stupid anyone is. It was however my intention to make light of certain absurdities.
Do you typically assume that everything written is a reference to you?