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My Encounter with the Fascist Nazi Patriarchy

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posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 08:58 AM

originally posted by: theantediluvian
Dearest friends, I have an alarming story to share with you. But before I do, I must provide a trigger warning for those of you who have experienced toxic masculinity or related phenomena. The following may cause you great discomfort.

I have photographic evidence of today's appalling events but in the interest of preserving the sanctity of the Mud Pit safe space, I will post these first few lines and return in approximately three minutes to continue my story, in order to give prospective experiencers an opportunity to avoid potentially triggering imagery.

Also please note, I've shared the following text with several prominent (not to imply or endorse social hierarchy) humxns on Tumblr. It should be relatively sanitized at this point but if you still find yourself experiencing escalating anxiety, please


If you are reading this, I assume that you have bravely determined that you are capable of withstanding the mental assault caused by viewing these offensive images. Please proceed with the utmost caution.

So today, I bicycled into the city because I didn't want to drive my planet-killing Prius. I was making a lovely vegan salad with gluten free croutons and braised tofu strips and I needed some fair trade endive.

Once in the store, I grew anxious, realizing I was surrounded by other white people. I considered leaving before anyone I knew arrived but then I noticed that there was an Asian family at a check out and I sighed a sigh of relief, feeling that the atmosphere was sufficiently diverse.

However, things took a turn in the produce section. As I stood looking at the selection of endive, I wrestled with thoughts of the wildlife that had been displaced by the farm on which the endive grew. Was I really enlightened?

My thoughts spiraled downward, down deep into the darkest depths as I considered all of the animals deprived of their homes and the the innocent insects mercilessly slain during the harvest. My face flushed. I could feel tears perched precariously beneath my eyes. It was then that I realized that all that was actually secondary. My first offense was shopping at Trader Joe's, thereby perpetuating the patriarchy. In disgust, I left, knocking over a display of oranges that looked suspiciously like he whose name I will not speak.

Now dreading having left my mother's basement, I retrieved my bicycle and began my return trip.

On the way home, I threw a few sticks of gum to a man who was sleeping on the sidewalk. I couldn't make out what he was yelling back to me, but the way he was shaking his fist, I believe he was encouraging me to fight the power. That elevated my spirits some. In fact, everything was looking up until I reached the gates of my neighborhood.

And that's when it happened.

A security guard — one I didn't recognize — blocked my entrance. He exuded toxic masculinity. Probably a troglodyte who spells womyn with an e. Drunk on patriarchal power, he beamed micro-aggression after micro-aggression, unsympathetic to my experiences! Then he raised a hand to strike me!

I narrowly dodged. He said to me, "Hey, you. Are you sure you're in the right place?"

In the right place!? I clutched the pepper spray in my pocket, wishing my bike lock wasn't securely fastened to the frame. I assured the fascist scum that I did in fact belong there.

"F# you rent-a-pig. You ain't gonna profile me because of my Black Lives Matter shirt. Yea, I know black people. Do you? Do you?"

He immediately became angry. I could tell by his reaction that he was probably a racist but then something happened that confirmed my suspicions. He called his supervisor, Roy, who I already suspected of being a Russian agent. Little did I know he was also a Nazi.

Can you believe it? IN MY OWN NEIGHBORHOOD. My safe space had been violated. I was triggered speechless. I wanted to run but I knew he'd shoot me. He smugly said something like, "Yeah, he's okay, he lives on Poplar. The tan house with the four car garage."

First off, my house isn't tan. It isn't beige, it isn't khaki — it's eggshell. I'm sure he knew that but he was just trying to send me a message that he was in charge, daring me to correct him. Normally, I'll punch a Nazi but there was nobody there to film it so it would have been a complete waste. I considered yanking the red Klan hat off his head, but I had been away from Twitter for too long already and I couldn't be bothered.

So instead, I peddled past him and a safe distance away, gave him the finger. I don't know if he saw it or not but I peddled a little harder just the same. To show him how athletic I was.

Once I got home, I ground up some fair trade coffee beans and brewed a cup of coffee. I used the hand grinder to reduce my carbon footprint. Then I went to the fridge to get some french vanilla soy creamer and to my horror — I discovered that somebody had purchased dairy creamer — made with milk! MILK! The unnatural product of bovine torture. It seems that I just can't escape the patriarchy today, no matter how hard I try. Shaking with revulsion, I slammed the refrigerator door and went downstairs, forgetting my raw sugar, harvested by a collective in Paraguay.

And that brings me to the present. I sit here at my Macbook, drinking my bitter coffee, nearly in tears from my frustrations.

The struggle is real my friends. The struggle is real.

Now the only real important question here is....was your bike handmade using recycled metal? What about the tires? They'd better be made from old recycled tires. Either way I doubt it's a bike made from pure processed hemp plants that runs on rainbows and dreams so you're pretty much single handedly responsible for climate change at this point.

And as much as your post was supposed to be a joke. I do actually know people that act like that. In real life. Personally. One time they called me racist for describing my coworker as an 'old Chinese man who doesn't speak english' or the other day when they were ranting about people who wear 'gay ally' or 'gay for a day' shirts and how they don't realize how offensive they are.

As much as people like that seem like they should be a parody. They definitely exist outside the internet. I enjoy the conversations I get to have and when I get tired of listening to the nonsense I'll just drop in a story from my work (which I feel is a much more realistic example of real world diversity) and it usually makes them all go quiet for a while. I work in a fairly diverse work place the Iranian and the Chinese guys hate eachother. There's a white guy that thinks he's black and uses the n word constantly, we've got a girl in the back working the machines and lifting stone. And we all get along without killing eachother....most of the time.

We don't get Christmas parties anymore though because there was a fight or something at the last one. But we get bbq pork for chinese new year

edit on 8/10/2017 by dug88 because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 10:27 AM

originally posted by: wantsome
The problem with the right wing is they don't care about facts or truths. They have selective hearing and don't care otherwise so long as it fits their agenda. Their mentality borderlines delusional. Always paranoid that someone is going to take their guns or bibles away. Ever wondered how Hitler was able to get so many people to follow him? Delusion fed to people on a mass scale. They can't handle the truth so they bury their head in the sand until someone tell them what they want to hear. They need their bs spoon fed to them because they aren't capable of critical thinking.

You just described the modern "progressive"/communist/anarchist to a T. They are so paranoid, they see Russian plots and conspiracies around every corner. Did your power flicker during that storm? Must have been a Russian EMP. Car stereo making odd noises when your cell phone rings? Must be a Russian SIGINT team targeting you. Accidentally send that email out to the wrong person? Russian mind control, similar to MKULTRA.

If you hear a bump in the night, it is probably the Russians. If you get into a car accident, it is only because the Russians wanted you to be in the accident. If you are arrested by police for a misdemeanor, the Russians must've lobbied for the law and paid off every cop in your town to enforce it.

Most importantly, if your candidate loses an important election, don't blame anything except for the RUSSIANS!

We all know they see Russians on every street corner, but did you know they ALSO see racists and womanizers hiding under every desk? If a women gets proven wrong, it isn't that her facts needed work (or were just wrong), her opponent MUST be anti-women. If you're denied a promotion/pay raise, it isn't because someone who works harder (or has more seniority) got the job - no, it must have been the person's RACE! that determined it.
edit on 10/8/2017 by JBurns because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 10:38 AM
a reply to: Gryphon66

I think its safe to say that people even resembling the subject of the satire demonstrate everything wrong with several generations in just a few paragraphs. It makes sense though, once you have everything handed to you on a silver platter, you will eventually start criticizing the silver and demanding gold instead.

I think its boredom really. Mixed with the kind of arrogance and condescending extremism that only the alt-radical leftists can conjure up. Total nonsense to the intelligent section of society, but common sense and intellect doesn't seem to matter to these people. It's 100% appeal to emotion, Raw Raw Raw! Cheer the latest and greatest arrogant leftist causes, ignoring the fact that the alt radical left is the problem making America sick today.

I don't like the way you argue, Gryphon, and I find nearly every post you make to be lacking in intellectual substance. Your side may have been utterly defeated, but that doesn't stop the drone ants from scrambling out of the freshly destroyed hive and looking for some low hanging fruit to crawl all over.

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 12:15 PM
a reply to: DisinfoEqualsTerrorism

That's a load of seriously offensive crap and the fact that intellectual midgets like you are so weak pathetic insecure ignorant and arrogant as to think you're worth even a tenth of a thousandth of a millionth of a percent what people like me and others who have spent our entire lives questing after knowledge and understanding is absolutely disgusting untrue and you are truly everything that makes this world a horrible place because you have the temerity to spew such tripe!

When the apocalypse comes it will be because all the people like me who hold this world civilization technology and society itself together despite the repeated assaults you and the rest of the moron masses and the psychopaths with trust funds or born to power launch at everything and anything good decent egalitarian or useful the mes of this world build for your unappreciative asses ..... The day is coming when we're all finally tired of holding it together so people like you who do nothing of worth can s*** all over it and f*** up what could be a beautiful and satisfying existence for all of us!

One day we'll decide to let you see just how equal to us you are and drop the world ON YOUR SHOULDERS like it's sat on ours since we started putting cuneiform on clay and drug the rest of you sorry sacks into the light with us!.....

And that day....

That'll be the apocalypse because you will surely do as you have for your entire existence and desperately shrug off the burden trusting in ypur idiot duplicity that someone elze will do the work while you take credit for it right up until EVERYTHING comes apart before you shrieking and shredding smoking and sobbing....

Here's the thing champ, society is dying right now because of arrogant liars like you who feel the need to inflate yourself at the expense of those who actually make the world work!

The me's of this world, we're tired of all the you's (and technology has reached a point where we can finally let everything come apart in the wider world without taking ourselves with you ungrateful idiots finally after being your slaves for the last 12+ millenia don't think for a SECOND we won't watch you all pile drive your little world into a cinder with malicious glee either!)

You all have finally killed the golden geese who gave you EVERYTHING, what comes next you richly deserve!!

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 12:59 PM

originally posted by: Gryphon66

originally posted by: IAMNOTYOU

originally posted by: theantediluvian
a reply to: hopenotfeariswhatweneed

First off, tofu is disgusting. Secondly, I eat beef like a zoo lion. I also don't drive a Prius. Funny story though, my career military now military contractor, gun loving, sportsman brother does. Because he's doesn't let dumb stuff keep him from getting great gas mileage. Also, his other vehicles is some absurd redneck truck monstrosity that gets like 8-10 mpg so he's got to offset that somehow.

None of this is true of course, I just thought it would be entertaining to put myself into the heads of right-wingers and write from the point of view of their stereotype of somebody from the left. Also, this country has lost its ability to make fun of itself. Or at least people have lost the ability to make light of their own "tribe."

If you can't do that, then you will in fact find yourself triggered by anything and everything.

Anyway, it seemed like something to do after a couple drinks. Also, I was inspired by the interview linked in my sig. So I'll dedicate the OP to our friend AM who just hit 10 years on ATS and 40k posts. (somebody needs a life, amirite?)

Yeah just another way for you to talk down about people, and showing everyone how stupid they are, when infact you are the retard acting like an idiot and trying to divide people.

You are obviously the one triggered, so much, that you had to make an OP, acting like an idiot, doing and saying all the stuff you blame others for, and then you tell people they get triggered to easy...

.... but, wait. Didn't you just talk down about people? And try to show someone who stupid they are?

Sure, with a few differences
I didnt make an OP and tried to attack a whole group of people, i just answered directly to the OP
And i tried to make a point about the hypocrisy of the OP

Just like you just did
Your post isnt any different, and is designed to show me how stupid iam, right?

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 01:19 PM
The O.P. was definitely an interesting read, although I should point out that it is full of stereotypes and hyperbole. Also, Nazis are making a small comeback under Trump, and I don’t agree with their philosophy. I thought this was going to be a thread about a real run-in with a Nazi because that is a relevant topic these days.

There was a lot of information packed in there. The O.P. talks a lot about triggers (a popular topic) but I would like to point out Trump gets triggered more than anyone I know, and he’s supposedly a conservative. As for the environment, I am not as into it as the main character in the O.P. by any means, but I think it is a good thing to personally choose to be aware of how one affects the environment. Even if the human race was purely selfish, it is only going to harm itself in the end by destroying the environment.
edit on 08pmSun, 08 Oct 2017 13:26:24 -0500kbpmkAmerica/Chicago by darkbake because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 01:52 PM
The time it took you to write that sarcastic, passive-aggressive polemic makes me wonder more about the frequency that we choose pointless procrastination than about whatever points you're trying to make here.

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 03:39 PM
a reply to: roguetechie


I'm just a self-made millionaire that deals with algorithms.

Do you want a source, your brain is essentially a special algorithm, or a source that the sophistication of process is biologically ubiquitous?

You're wrong about both, but why should I care to deal with your nihilism?

Pretty much anyone can learn calculus, it's a crock of s*** only 'special people' can learn certain things. Absolutely false. SPECIFICALLY, and ESPECIALLY, in things that are processed on a Quantum level, like your brain. You probably are scrambling at this very moment to debunk that as if it's some sort of fringe claim due to your likely ignorance.

Practice is PROVEN to make perfect. For anyone, generally. What's sad is you think you do anything important with that attitude.
edit on 8-10-2017 by DisinfoEqualsTerrorism because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 03:56 PM

originally posted by: Deaf Alien
I don't know which's funnier, the OP or those people who couldn't understand the point, took it seriously, or actually proved the OP's point.

Thanks Ante!

The OP accurately described a typical

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 03:56 PM
2 post

edit on 8-10-2017 by Xtrozero because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 06:25 PM
This would be a great part of a movie script- “A TRIGGERING ON MAPLE STREET”. A man finds a special pair of glasses that allow him to perceive, however so small and meaningless, the injustices that surround him, even when alone in the dark. He is eventually driven to madness, but with a Twilight Zone “Eye of the Beholder” twist, he observes a ligitimate racist act. While violently protesting the act, the authorities have had enough and he is sent off to be with his “own kind”...Ehh?

edit on 8-10-2017 by valve because: Grammar Nazi

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 06:55 PM
Do they have SARCASTIC THREADS for trolls?
It seems to be your best debate skill since you keep loosing the rest.

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 07:48 PM
lol what a difficult day you had, these fascists are truly insufferable.

posted on Oct, 8 2017 @ 08:58 PM
I'd like this short story made into a movie

posted on Oct, 9 2017 @ 01:10 AM
a reply to: IAMNOTYOU

My intention wasn't to demonstrate how stupid anyone is. It was however my intention to make light of certain absurdities.

Do you typically assume that everything written is a reference to you?

posted on Oct, 9 2017 @ 01:14 AM

originally posted by: twfau
The time it took you to write that sarcastic, passive-aggressive polemic makes me wonder more about the frequency that we choose pointless procrastination than about whatever points you're trying to make here.

Roughly half an hour to compose the text. A couple minutes to find/download/upload the pictures. A few additional minutes for revising the OP to make corrections and add a bit to the end. ROI? Days of entertainment.

Also, I don't believe procrastination is the word you were looking for.
edit on 2017-10-9 by theantediluvian because: (no reason given)

posted on Oct, 9 2017 @ 02:29 AM

originally posted by: theantediluvian
a reply to: IAMNOTYOU

My intention wasn't to demonstrate how stupid anyone is. It was however my intention to make light of certain absurdities.

Do you typically assume that everything written is a reference to you?

Nope, not at all. Iam not a partisan, what you said had nothing to do with me. So you can assume what you want, youre wrong!

No, you come in here, and makes fun of certain groups. You tell us how certain people react and think (again you assume stuff) make fun of large groups of people, then go ahead and says (it was just for fun man, you people take everything so serious)

Youre only point with this thread, i assume, was to piss people off. Divide and conquer, right?

posted on Oct, 9 2017 @ 05:00 AM
a reply to: theantediluvian
Your OP is quite possibly my favorite thing I have ever read on ATS. And the replies...yeah, that's some serious ROI, lol.

posted on Oct, 9 2017 @ 07:35 AM
a reply to: theantediluvian

ahhahahahahahhahahah amazing

this made me laugh

but I did want to write trigger warning TL

Nailed it perfectly

posted on Oct, 9 2017 @ 02:15 PM
a reply to: loam

for the first time, i'm laughing that i threw up in my mouth a little . so well done. hahahahahahaha

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