Here goes ...

"Sounds like she has been too influential and has somehow been able to control your psyche. Please remove her from your life."

I dated a gal for a while who was into esoteric stuff (numerology, astrology, crystals, scrying mirror, etc.), and I'm an open-minded kinda guy. There's a lot to learn, so for me it was an adventure. Over time, however, simply being around her *did* somewhat alter my perceptions of reality and who I was. It's natural to want to believe someone who says they care about you.

I realized these new perceptions were not positive at all. I didn't need someone telling me things about myself that were, until this point in my life, completely invisible to my family and friends--people that knew me for years and years--well enough to recognize it if it were true.

That relationship didn't last.

originally posted by: 34thRight

I would also like to conclude something ... my girlfriend believes I'm morphing and coming into ... well ... him. Strangely enough, I turned 33 years old in April ... and ... I see the number " 33 " ( amongst many others 11:11, 333, 555, 777, etc. ) And me and her met a couple months after that.

First is she a good screw... That alone fixes much of your issues...

Second watch the movie number 23, and then tell me what is driving this 33 thing...

originally posted by: 34thRight
We're no longer together. And haven't been for quite some time now.

Who you think you were in a past life and who you were are 2 different things.

I'm convinced that I was a high ranking Nazi member/officer but I doubt I was. We like to think we are more than what we are... and it gives you a less fear of death

originally posted by: Ghostsinthefog
Who you think you were in a past life and who you were are 2 different things.

I'm convinced that I was a high ranking Nazi member/officer but I doubt I was. We like to think we are more than what we are... and it gives you a less fear of death

What convinced you ? And why do you doubt it ?

a reply to: 34thRight

Just certain memories, emotions, dreams

originally posted by: Jefferton
You are not Jesus.


Second line.

How rude!

originally posted by: 34thRight

I always wanted to help lead people into the light. Always. Yet it feels so dark to me right now ...

So what have you done so far?

a reply to: 34thRight

I have a different take on it based on past experiences.

You are indeed "touched" by or graced by God, and Jesus is a part of it and at the most fundamental level because you are a chosen person (few are chosen, many called), Jesus wants to be you, your very best, truest self, with you in him and he in you.

You are a type of Jesus, in other words, and a gifted person ie: you're ability as a child to speak and explain the word, as Jesus did as a child.

There's a name for it, even as it related to the historical Jesus. It's not madness, but a certain type of soul that's capable of seeing through it all, through the illusion and the matrix to the root of things and to what's most important which by it's very nature is invisable (aren't all the best things invisible?).

The problem or difficulty you're having involves the ego-identification of the "self" but remember that Jesus emptied himself of self and was filled to overflowing with the Spirit. Born from above, not from flesh and blood but by the Spirit.

Instead of trying to figure it out, intellectually, or in asking the question - am I Jesus? why not just go with the flow and learn how not to take yourself too seriously, and allow the process of transformation to take place, which will also take you to the place of who you really are, which is also who you were as a child - a son of God with God's Spirit.

Let Jesus and the father make their home WITH you and in you with you in them, but without having to identify or personify this Spiritual being that you are.

People will say that I'm encouraging your delusion or mild psychosis, but I believe that what you're experiencing could be described as an authentic spiritual experience.

It's fairly rare, but it happens to people. It happened to me on more than one occassion, and sometimes signs and wonders and an impossible series of syncrhonicities and coincidences will accompany the profound psychic transformation and experience.

Think of it as God as Spirit wanting to penetrate your personality where there is no amount of Jesus that's capable of ruining it! LOL

The problem again is the ego and it's ability to "contain" this Spiritual identify. It can't, and it will pop, which isn't a very pleasant experience, but if you need to "pop", you will.

You may have a new calling to transition from being a truck driver to a preacher who will speak for Jesus and share breathtaking insights into the underlying and deeper nature of the Gospel message. However, to the degree that this plays into a fantasy of being THE ONE, again, that's just an ego trip.

As a type of Jesus, even as a echo of Jesus, your job or assignment will be to make Jesus' out of others and to multiple Jesus in the world, as He intended.

There's no need to be confused about it because Jesus really is your truest and best self, as he is my own even in spite of all my flaws and foilbles.

A better analogy would involve being, even as a man, the Bride of Christ, which could also be where this woman figures into the equation whereby at the most fundamental level we are all Kings and Queens, just don't get confused in this whole identity game ie: if I'm Jesus then she is the Bride of Christ - check the last page of the Bible for the magnificent ending..

After you've "decompressed" from the ego-inflation that this experience brings on (where sometimes it's best to just POP and get it over it), and have become regrounded (you might try meditating with feet on the ground), I would recommend a much deeper study of the New Testament to get to better know this person that you are and are becoming, while developing a deeper and richer understanding of what Jesus became in Spirit as a living person yet one who isn't "particuluarized" or localized ie: the body of Christ, where He is the head, but where you might be the brain or the central nervous system or the eye or whatehaveyou, without one one part of the body being greater than the other or apart from any other.

Think of Jesus not only in terms of a divine romance and a marriage between the Bridegroom and the Bride (you, and me), but also as your elder brother where it could be said that the student can never be as great or greater than the teacher and master.

In other words, there is an appropriate framework and context within which what you've been experiencing is, essentially true, and not the product of mental illness or psychosis, but again, part of an authentic, and a necessary spiritual experience.

When I saw people writing simply - you're not Jesus, I was immediately struck by how rude and ignorant such a statement is.

Pay them no heed but to thine own self be true.

I once considered whether I might be the reincarnation of Jesus but one who'd blown his assignment so to speak, until I really delved into it, and studied to try to figure it all out.

Jesus didn't need to reincarnate you see, so that he can remain with the heavenly father interceding for us in perpetuity.

But at the same time, his leadership involves our followership into him and into becoming evermoreso like him, even unto the full stature of Christ.

You are a chosen and a very gifted person, and an open and honest person with a passion for the Spirit and the person of the Spirit, which is also you or your most essential self in your innermost heart of hearts.

Don't be dissuaded into believing that you're anything less than what God wants you to be, and remember that that's also where all the fun is, provided you don't particularize yourself as a Jesus set apart or over and above others.

Get to know him more, and in the process, get to know more and more of who and what you are and are becoming.

As to this women, she sounds like she might be your soul mate, and that's really something, but then you've got her ego and your ego in a merger and an inflation of romantic love with confusion of identities, which are important to untangle.

There's a wonderful story about Mary btw in a very ancient tradition that didn't make it into the Bible where she'd heard about him and sought him out to see him and hear him speak and when they made eye contact, well, it was true love at fist sight, which is not to say that he didn't remain chaste all the way through the ordeal as the blemish free white as snow lamb of God, but he was also meant to experience the full range of our humanity including human sexuality, as blasphemous as some might say such an idea is. The idea of the two of them leaving town at the end of it all, and as implied in da Vinci's "The Last Supper" (he understood it) is just the greatest triumphant thing a person can imagine.

We are the Bride of Christ, and if she's the one for you, she's free to love you as Mary loved him and for you to love her as He loved Mary, like a match made in heaven.

For better comprehension and understanding I recommend, aside from a deep study of the Gospels and NT, to pick up and read a book, both of you, called "The Road Less Travelled" by a man named M. Scott Peck. It will help prevent you from getting all tangled up in terms of these roles and identities.

Don't take yourself too seriously, on the one hand, while also taking this Spiritual experience and truth at the heart of it all, very seriously.

I think I know what you're going through. PM me if you wish or write it out here for the sake of neither you, or I, but the reader who shouldn't judge.

a reply to: 34thRight


Here's a little test to test my hypothesis re: echoes of Jesus.

I'll bet that there's a great deal, like more than usual, of suffering, and controversy, involving your birth and in relation to your parents and siblings whereby you came along as a surprise (and by that I don't mean an immaculate conception), where, at some level your arrival into the family was both unwanted, yet also celebrated even to the point of causing great jealousy among your siblings, where to this day members of your family of origin are estranged from you as if by irreconcilable differences and a way of being that made of you a type of outcast and an alien or a black sheep of sorts, but for all the wrong reasons.

Your first task would then be to go back to your family of origin and your siblings, and reconcile everything, although it would be best I think if you don't approach them by saying - "I'm Jesus" which might be called leading with the chin to use a boxing analogy. lol

When you've learned how to do that, then you're in a position to heal others of their psychological turmoil also due to conflicts within their own families of origin.

The Spirit and Jesus is a great counsellor.

I'm sure you've also been carrying very heavy loads in your truck...

You see, in that laughter and recognition, you don't really take yourself too seriously.

My impression is that you're a good man, even a chosen person, where the incongruity is that it's all being expressed almost exclusively within the context of a romantic, sexual relationship, when God has other things in store, even the true meaning of what that represents relative to the whole human family and the familial framework of God of which there's none higher.

originally posted by: Xtrozero

originally posted by: 34thRight

I always wanted to help lead people into the light. Always. Yet it feels so dark to me right now ...

So what have you done so far?

Sharing as much light/love that I possibly can. Whether it be on ATS, at home, work, or out in public ( stores, for example ). It brings me a CONSIDERABLE amount of joy to further bring out the light in others. To see them smile, laugh, to see/feel them that much more confident in themselves ... it's beautiful. Beyond beautiful really. ❤

I also have a Facebook page. Though it doesn't seem to get a ton of traffic lol. But that's okay.


I would like to note, however, that I don't force myself on others. Most of what I do is just based on feeling. And I most certainly do not see myself as a savior, teacher, guru, etc., etc. I'm just some guy who enjoys sharing an infinite energy within mySELF that I see in others.

originally posted by: AnkhMorpork
a reply to: 34thRight


Here's a little test to test my hypothesis re: echoes of Jesus.

I'll bet that there's a great deal, like more than usual, of suffering, and controversy, involving your birth and in relation to your parents and siblings whereby you came along as a surprise (and by that I don't mean an immaculate conception), where, at some level your arrival into the family was both unwanted, yet also celebrated even to the point of causing great jealousy among your siblings, where to this day members of your family of origin are estranged from you as if by irreconcilable differences and a way of being that made of you a type of outcast and an alien or a black sheep of sorts, but for all the wrong reasons.

Your first task would then be to go back to your family of origin and your siblings, and reconcile everything, although it would be best I think if you don't approach them by saying - "I'm Jesus" which might be called leading with the chin to use a boxing analogy. lol

When you've learned how to do that, then you're in a position to heal others of their psychological turmoil also due to conflicts within their own families of origin.

The Spirit and Jesus is a great counsellor.

I'm sure you've also been carrying very heavy loads in your truck...

You see, in that laughter and recognition, you don't really take yourself too seriously.

My impression is that you're a good man, even a chosen person, where the incongruity is that it's all being expressed almost exclusively within the context of a romantic, sexual relationship, when God has other things in store, even the true meaning of what that represents relative to the whole human family and the familial framework of God of which there's none higher.

I love what you have shared. In fact, I love most of what you share ( have seen previous posts of yours here on ATS ). ❤ Would love to converse with you through PM.

Would like to note, however, that I am not the same person that I was when I began this thread. So much has happened. The transformation has been ... challenging lol. But far from complete. Far lol. And I type this out for any and all reading and/or following this thread.

She's a charlatan.

This is how it works...you go around spotting for vulnerable/gullible people.

When you think you've found one you tell them something both astoundingly improbable but at the same time complimentary. You will eventually find someone who responds positively.

When you find that someone, you know you've found someone who will think you're amazing, clever, knowledgeable....they will believe everything you say.

And they're putty in your hands.

Wake up and smell the coffee, bro. She's manipulating you, and you're allowing her to.

How much have you given her so far?

C'mon, now - fess up.

You've given her money, haven't you?

originally posted by: LungFuMoShi
C'mon, now - fess up.

You've given her money, haven't you?

I stated awhile back that we're no longer together. The previous page, I believe.

a reply to: 34thRight

Ok...while you wre together how much did you give her?

You gave her money, didn't you?

I'm guessing yes since instead of answering the question you quoted in your response you deliverately avoided it.

originally posted by: LungFuMoShi
a reply to: 34thRight

Ok...while you wre together how much did you give her?

You gave her money, didn't you?

I'm guessing yes since instead of answering the question you quoted in your response you deliverately avoided it.

Lol. No money given, Lung.

* Deliberately *

originally posted by: 34thRight

originally posted by: Jefferton
You are not Jesus.


Second line.

Then, in your opinion, what am I ? Or better yet, what do you think it is I'm going through ?

Thank you, sir. And I do appreciate and value your comments.

I'm a tad late to this party- but this is my take on it. First off, I'd keep a sharp, sharp eye on that woman. Having been thru something where the woman attached herself to me in a weird, telepathic way- and then proceeded to screw with not only my head, but 3 other women's heads, I'd say you may be the victim of a bond you probably do not want. And trust me- if the relationship goes sour, you REALLY won't want it.

Now- think about your claims. I won't refute that you are indeed going thru this. However- Jesus was able to do miracles: heal the sick, turn water into wine, raise the dead. What can you do? Pick something easy- water into wine, or cheese into gold. Something that is a concrete 'miracle', even if it's reviving a dead flower. If you cannot- there is your answer.

Also- just to satisfy my own curiosity.... her first name doesn't start with a P, and is the same as a US one cent piece, is it?

originally posted by: wylekat

originally posted by: 34thRight

originally posted by: Jefferton
You are not Jesus.


Second line.

Then, in your opinion, what am I ? Or better yet, what do you think it is I'm going through ?

Thank you, sir. And I do appreciate and value your comments.

I'm a tad late to this party- but this is my take on it. First off, I'd keep a sharp, sharp eye on that woman. Having been thru something where the woman attached herself to me in a weird, telepathic way- and then proceeded to screw with not only my head, but 3 other women's heads, I'd say you may be the victim of a bond you probably do not want. And trust me- if the relationship goes sour, you REALLY won't want it.

Now- think about your claims. I won't refute that you are indeed going thru this. However- Jesus was able to do miracles: heal the sick, turn water into wine, raise the dead. What can you do? Pick something easy- water into wine, or cheese into gold. Something that is a concrete 'miracle', even if it's reviving a dead flower. If you cannot- there is your answer.

Also- just to satisfy my own curiosity.... her first name doesn't start with a P, and is the same as a US one cent piece, is it?

We're no longer together. Haven't been together for a few months or so now. And our relationship ended in a civil manner. Or so I felt.

You got me, I can do none of those things. A miracle for me is remembering what to pick up at the grocery store without a written list in hand lol.

No, regarding Penny.

Still replying here? a reply to: 34thRight