* I fully expect to be laughed at, amongst other things. But, I'm open to any and all your comments, thoughts, etc. *
Short version ...
A woman came into my life a few months ago that I absolutely fell head over heels in love with. A very, VERY spiritual woman. A woman who messaged me
over Facebook to say " We must see each other. " And to my surprise, I strongly felt the need to see her as well. From our first meeting to our
current meetings/relationship has been a wild, wild ride lol. We are almost PERFECT for each other. She is 21 years my senior, but I stopped caring a
long while back.
Here's where it get's interesting though ...
She told me that she had seen Jesus in a past life. She, through past regression therapy, felt that she was looking through the eyes of Mary Magdalene
at him. And she described his energy, how he looked, how be carried himself and how it made her feel to be around him. And ... well ... she believes
that I am Jesus Christ. Yeah ... well ... it certainly caught ME by surprise. And I'm not sure if I believe it ( was told this a couple of months ago
), but ... these last couple of months :
- I have had intense anxiety/panic attacks. Like today, for instance, where I literally feel a strong dissociation with the body and mind... energy "
bursts " through my head, heart, and lower stomach. I feel tingly all over my body, I feel strong vibrations, and I feel like it's 200 degrees on
the inside. And even more scary, I often feel like I'm coming out of my body. A very, very unsettling feeling. It's like your nowhere but everywhere
all at once. Feels like this power/entity just comes through me. VERY INTENSE
- Started meditating a couple of months ago fairly regularly. Within minutes I'm able to go somewhere " quiet ". And when I do ... well ... I see
this bright yellow light emerge and feel what seems like a body " orgasm ". I also feel very, very light and vibratory ( if that's a word ).
- I laid in bed one night and in anger denied that I was Jesus and that it was a silly idea. And when I did that, I saw a vision of me on the cross. I
denied it again the next day and had a vision of me with my arms downward and outstretched, palms open.
Also had a pic taken of me one day out while hiking ( should show in this thread ). And I ASSURE YOU ... this was NOT planned, not orchestrated. Both
my friend and I were in shock. My girlfriend lol ... not so much. She wasn't even phased by it.
- Went and seen a close, psychic channeler friend of mine. She is LEGIT. Has predicted so many things ( with detail ) that have come true ! So I asked
her ... " Am I Jesus ". She said that the other side said it was hard to put into words/language that a human could understand ... but ... I could
possibly be him ... but am definitely his archetype. Well ... okay ...
And many, MANY others things have happened and are happening to me daily. I feel like I'm going nuts. And I have no history of mental illness. For
God's sake, I'm just a truck driver. Certainly nothing special special. But its becoming more and more difficult to function at work ( have had to
leave early twice just this week ). It's ... again ... very scary, unsettling.
I would also like to conclude something ... my girlfriend believes I'm morphing and coming into ... well ... him. Strangely enough, I turned 33 years
old in April ... and ... I see the number " 33 " ( amongst many others 11:11, 333, 555, 777, etc. ) And me and her met a couple months after that.
It seems my life is moving in a direction that is so unfamiliar to me. And it is tearing me down each and every day, and I am not sure why.
Any idea what's happening to me, anyone ? I appreciate any and all that you all have to say. I know I'll be told ( most likely ) to see a doctor
and/or psychologist, I know I'll be laughed at, mocked even. But this is all very real ... at least to me, right ? :/
And to think 3-4 months ago I was just some guy lifting weights everyday, going to work, doing my fatherly duties, without any idea of what was going
to transpire further down the road ...
P.S - Like most, if not all of you, I've always felt ( since the time I was 7 or so ) that I was meant to contribute HUGELY to our world. In fact, at
8-9 years old, I was giving sermons ( my father would help write them out ) to children and adults in church, was leading discussions on religion, was
discussing God and the Devil with preachers, priests, etc.
I always wanted to help lead people into the light. Always. Yet it feels so dark to me right now ...