posted on Nov, 30 2017 @ 08:20 PM
Well its 48 hours until i depart los angeles and head to Australia.
I sit here in my old empty apartment staying one last night.
The walls once covered in art and personal notes on various studies of interest i had are all gone.
My bookshelf that held books from my childhood gone. Most of the books given up to goodwill over the week.
My old dresser that held my tv and served as an all purpose table for everything from a place to put my keys to a food prep area gone.
My bbq that i had cooked countless meals on given up to my best friend. A way to pass on the tradition of the many feasts he and i cooked together.
My wonderful flowers that served as my avatar for years ive said goodbye to. Their seeds carefully saved and put into storage for some other time and
I spent the day standing on my street corner and just stared lost in memories good and bad over the years.
I watched my neighbors come and go going about their daily schedules and said goodbye to each one in turn.
Patted my favorite neighborhood dog on the head one last time and said fairwellashe licked my face.
Watched the kids at the elementary school across the street, their joyous sounds once a constant backdrop to my days here, play and laugh. I
fetched a ball, one of my daily duties as a neighbor, that went over the school yard fence and threw it back over one last time. A kid saying "thank
you mister" as he excitedly got his ball back.
Saw my best friend again to say goodbye and told him to keep in touch as i would miss him.
Right now i sit here half crying half, excited and definitely nervous.
I think about all of my past thats brought me to this decision to leave los angeles. All the frustrations about feeling out of place in los angeles.
All the various jobs i did over the years struggling to survive. The pain. The heartbreak. The loneliness. How everything is getting more and
more expensive and prohibitive here. How i cant keep at the pace i am. How difficult it is to even make rent or eat here. All the burning wreckage
that was my past here in los angeles.
Thoughts race through my mind about the day my life changed forever when i met a special girl. How a new door has opened. How ive been given a very
rare opportunity to restart my life again and totally. I get to travel to a new country on another continent in another hemisphere. Start fresh
again. Live my life new with the advantage my years of experience have brought me to be a better person. The road ahead of me will be hard and the
adventure worth it all.
I think about how hard i tried every single day to make this happen. How i worked 7 days a week day and night doing soul crushing and lonley jobs.
The gutwrenching financial setbacks. How it took me a year and a half just to get the plane tickets.
Some of my friends are supportive others not. My sister has stoped talking to me. My family thinks i will fail spectacularly.
Many dont understand why this risk. Why i burned my life down to be reborn.
The truth is simple. I gave everything in my life up for a chance at love. And that is why im leaving la and my former life. For a chance at love.
Id like to thank the folks in the shed especially night star whom without i would likely have never met this special woman i am giving up everything
for. You all in a way have touched and impacted my life for the better because of that and i thank you. Especially you night star.
Wish me luck. And ill see you guys all real soon once ive landed and settled. Ill need a place to share my new life and friends to share my new