It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

A Terrible Accident

page: 1
10

log in

join
share:

posted on Sep, 24 2017 @ 09:41 PM
link   

A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but ... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your willy was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new willy that will work as well as your old one did -better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1000 an inch."

"So," the doctor says, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."

The man agrees to talk with his wife.

The doctor comes back the next day. "So," says the doctor, "have you spoken with your wife?"

"I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you in making the decision?"

"Yes, she has," says the man.

"And what was decided?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite countertops."




posted on Sep, 24 2017 @ 09:50 PM
link   
a reply to: Snarl

Fraud! Granite counter tops aren't allowed under the insurance contract .

Its 'wood' or nuthin.



posted on Sep, 24 2017 @ 10:05 PM
link   

originally posted by: intrptr
Its 'wood' or nuthin.

So hard ... even a cat can't scratch it?



posted on Sep, 25 2017 @ 12:00 AM
link   
a reply to: Snarl

She would forget all about those granite counter tops.



posted on Sep, 25 2017 @ 06:25 AM
link   

originally posted by: Snarl

originally posted by: intrptr
Its 'wood' or nuthin.

So hard ... even a cat can't scratch it?


Mewww, that hurt.



posted on Sep, 25 2017 @ 03:11 PM
link   
a reply to: Snarl

That's classic! Who doesn't love the old traditional wife - husband squabble, in all its manifestations?
These jokes go back to Henny Youngman or even before.




top topics
 
10

log in

join