Need a Bed - Need some advice (?)

I guess I should have added another data-point in my OP. One big consideration is I am kind of a big guy (6'5" and 265-270 lbs.). So I have to be careful with memory foam type things. One time I slept on one of those tempur-pedic memory foam beds and I woke up just about the time it was beginning to close over the top of me (like a sarcophagus). I nearly drowned, and likely would have except for the flames from my body heat boiled most of the water out as steam. I think I lost about 40 pounds that night and had to drink about 6 gallons of water the next day. To this day I still have a "memory" of that foam bed! They don't call it memory foam for nothin'!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Whatever you do, avoid the "Sleep Number" crap. They are glorified air mattresses. Same with waterbeds, they are worse.

A good mattress is expensive. Shell out the dough or find one for free like me.

a reply to: intrptr

Interesting. Are they not comfortable (the sleep number beds)? Seems like this is all I hear people talk about at work, like they are the end-all, be-all, of mattresses.

The mattress we have now was pretty expensive (don't remember how much now, but it wasn't cheap), but now the wife can't sleep on it and now neither can I (and I used to be able to sleep on a pile of river rock). I remember when we bought it I went out looking for a really good mattress. So, I'm not sure how I'd go about finding one better.

My biggest problem is, I can't lay on a mattress in a store and tell if it's going to be comfortable or not. They all feel pretty much the same...like a "bed".

I had a similar issue, bed choice is difficult.

What I did was start by finding a good local pickup bar. I spent a few weeks there picking up a woman every few nights (3 to 4 a week).

We would go to her place, drink, fool around etc. But the relevant point is that id really focus on evaluating the bed as well. Before sneaking out in the early morning I would check the tag for brand and stiffness. After a few weeks I had a pretty nice little log book of notes and different brand options.

In the end I found a really nice bed that fit me well, had to change my cellphone number and filed a restraining order against one of the girls.

All and all it worked out.

You definitely need a new mattress. Try going around to mattress stores and trying them out. They don't mind, they expect it. And don't try to get off cheaply.
If you want a good mattress you will have to pay for it, but it's worth it. I like a firm mattress myself, although remember, it typically takes a month or so to get used to a new one.

In the meantime, sleep on your recliner if you want and don't worry about it, but in the long run, you'll be happier in the bedroom.

Mattress shopping! Can be fun.

I have slept on a waterbed since I was 20. I'm now 63 and still have a waterbed. It's a king size waveless. I've had this bed for over 10 years and love it. I have a number of physical problems, and can't really sleep well on any other kind of bed. The trick to a waterbed is to adjust the firmness by adding or removing water until the firmness suits you. The optimum temp. for the bed is 83 degrees. This can be lowered in summer when it is warmer, but don't lower it more than a few degrees. Add conditioner when filling it, and use a mattress pad under the sheets. I don't use waterbed sheets. Instead I use standard king size sheets. They work just fine, even better than waterbed sheets.

Over the years I have tried a number of different beds when the opportunity has presented itself. None of them ever suited me. Back a couple of years ago I got to try a sleep number bed. They are just an expensive air mattress. I had a week to try it and no matter what setting I used it never felt any different, as in never got comfortable. Wasn't comfortable on memory foam either. I'm always comfortable on my waterbed so I'm sticking with it. They still sell them, do a search on google. Don't be afraid to invest in a good quality mattress and heater. Hope this helps.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Sleep number beds are air mattresses with little pumps to inflate or deflate to personal 'comfort'.

I acquired a give away . It was a shell of a mattress surrounding an airbag. After some time the pump stopped working, the 'surrounding' edge part of the mattress wears out over time from getting in and out.

From personal experience sleeping on air mattress is a camping thing, or a beach thing.

I mean, in order for me to tell if a mattress is comfy I need to go out and chop a bunch of wood, wrangle the cows for a while, come inside and have a couple beers...and take my pants off, lay on the bed and phart a couple big rippers, toss around a few times, adjust (well, you know), scratch a few times, get the pillows just right, rip off a couple more pharts...and then go to sleep.

The only way I'll know if the bed is comfortable is after waking up and seeing if I'm paralyzed or not.

I'm thinkin' if I go into the bed store and try to replicate my routine I'm gonna' get some odd looks.

GREAT input so far!!

All excellent points to consider!

Please do continue. I'm learning more from each response.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I have a strange thing going on with sleep and beds, too.

It got real crazy, just in these last couple of weeks. At one point I had four beds in the house trying to get it sorted and I am a single guy. That's a long story and this is your story though.

I have tried a lot of different things. I even gave up everything (like caffeine and herbal things) to see if that was it. I don't drink alcohol, either. No change of bed nor habit has made any difference at all.

I've ended up with a single bed in my living room as the bedroom is too boring for how long I have to spend in there awake. I sleep about 4 or 5 hours a night. Sometimes I go 48 even without sleep at the worst. My mind will not switch off. I generally try and chill around 1-2am. I fall asleep for about half an hour to an hour. Then I am awake again. Then sleep by about 4-5am until 8am.

The conclusion I have come to is lucky me. I have a natural amphetamine thing happening. There is plenty of time to sleep in Sheol, besides. My Gran'daddy said this to me, which is strange as I have ended up with the same thing happening:

"Don't get anxious and worry if you can't sleep or can't eat. It just means you ain't hungry and you ain't tired(in so many words)".

I always seem to sleep for an hour late afternoon. Well, slightly less than.

It's only a problem if we think it is a problem. As we get older some of us don't need to sleep or eat very much.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

My guess is that you don't realize that you are suffering from sleep apnea when you sleep in the bed. Your body feels terrible in the morning when you're suffocating all night. Has your partner ever mentioned you snoring?

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk


Get an adjustable bed. Just like a recliner, you can prop your legs up or your head like a recliner. I have one its more for the wife than me. But I find I use its features more and more as time goes by. As far as mattress that is a personal preference.

a reply to: gr8skott

Well, I used to snore really bad, but not so much anymore. Regarding the whole sleep apnea thing, it's a possibility, but I've never been tested. I suspect I probably do have it to a degree. There's no point in finding out for sure because there is absolutely NO WAY (no possible way, absolutely zero) I could ever sleep with positive air pressure blowing anywhere near my face, especially up my nose or in my mouth (just absolutely no way). I can't even stick my head out of a car window and breath. If the heater in a car blows in my face I will shut the heater off, or get out of the car...or commit a homicide to get at and then break the heater. No way!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I get much better sleep on my recliner too. I've come to believe that it is because of my height. Furniture is just not made for people 6'4" and therefore my back is constantly getting the wrong type of support. In my recliner I can position myself that the support is right in my sweet spot and I sleep like a baby.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Having a bad back myself....the options are many, almost too many to mention. Everyone with one...will have a different opinion.

I am looking into one I saw that's called "mattress in a box" (delivered to your door about the size of a large file cabinet box). Surprisingly small and rolled up...I believes it "swells" when unrolled and is memory foam of sorts.

Would be perfect on an existing bed or chair even. I'll be checking it out and re-post

Good luck

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I bought a shikibuton a while ago. Since buying that I rarely awaken stiff and miserable. Only time I do is if I drank too much and slept like an oddball.

a reply to: TobyFlenderson

I agree. I've come to the conclusion the entire World is not big-people friendly at all. At 6'5", shopping for just about anything is just about impossible. Not fat particularly (I mean I'm sure I could lose some weight), just really big. Beds barely long enough, shoes not big enough, jackets too small...it's endless. Just try to find a size 52 sport coat that isn't made by Omar the Tentmaker and so rotund it could fit 3 of me inside it around the waist.

Flying on a commercial airplane in coach in a middle seat is just pure misery...every second of it.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I suggest buying a Casper mattress. You can order online, it comes in a box because it's made of memory foam.

Never buy Tempur-Pedic. Moulds too well to the body, leaves a person with lower back issues.

Casper has remedied this problem with various layers of different types which push back and have the needed bounciness.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

If I recommend a specific bed and you buy it and whine about it, I'll be blamed.

Before I do that...

Prior list of disclaimers:

Most americans have trouble sleeping right now, or they should.

You own physical and psychological make up is unique to you.

The mattress companies sell labels and features. If it sounds good on the ads buy it, most americans gobble ad campaigns and slogans because they are conditioned, everyone else does it.

Having said that.

I am 'like' you in certain regards, you're taller and heavier, so am I. You've slept on a 'bed of rocks', I've slept on cardboard beneath overpasses, on benches and in the back of truck beds. One can sleep anywhere if exhausted enough. I'm also restless, toss and turning light sleeper. I am destructive on things in general.

Having said that, I don't recommend anything complex like sleep numbers. they are over designed: wires, hoses and pumps, LCD dispalys and 'adjustments'. A covered bag of air inside a frame. Stay away from foam beds too. They wear out sooner.

Rule of thumb wth mattress, the firmer it feels new, the longer it will last.

I happened to inherit a used Simmons Deep Sleep (Plush 4.0). Its wearing well, I don't have back problems or numbness upon waking. I actually fall asleep on it. By far the best I've encountered.

But if you are a princess and the pea type, nothing will work for you. Remember that when you review these links.

a reply to: Namdru
4" is nice, but if you want you can spend just a tad more for 10" of memory foam at Sam's Club.
I bought my memory foam bed from Sam's in 2005. It was the most amazing bed I ever slept on, and we still have it today twelve years on but its effectiveness is wearing off. I would say we probably had to replace it 2 or three years ago when we couldn't do the bowling ball trick with a glass anymore lie you saw on the commercial. Where you can have a glass of liquid on one side and drop a bowling ball kind of close to it without spilling the liquid.

Im pretty sure that wore off in 2014 or so. LOL! But yea, its still comfortable but the movements are no longer as subtle as they used to be when one of us gets up. Used to be you did not feel anything, like being on a cloud. 8 or 9 years is a hell of a lot of time to get out of a mattress though, so I would say we got our moneys worth. We only paid $200 for it then at Sams, and they are not much more today.

This is a nice illustration of what they make now. When I bought mine it was one solid layer, now they have multiple layers like someone else mentioned. Im glad you brought this up as it has spurred me to look at the options to replace our ancient memory foam mattress. You should read the reviews on This product, very satisfied owners.


One last mention that really helps in this decision. Sam's Club is Wal-Mart, so as long as you keep the receipt you can try the product for ninety days (3 months) and decide whether it works for you or not. Return it on day 89 if you are not satisfied, get your money back. If you order it online, you can still return to a store. My local Sam's has many of these beds in stock though and are no longer in the box but standing upright in a line in a plastic wrap.