I can't believe it, lol.
I dunno which type of ENFP I am, the differences seem a little ambiguous and difficult to pin down.
I wonder how closely you keep track of what I write at ATS, hmmm.
I really like the quotes, they are always good. You know I could (and will) tell you stuff about things no one else ever could. I really hope you've
been following my "I Support Your Dreams" thread, I'm still working on it. I've got tons of stuff to add to it, and I've been meaning to work on it
this weekend but all sorts of stuff happened and I just didn't have any time.
You really need to keep your eyes on that one, because that's where I'll be putting some cool unique stuff. I have a ton of ideas for other threads,
and I regret not posting political things because the time frames on those wears off quickly.
Writing threads is really a hit or miss thing, but as you probably know, it's not always about that to me. Not many people (less than a 10 easily)
have any interest in my continuation of the Dreams thread, but that's what I want to write.
I really like the concept of writing something informative and educational, yet avant garde and exploratory where I can really be creative and invent
my own styles and methods.
This thread for example, is just me freaking out (in the OP) and then trying to address all the responses. There isn't really anything groundbreaking
or novel about it, in terms of writing style or approach. The idea that maybe I got abducted by aliens is in itself, an eyeopener and for me
personally, pretty messed up. But as a writer that wants to push the boundaries and really blow everyone's minds with some hardcore esoteric jujitsu,
this isn't it.
In my Dreams thread, I came up with, on the spot as I was literally writing it in many cases, some powerful stuff. Keep in mind there are pages worth
of stuff I didn't put in there (yet). And when I pull something outta the hat, it even surprises me and I get so giddy about it (to be perfectly
honest, lol). I'm always like "YES!! Wooohooo!" and it really inspires me to push forward and keep driving.
If I knew you were really reading all this stuff, I would have tried harder and wrote way more. I just didn't realize. And you, better than anyone,
know that I can get way outta hand, lol!!! I'm really sorry about that too. I never meant to hurt you, and I hope you truly know that. If you want me
to apologize a million times in a million ways, I have no problem with it. Please understand that I fight because I have to, not because I want to.
I've written you a 100+ apologies that you've never seen or heard.
On the same note, I truly believe I deserve an apology too. What I got was a very raw deal and it simply wasn't fair, and I had no valid chance at
all. I felt very cheated and betrayed and violated. I almost died several times. It wasn't cool.
You don't have to say you're sorry, just show me you are. That'll be enough.
You know I'm sorry.
In terms of where to go from here, I don't know. The world is wide open for me. I am so blessed and unbelievably talented, I could do anything. That's
the true challenge in my life - picking something and focusing on it, committing to a course of action. It's not 'what can I do', because that's
anything. It's 'what should I do', which I can never decide upon.
Most of my conversations with other people don't get written down, no one other than the other participant ever sees them. I probably should find a
way to record some of it, because I'm coming up with awesome stuff on a daily basis. I'm building upon something really great here, and it needs to be
shared. I've worked really hard at creating "me" and continually developing and self-correcting. Every day is an adventure, and it's never the same.
Like today, I was in a joking mood and just made people laugh all day.
For example, one lady at my church, asked me if I liked tomatoes, and my response was "Oh that's Nightshade, it's poisonous. Did you know if you ate
1000 tomatoes in under 1 minute you'd die?" I have no idea why I said that, but it did cause the ladies to all start cracking up. Her response was
"Jason, tomatoes need sunlight to grow". And of course I said "Yes but they are still Nightshade, lol".
Then I read the wiki to her, that eggplant, peppers, and tobacco are Nightshade as well. And she was like "Aha I got you, you know that tobacco is
worse for you than tomatoes, so eat tomatoes too it's better for you!", keep in mind this woman is from Syria and has a really funny accent while
So I told her, "Look, I admit I know it's good for me, that's why I ate a tomato today, I knew my body needed the nutrition, but I cannot eat many
tomatoes because I'm traumatized, I have PTSD." She's like "???", so I continued, "when I was a kid, my grandfather grew a bunch of tomatoes on the
side of the house and one day pulled one off the vine and ate it raw right there, and there was a worm crawling out, and he went ahead and ate it
anyways, and said 'worms are good for you', and I've been traumatized ever since." Of course I was grinning and laughing while saying this because I'm
just kidding around.
You can't tell by reading what I'm saying that I'm cracking up half the time, that I am enjoying myself. I'm dramatic and can't help but entertain
people with my wit and sarcasm.
There's never a day that's the same for me, life is a canvas and I'm a painter. I always want to create something big and new and be true to myself.
Some days it's tragic and difficult, some days it's exciting and easy, some days I'm just worn out and want to watch a movie or something. I dunno...
every day I wish I could talk to you. I know you can appreciate me as I appreciate you.
Just keep your eyes on the Dream thread k? I'm gonna go in there and unleash. And of course, I just want to impress you (and anyone else that cares to
read it). I realize that's really contradictory and forms a bizarre dichotomy, to write about overcoming ego while expressing ego. But hey, balance in
everything. Gotta maintain some form of balance.
I just can't wait to show off, my only limitation is me. My mind is the limit. If you think that thread is getting good by now, just wait a little bit
longer, let me tie some loose ends up and follow the flow and we'll see what I do. I dunno what I'm going to do yet, I just know I'll 'do' and we'll
see. Maybe I'll bomb? I doubt it but it's possible. But if I'm gonna bomb, I'll make it a nuke ok?
Oh, and keep an eye out for new threads too. I've got so many ideas, I really should be making 5 threads a week minimum. But it's OK, it's OK. I
retain 'me' and only get better as the days pass. My mind is better than ever. I've learned so much, and keep learning as I go forward.
I know most of the stuff I'll write won't get much attention, I know most people won't 'get it' or care, but that's OK for now. I'm writing
I just hope you read and enjoy it. I hope you can experience the magic with me, and it is magical. I hope that you enjoy the journey with me, nothing
could make me happier right now. Just have fun and know that I'm having a blast too, k? And if it looks like I'm having a bad day and expressing
something full of tears, embrace it, experience it with me. Know my passions, and let them ignite your passions. Let's be "ALIVE" in all it's majesty
and glory, the good and the bad.