Earth Finally Gets Noticed [AAM2017]

Earth Finally Gets Noticed

The message came via currier. The entire family was with me when it arrived. After spending half my life in training, I was finally going to get an Ambassador spot on another planet.

The Planetary Office Of Protocol (POOP) had been my home for almost as long as I could remember. The training was intense. The drop-out rate averaged around 98 percent. Only the smartest, the bravest, the strongest survived the tests and constant training.

Once you graduated from POOP though, you were considered the best of the best, a leader, and a representative of the best that the galaxy had to offer. All ambassadors were heralded as the true saviors of the peace that reigned throughout the entire galaxy. We were all proud of our POOP. I was proud of my POOP. My parents never stopped talking about POOP and my gal; she constantly took pictures of me and POOP to show off to her friends.

That isn’t to say that we didn’t have competition in the galaxy.

There are a federation of planets that have their own ambassadorial program. The Federal Army Regional Territories (FART). They are often louder than POOP. Some planets expect POOP and get FART instead. Often times, planets were expecting FART and got POOP instead.

It was a mess.

They (FART) are louder than POOP and certainly make more noise. But POOP is proud of their own efforts and has made massive movements towards eliminating waste in planetary negotiations. As a proud member of POOP, I can say that we have won a number of awards. Specifically, the Global Re Unification Nexus Trophy, or GRUNT.
You won’t find a POOP without a GRUNT, although, to be honest, several FART efforts have been rewarded in GRUNT’s.

But I digress.

The messenger had arrived, the band was ready to play and the target planet was going to be announced.

Everyone was silent as the messenger stood at the podium and unrolled the scroll to read the contents.

“By the Planetary Office Of Protocol, I hereby announce the following; Zek Begreeblow is now the official Ambassador of the planet the inhabitants call, Earth.”

The messenger cleared his throat.
“That is not all. The Planetary Office Of Protocol has also invited the Federal Army Regional Territories to also share in ambassadorial responsibilities of this planet. POOP and FART are both going to visit Earth.”

It was the proudest moment of my life. My parents wept. Earth was in for such an honor to be visited by POOP and FART.


I only hope they take it as seriously as I do.

That was funny bro, nearly sh#t my pants. Good show

a reply to: DBCowboy

“By the Planetary Office Of Protocol, I hereby announce the following; Zek Begreeblow is now the official Ambassador of the planet the inhabitants call, Earth.”

Gee, I hope Zek doesn't order an invasion! If he uses T.U.R.D.S. (Thermonuclear Underwater Rocket Defense System) against us, that would be a crappy situation for sure!

Very funny story! Thanks for the morning laughs!

blend57

I'll revisit the thread after my second cup of coffee.

too funny for this early

a reply to: DBCowboy

Lmao! Awesome DB

I'd like to thank everyone who read this. Your kindness is appreciated.



Let this be a warning!

Friends should not let friends post drunk!

a reply to: DBCowboy

I can always rely on you to bring the laughs.. and the poops and farts.

Lol!

a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Thank you.

I can't wait until this gets entered in the Library of Congress.

a reply to: DBCowboy

Be aware that this is under review with the Urgent Review Into Naughty Epithets, Silly Teleologies, Anal Innuendos, Non-Sequiturs (URINESTAINS).

a reply to: chr0naut



Sounds like my kind of organization!

a reply to: DBCowboy

You're a pistol, you're really funny.

originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: DBCowboy

You're a pistol, you're really funny.

Thank you!

You won me over at (POOP) it striked me like a (SNIFF ) probe , Secondary Neptunian Infiltration Frequency Finder , on Uranus

One can't beat a story that's to funny to read in one breath. .

Double post