a reply to: Rapha
Yesterday early afternoon, I had a strange feeling. I'll tell you everything but know this will be a long post.
I have never felt it before. I was driving to a coffee shop today, listening to music--an album titled "The Devil and God Are Raging Inside of Me," I
was worrying, thinking of all the things that have happened in my life recently. (I think there is an entity in my home, I will link that post at the
bottom). In May, I had a near death experience. Myself and the people I was with felt that it was over for us. Somehow we lived. Although it seems it
was meant to happen--that we were meant to almost die. The circumstances of the day and past years, seemed to lead us to this moment, that we be there
together in that moment and share that experience.
Anyway, I was feeling overwhelmed about everything, is there a entity in my new home, is there a lustful demon following me, is it manipulating me
into thinking that it's a ghost?--I felt horrible and alone. Alone.
Suddenly, I have this feeling. A bright and warm feeling of oneness and love. It felt like a light shining all over me and in me. I have never felt
anything like it before. Not even close. Better than any orgasm or drug or anything. I just felt so loved. I thought to myself, "this is God"--and
then, I cried. I wept in my car because it was just so beautiful. Like I was being touched or hugged by God or the creator or whatever. I have never
been religious. I've been on a "spiritual" path for the past few years and my near-death-experience has intensified it, but I never really thought of
the creator until that moment.
After that feeling today, I reached out to four priests, trying to find answers. I went to a friend's house that I hadn't spend time with in a long
while. He's the most religious person I know. If it's from the other side, it's a good trick because for the first time in my life I have a feeling of
faith. For the first time in my life I believe in Jesus Christ and God.
Anyway, I went to my friend's house and we prayed, he told me if I believed in God and was his child then he wouldn't let anything harm me. I had that
special experience told but on the way home today perhaps I'm being skeptical, thinking that I'm needing more. I had picked up some sage to burn in my
home and some stones for protection to do a smudging. This guy sends me a message that if I truly believe in God and say "In the name of Jesus Christ
evil spirits are not welcome here" or along those lines then they will leave--no sage needed. I thinking, well, 100% faith is hard; this is still
hours old to me. I start chatting with him a bit and he tells me about his faith and main sins and problems: lust, porn, and masturbation--the main
three that I have problems with. The exact ones that I think cause the most negative energy for me. If something is feeding off my negative energy,
its feeding off of energy from those things.
And then, the feeling hits me again. Not nearly as intense, but that our paths were went to cross. That he is like me. We're connected through God.
So now, I'm 100% in. I'm talking to God on the way home. Telling him that I'm his and I'll do what he wants and I want to carry out his plan for me.
When I get home, my dog, doesn't like to come downstairs at night. I think because of the entity. During the day she hangs down there, but at night
when no one is home she is upstairs. I realized this tonight.
I come home and she was up there. She didn't come down until I mentioned going outside to pee. She came down and went outside and did her business and
came up and went back upstairs. I asked her to come down and she wouldn't. She just stared at me from the top of the steps. She looked nervous. I
said, "In the name of Jesus Christ all evil beings must leave this home." I had the door open too. She came immediately downstairs to me. She begin to
act much better.
And I got some great sleep last night.