Is Your phone that FREAKING important to you.Phones And Quality time

originally posted by: kyleplatinum
OP also refered to people walking down the street texting and people driving. In the first sentence.

And the main point in the post was doing it at dinner.

a reply to: TheWhiteKnight

My point was not about texting or talking when driving.

a reply to: Bluesma


See above.

I have this problem more with my husband than kids. He's always in his phone. I am the only one in our family with old flip phone still, but we did get rid of our landline a couple years ago.

What kills me most is when we are having a conversation and he gets a notification or text and ignores the conversation and looks at his phone! If I stop talking and stare at him (), he says, "Go on, I can listen." And I go do something else. There have been times when I ignore my phone if I'm in a conversation, and people say, "don't you want to get that?" or whatever. It can wait, I check when I'm done with what I'm doing.

I really hate it. I would like to smile and be friendly to people in public, but they are staring at their phones. How is that good for society anyway?

a reply to: SR1TX

Yep... We don't need nukes. Just emp. every electronic and just watch everyone kill each other... Especially the teens!

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: Bluesma


See above.

LIke I said,
"...have small children under their responsibility, have arranged social gatherings to develop relational bonds and alliances, or happen to have embarked upon projects of partnering with others in living arrangements like marriage...."

It is destructive to relationships to get together with your loved ones, then completely ignore their presence.
Communication that is verbal and physical is essential to close or intimate relations.

I guess people are free to choose not to get into romantic partnering, not have children, and to separate from their familial ties is they wish (that's what most younger people are choosing now)... but what bothers me is those heading that way without having decided they want to consciously. Suddenly they end up wondering why their spouse is gone, why their young children have self destructive behaviors and habits, or their adult children resent them, their friends have drifted away, etc. As if this all happened to them, instead of being done by them.


Personally , it irks me that a person can jump out of a relationship or marriage in this indirect way, then act like they were unfairly abandoned by the other after. It is passive aggressive. I'd rather have my spouse tell me honestly he wants out then hide in his phone waiting for me to bail first.

originally posted by: Bluesma
Personally , it irks me...

Personally it's none of my business what other people do in their relationships.

a reply to: ImmortalLegend527
This is the only way I can sum up your complaint.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: Bluesma
Personally , it irks me...

Personally it's none of my business what other people do in their relationships.

Okay... but you still wondered about it publicly and asked why others have problems in their relationships in regards to this. Nobody HAD to answer you, of course, but geez... why respond with this when someone dares to be vulnerable and respond to you, answering your question?

If you don't want to hear/read what is happening in others relations, then don't ask them about them!

originally posted by: Bluesma
[
Okay... but you still wondered about it publicly and asked why others have problems in their relationships in regards to this. Nobody HAD to answer you, of course, but geez... why respond with this when someone dares to be vulnerable and respond to you, answering your question?

If you don't want to hear/read what is happening in others relations, then don't ask them about them!

I didn't wonder about them, whether public or private, what other people do in their relationships is their business, nor did I ask why other people do the same, I said 'who cares?'. If you want to become emotionally engaged in other people's affairs that's your prerogative.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus


I didn't wonder about them, whether public or private, what other people do in their relationships is their business, nor did I ask why other people do the same, I said 'who cares?'. If you want to become emotionally engaged in other people's affairs that's your prerogative.

Ah... okay, when you wrote

Who cares what people do with their free time?

I took it as a question. I guess you meant "I don't care..." ?

I care , so I answered the "who" question.


I had to edit my response here because I was very confused by your post. I think you misunderstood my comments as refering to "others" I am not in relationships with... like caring about strangers who have this addiction.

I was writing about "others" who are my loved ones, (except about driving and such, which you say you were not refering to).

So the relationships, friendships, being destroyed are ones I am in, so they are also my affair. The marriage being destroyed is mine, and I think it is valid and normal that this involves me emotionally.

a reply to: Bluesma

In the context of the Original Post, if other people are using their phones while dining, I don't care. It's none of my business. People are so far into other people's asses it's not funny.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: Bluesma

In the context of the Original Post, if other people are using their phones while dining, I don't care. It's none of my business. People are so far into other people's asses it's not funny.

I guess it is different for you then.

My husband is also a salesman. He leaves for several days each week, I miss him. When he finally comes home and cannot interact with me at all because he is focused on Facebook non-stop, it does effect me. I feel the need to interact with him. I guess that is being far up his ass...but most humans need some talking and eye contact to feel a relationship is existing.

originally posted by: Bluesma
My husband is also a salesman. He leaves for several days each week, I miss him. When he finally comes home and cannot interact with me at all because he is focused on Facebook non-stop, it does effect me. I feel the need to interact with him. I guess that is being far up his ass...but most humans need some talking and eye contact to feel a relationship is existing.

No, that just means you two have a poor relationship or he is not effectively managing his time, resources or assets, I also travel every week and I don't spend my time on the phone when I get back on Thursdays/Fridays nor on the weekend.

Read this again:

I see couples walking down the street..texting while walking.I see couples in the car and one is texting or neck is bent over looking at something maybe on social media.I went to a friends house the other day, was invited to dinner and the kids were at the table texting while eating dinner..the wife as well.

This is what the Original Poster was grousing about, it isn't about you and your husband's interpersonal relationship. If your husband is not speaking to you that's your problem, not some outside observer. So I say again, not my business.

It's easy, if you take your partner out to dinner and they take their phone out, tell them to put it away. If they persist, finish your meal then don't take them out to dinner again. If you don't say anything, you've set the expectation that it was ok so you have nothing to complain about.

As far as others doing it, that is really none of your concern so it shouldn't bother you. You do you and let them do them.

I personally hate phones,when I was an executive with a major corporation,I had home phone as well as buisness phone number on my buisness card,they also installed a car phone in my company vehicle,I had an old flip phone I was fine with,then next thing I know kids got me a new one which I had to learn ,to this day I don't know all it's functions,but then I don't care,cool you can play music on them,kind of the way it is anymore,people are so used to communicating by text on computer,then they text each others phone,I thought the phone was invented so people could talk to one another,guess I'm just old

originally posted by: ImmortalLegend527

How does one win against the phones?

Self control. Those devices are designed by the way they feel, sound and look to capture the attention of the customers using them. Sort of addictive in a way.
The irony is many shun the technological Singularity yet are easily attaching to it's seeds...

I see I'm not the only one that is sickened by this smart technology, there is no getting away from it, buy a bag of chips and you see on the bag "like us on facebook".

Ive seen videos of people in 3rd world countries and everyone has a smart phone in their hand but no paved roads or decent healthcare.

This technology is like fire, in the right hands it can bring warmth, light, and cook food. In the wrong hands it will cause destruction and spread like a virus.

I remember 10 years ago parents wouldn't buy their children phones cause they were "too young". Now i see 2 year old kids with tablets.

Without that phone in peoples hands they wouldn't remember any one of their family or friends numbers, i bet they couldn't even get around their city without google telling them what corner to make a left turn on.

I would not be surprised if in a few generations our brains will start to shrink and the capacity for problem solving, deep thought, and even love will be gone for ever.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

Read this again:

I see couples walking down the street..texting while walking.I see couples in the car and one is texting or neck is bent over looking at something maybe on social media.I went to a friends house the other day, was invited to dinner and the kids were at the table texting while eating dinner..the wife as well.

This is what the Original Poster was grousing about, it isn't about you and your husband's interpersonal relationship. If your husband is not speaking to you that's your problem, not some outside observer. So I say again, not my business.

I didn't see this response before.

It seems obvious to me that the OP is bringing up the subject of current technology and social media having a destructive impact upon human relations and communication.

He used examples from his own life and those he observed around him to illustrate what he is refering to.

This is a phenomena that is not limited to him - it is quite wide spread across the globe. If it is not the case for you, I really wonder why you click on and post in threads which are about this?

Do you also go to AL- ANON meetings to stand up and tell the people there, "Who cares what other people do? "

originally posted by: Bluesma
He used examples from his own life and those he observed around him to illustrate what he is refering to.

And his complaints are about what other people are doing. Farm your own land.

What is your motive for this?

For replying? Because I want to.