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The Accidental Fat Shaming Of Women

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posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:37 PM
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Was not sure where to put this, but it is best thought of as a social issue.

When you read that title you might not have known where this post was going, probably you thought to a bad place.

But what I am speaking about here is when anybody says to a woman who is overweight from their perspective "Oh when are you expecting?"
The woman they are talking to is not having a baby.
Essentially it is accidental thoughtless fat shaming, imagine how she feels after that, many plus sized women are already sensitive about this subject so it has to sting.
Is it something people should say to strangers ?
Unless you are visiting an OB-GYNs office, personally I think it isn't a question that should be asked, unless the woman directly tells you she is pregnant.

ATS share your opinion ?

And women of ATS has this ever happened to you, either way, in other words you were showing genuine interest in another woman and.....oh no opps.




posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:43 PM
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a reply to: Blue_Jay33

Don't say that to women. Ever.

It's rude.

That's my opinion.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:43 PM
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This can't be about what it appears to be.
Nobody would ask a woman that question unless they knew she was pregnant.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:48 PM
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a reply to: c2oden

My best friends girlfriend has been asked that question a few times....

I was at a bar with her in southern ca...I didn't hear it directly or I would have said something...

Anyways, she is very attractive, with a little meat on her...there are many assholes afoot.

People are fat shamed all the time, both genders. I was a little doughy in my early teens and experienced plenty of it.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:51 PM
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I always tell chubby girls Congratulations! Is it a boy or girl? Did you choose a name yet? You always want to put the palm of your hand on their belly when you ask. They usually just say, " get out of here you skinny bratt



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:54 PM
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a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I usually am able to tell if they are pregnant because they glow, even if it's not obvious.


edit on 8/10/2017 by Deaf Alien because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:55 PM
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a reply to: Blue_Jay33

It doesn't matter if you hear a crying baby from the belly, don't ever ask that.

There's no reason. And even pregnant folk get tired of getting asked that.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:55 PM
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originally posted by: c2oden
This can't be about what it appears to be.
Nobody would ask a woman that question unless they knew she was pregnant.


Actually it is, they were talking about it on the radio, it happened to the DJ's friend and they weren't happy about it.


+8 more 
posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:56 PM
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I wonder how many women who have been "fat shamed" this way have ever refused a man's offer of a subway seat and told him "I'm not pregnant, just greedy."

I don't wonder at all; the answer is 'zero'.

This 'fat-shaming' stuff is just making a fetish out of a faux pas. If you think about it for more than five seconds, it's self-pitying crap. Because culturally, we do not have negative stereotypes of pregnant women - quite the opposite, we all marvel at the constant miracle of fertility and renewal. No-one looks at a pregnant woman and thinks "Urgh gross." (Well, maybe some do, but most don't).

So it's hardly "shaming" to be mistakenly taken as pregnant when you're actually obese. Quite the opposite.

I'd go so far as to suggest that if you feel ashamed of people thinking you are pregnant when you're actually just a greedy gutbucket, your problems might lie a little closer to home than the minds and manners of other people.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:06 PM
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a reply to: audubon
That is not a realistic perspective.

Some people have metabolism issues, some women for example don't have an ounce of fat on there bodies and they don't work out and eat as much as they want, they pig out on fast food, cheese cake and pasta and never put on a pound, there metabolism burns it all away. Other women look at a salad and they gain 5 pounds. (Hyperbole)
And some change after they actually have a baby, they never had problems with weight until they gave birth then their metabolism changes or they just keep eating like when they were pregnant because they have post partum depression.
edit on 10-8-2017 by Blue_Jay33 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:10 PM
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originally posted by: Blue_Jay33
That is not a realistic perspective.


Yes it is, and the rest of your post is irrelevant handwaving.

People get obese for all sorts of reasons, but the idea that being mistaken as pregnant is somehow a social injury is, no pun intended, infantile.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:12 PM
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originally posted by: Blue_Jay33

But what I am speaking about here is when anybody says to a woman who is overweight from their perspective "Oh when are you expecting?"

ATS share your opinion ?


Don't ask, don't tell.

If you don't like it then lose some bad weight and keep the healthy. Can't blame anyone but yourself on this.

But instead of getting offended, and I get that sometimes there are physical or biological constraints which you don't have any control over, the best thing to do is respond honestly stating this. That way the other person has a better understanding of your situation.

But if you sit on couch and eat chips all day....tisk tisk!
edit on 10-8-2017 by Skywatcher2011 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:13 PM
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I agree OP. Friend of mine growing up had the school gym and supported by a teacher being asked that. At 12 years old to boot, because she had thin legs and arms her belly looked more pronounced, this was due to medication for asthma. I'd have the same if gaining weight. Another reason why, pertaining to the vegetarian thread, I can't eat meat due to allergens and it really makes me bloat. I'd be over 200 pounds if I ate meat, "ain't nobody want to see that"(/sarc) besides fat shamers who enjoy cutting people down because they fear they will become fat. That's what it boils down to.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:13 PM
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I've seen this happen.

Let's be honest, it's a question normally asked with the best of intentions. If the woman in question is actually pregnant, she normally loves to take the opportunity to talk about her pregnancy. And why shouldn't she?

Let's not let the PC police ban us from asking a natural question. Instead let's empower those who are carrying food babies instead of human ones to answer with humour and tact in a manner that allows them to keep face, while correcting a false assumption.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:15 PM
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My girlfriend is going to be popular after she comes out with her "skinny bitch " clothing line.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:15 PM
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a reply to: Blue_Jay33

I did it once...accidental, yep never did it again!

Just as embarrassing for the person who says it as it is for the recipient.

Bigger problem in this world is all the people who say things deliberately, such as the comment section folk who think t is ok to fat shame, life shame, shame just about anything they care in sit in judgement upon really, then there are those people who talk behind your back, in corners, bitching about how someone looks, acts etc.

As a race we are pretty damn disgusting, with many justifying certain viewpoint until it doesn't serve them any longer, it is the nature of the beast and the beast is us.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:18 PM
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a reply to: Blue_Jay33

A woman doesn't have to be obese to be mistaken for pregnant. Ladies get beer bellys too. I asked a tall, slender woman once "oh, when are you due?" She wasn't pregnant! She had an obvious belly and looked about 4 or 5 months. I apologized but it was awkward at work for a while.

Oops! Never again will i ask..



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:18 PM
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Fat people skinny shame me.
I'm in good shape, not skinny, and get told by older women that they'd like to take me home and fatten me up.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:18 PM
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pokes head into the room

'Is this the support group for male pattern baldness'?

'No, this is for fat shaming'. 'You are looking for the room down the hall, to the right with the words "Who cares what other people think of you" above the door'.

'Oh, OK thank you. I will try to not blind you on my way out'.

walks out trying to reduce the glare

At one point, I really regretted being bald (started at age 21). Then I realized who cares what others think, I can't control them or their opinions. The only person I can control is myself. Now I see my chrome dome as being an advantage.

Learn to love yourself and #(&@ what others think.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:19 PM
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originally posted by: Skywatcher2011

originally posted by: Blue_Jay33

But what I am speaking about here is when anybody says to a woman who is overweight from their perspective "Oh when are you expecting?"

ATS share your opinion ?


Don't ask, don't tell.

If you don't like it then lose some bad weight and keep the healthy. Can't blame anyone but yourself on this.

But instead of getting offended, and I get that sometimes there are physical or biological constraints which you don't have any control over, the best thing to do is respond honestly stating this. That way the other person has a better understanding of your situation.

But if you sit on couch and eat chips all day....tisk tisk!




Yeah, see you are the problem aren't you, pushing responsibility for your insensitivity onto the person you are being insensitive about....congratulations on giving us the perfect illustration as to why it is wrong to judge, you just made someone else responsible for how you see things...not good.

Learn to take responsibility.



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