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I am so NOT thankful of my hardships.

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posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:24 PM
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a reply to: geezlouise

I've had it good, and I've had it bad.

It's life.

Tho I will always prefer having it good rather than having it bad.





posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:49 PM
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Kind acts don't always lead to good things, while evil act aren't always that stupid. But we all strive to be Good though.

Ghandi said something about voluntary suffering can lead to spirituality, where as involuntary is just that...suffering. ironically, he might not be a good example in this thread.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 06:50 PM
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It's a matter of perspective. The most happy I've ever been was when I was living in my truck, poor but totally young and free to walk the Earth like Cain.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 07:43 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Same.

a reply to: olaru12

That's awesome.

a reply to: Specimen

Yes.

There's different kinds of sufferings as I am sure I pointed out in the beginning of the OP. I think it's dangerous when people just take some cliche expression for granted and never put forth the effort to really truly understand where all the words are coming from.



posted on Aug, 10 2017 @ 10:31 PM
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a reply to: geezlouise

Easier said then done I'm afraid, for talk is cheap. Forgiveness can be a very tough thing especially when it come to certain types of trauma that I'm guessing and just don't want to know.

Turning the other cheek has some meaning when it comes to, nagging and bragging demons. Usually I tend to agree, and just let them walk on water...where'd they go?



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 05:35 AM
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There is ALWAYS something good or to be learned out of any situation. You can either carry the bitterness and live in shame, regret, or however you feel or you can learn from the hardships and carry on. This really depends if your a pessimistic or optimistic. What wolf do you feed, the light or the dark? The one you feed is the one you become.



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 10:10 AM
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I agree. Abuse is the worst thing in every form 👎




posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 04:01 PM
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a reply to: Bwomp83

I think you didn't read the entire original post.

My choice to truly forgive- which is, ok, maybe harder than performing the mental gymnastics of turning a horrific event into a beautiful blessing in disguise because it's so simple that people can't believe it'll do anything of any importance- really leaves no room for any kind of bitterness. But I understand that that's what people will think- they can't fathom that being unthankful of something could still leave room for an amazing appreciation of life. But I promise, it's possible.



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 04:57 PM
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originally posted by: geezlouise
a reply to: Bwomp83

I think you didn't read the entire original post.

My choice to truly forgive- which is, ok, maybe harder than performing the mental gymnastics of turning a horrific event into a beautiful blessing in disguise because it's so simple that people can't believe it'll do anything of any importance- really leaves no room for any kind of bitterness. But I understand that that's what people will think- they can't fathom that being unthankful of something could still leave room for an amazing appreciation of life. But I promise, it's possible.


There is this thing in life that has to exist which is balance. People these days have a very hard time understanding this and accepting this. Where there is darkness there is light, where there is hot there is cold, where there is evil there is love. There will be evil people in this world and amazing people. We the good can keep combating the evil while the evil keep striking the innocence. That will never change. When something horrible happens you dont have to be blessed by it or think it was something great. But look at it and know it is real, it can happen to anyone at any time, and learn you can not become complacent. Its very simple, enjoy life while you can but know there is evil that exist and there is nothing you can do. God allows it to exist for a reason.



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 05:17 PM
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a reply to: geezlouise



Because I have actually had people urge me to be thankful for childhood abuse...


I have found words to be a mistake when it comes to trying to sympathize with other peoples suffering.

Far more effective, from my perspective, is recognizing what they need, and if what they need is not to be burdened by words that induce confusion, dissociation, and anger, I think the compassionate thing to do is just that: honor their needs. Only a person who wants to taste conflict should be subjected to it; and even if they say: "stop", you should stop.

I have similarly found myself jaded towards reading and thinking, particularly if I'm underfed, underslept, and anxious - that sort of anxiety when your heart just keeps beating, and beating, and beating, with no end in sight.

The question of God, for instance, is a vexing one for me - I find it to be too big - too large - and even a bit offensive, logically speaking, because of the way we grow in this world, what we become conditioned towards - in terms of seeking our enlivenment and wellbeing - and how certain religious viewpoints (i.e. "Debbie downers") literally throw a wrench in that process, and frankly, the damage to that persons emotional wellbeing that is caused seems to be worse and more severe than if the person just shut-their-#ing-mouth, sought to understand what the other was feeling, and not project their theological convictions (i.e. their needs) on people who are more or less trying to cultivate a healthy inner and interpersonal life.

I value science and reason. I find the "inch by inch" approach - let it take thousands of years for all I care - to be far more comforting and relaxing than religion - which feels oppressive, forceful, self-flagellating, disenlivening, and counterproductively self-righteous. The whole idea of the world being created and made to put human beings into forced subjugation - from the perspective of our already existent and developed meaning-structures (as explained by systems theory) - and furthermore, for that meaning-system to be so grating that it compels one group to kill of another group, to be cruel, and senseless. Whether or not it is ultimately cruel I can't know, but I can understand the 'white-walkers' symbolism of game-of-thrones mythology, and I agree, the idea that God creates a universe to worship himself - appears ludicrous. One wonders whether God would have done better than to have human beings war against one another in this way over the way and manner we exist and experience ourselves. Indeed, I sometimes find myself wondering whether greater compassion can be found in the Christian and Buddhist attitude than the Judeo-Christian one which, from my own personal experience, is often enacted in ways that fundamentally express a traumatized psychology.



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 05:25 PM
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And I think it's time we all faced it: SOMETIMES BAD THINGS HAPPEN AND NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES OUT OF IT.


Don't you think saying this is better than saying nothing at all? And so, wouldn't that mean expressing how hard it is to speak good of a trauma that has been torturous for you? I feel like you saying that is a good: its just not a change that demands or expects complete transformation.

You know my history, and like you, particularly if a trauma-acts-up (flashback), my attitude changes. I agree that it is painful being expected to become a symbol of transformation, when in fact, as you say, trauma doesn't go away: its a fugging horrendous b*itch of an interruption in psychological wellbeing. On the other hand, I wont say it doesn't make me more compassionate - or desire to be more compassionate, given I know what I've gone through, and how I'd like the other to feel comfortable/relaxed in their bodies.



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 05:40 PM
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a reply to: Bwomp83

Well, entropy and symmetry is basically what the universe is. Things build up and fall apart. Our bodies are a function of the former process, yet identity, fun, love, excitement, exploration, requires degrees of stress i.e. challenge, for life to stay meaningful and worthwhile.

For instance, we're fugging (I like this term
) the Earth so bad that, if we manage to survive the Donald Trump presidency, it would make good sense to develop the technological means to reverse climate change as much as possible - unless you happen to enjoy constant raining, humidity, and unpredictable weather changes.
edit on 11-8-2017 by Astrocyte because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 07:08 PM
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originally posted by: Raggedyman
If christians choose to be thankful in all situations, it's because we have a promise of better things ahead, we dwell in that promise from Jesus.


So, it looks like you're being thankful of a promise from a God in a situation.

Just hear me out.

People can definitely be thankful of something in every situation, no matter how bad that situation is. Like yes, we can always be thankful of God, of family, love, friends, beauty, good times, and etc. Whatever it is you want to be thankful for at any given moment? You are free to be thankful for, no matter what. But I think people really do get confused and just start fugging thanking EVERYTHING... and we don't have to do that. That's all I'm saying.



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 07:33 PM
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originally posted by: geezlouise
I think we would all do better if we could learn how to discern what to be thankful about and what not to be thankful about....

....Because I have actually had people urge me to be thankful for childhood abuse... and people are actually feigning appreciation for their own twisted abuses. Like how they are so thankful that they suffered a drug addiction but now they've recovered and omg now they're a fugging hero. Or how they were so abused by their fathers but now they won't recycle the abuse because instead they are thanking the abuse for molding them into the beautiful strong people they are today. And now we have another fugging hero.

And for one, I'd rather live in a place that doesn't fugging need hero's....


We don't get to choose between a world with trauma and one without. If we experience survivable trauma, we have to try to overcome the trauma and gain/grow from it, or be destroyed by it.

"Thankful" is just not a term that really applies to someone still in the midst of dealing with trauma.

A traumatic experience could destroy a person or be the catalyst for greatness.

Personally, I have grown and gained from some horrific experiences. "Thankful" isn't exactly how I would describe them though. (ETA: I can see myself saying "thankful" for lack of a more precise term). But I am happy with how I handled the trauma and gained from it.

I think you can be thankful for- and resentful of all kinds of trauma. It just depends on what you are able to gain from it.

You have survived trauma, GeezLouise. Can it still destroy you or are you strong enough to use it to your advantage?

I wouldn't fault you for either but I hope you never *over*use it as an excuse. (By that, I mean, I think you are entitled to use it as an excuse, now and then. But don't let it hold you back.)
edit on 8/11/2017 by MotherMayEye because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 11 2017 @ 09:25 PM
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originally posted by: Astrocyte
a reply to: Bwomp83

Well, entropy and symmetry is basically what the universe is. Things build up and fall apart. Our bodies are a function of the former process, yet identity, fun, love, excitement, exploration, requires degrees of stress i.e. challenge, for life to stay meaningful and worthwhile.

For instance, we're fugging (I like this term
) the Earth so bad that, if we manage to survive the Donald Trump presidency, it would make good sense to develop the technological means to reverse climate change as much as possible - unless you happen to enjoy constant raining, humidity, and unpredictable weather changes.


Trumps presidency has as much to do with climate change as cow farts. The world is very much alive and evolving as much as any other living being. Millions of years of data shows earth constantly changing, some slow changes, some fast rapid freezing changes. Weather will forever be changing and unpredictable rather we are here on earth or not.
edit on 11-8-2017 by Bwomp83 because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 12 2017 @ 12:55 AM
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a reply to: geezlouise

Yeah
I have a couple of issues
It seems you are trying to attack people's faith in Christ and being thankful to God, you can't understand that
And
There is ample research that suggests that dwelling on the bad things in life will. BRing you down or keep you down

Be thankful for the good things, dwell on the positives, try and live a happy, friendly and outgoing life, be loving, be caring, be helpful and you can change your outlook.

Dwell in crap and you live in it, you seem to be dwelling in misery.

I disagree with you, it's still ok
edit on 12-8-2017 by Raggedyman because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 12 2017 @ 01:43 AM
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a reply to: geezlouise


Trauma gave me a choice, I could give up assume the cradle position and start rocking, or I could get dust off and get on with it.

We all suffer in different ways, how we use that suffering in going forward literally shapes who we are. Life is about choices, you either make good ones or bad ones and ultimately those choices steer our lives.



posted on Aug, 12 2017 @ 03:16 AM
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I get what you are saying and I agree with it. We should never be thankful for the bad things. But if we find a way to create a positive perspective from a bad thing that happened to us...then for that (the new perspective ) we can be thankful.

Btw...I'm glad to know that you are doing better. Sounds like you have turned a corner. ....so to speak.



posted on Aug, 12 2017 @ 04:29 PM
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a reply to: HarryJoy

Thank you Harry!

It's like you read the entire OP.

I still hold a slightly different perspective though that I am not thankful for. LOL.

I tend to think that pain doesn't make people extra compassionate or give people any extra kind of special knowledge that's useful to our survival. Often times, it's all for naught/unnecessary- like we would all have done better without it.

And I believe that pain turns people into Te Ka. I know I've been a total Te Ka. But sometimes I am Te fiti, too. And if you've ever had a broken bone you'd know that the last thing on your mind will be the starving children in third world countries, or even what your neighbors or family members need. Because pain makes people extremely incredibly selfish, and I don't judge. I choose to forgive. We've all got a little Te Ka inside of us and that's ok. And it's about breaking that cycle of abuse too but STILL I will never be thankful that we are ever even in the position to choose whether or not to break the cycle.

And also? It feels like only predator types would actually have the gall to accuse a victim for being weak for not being able to "get over" or "take advantage" of a traumatic event in their lives. Because doesn't the predator want you to be ok with it... so that when they do it to you they can say, "see? You're ok, it didn't hurt, there's nothing wrong with it." And then try to use you as a example for how their abuse was the catalyst of your greatness? And then at that point is it really abuse? So then now all of the sudden, it's ok to rape children because it's not abuse.

Just think about that for a moment.
edit on 12-8-2017 by geezlouise because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 13 2017 @ 06:04 AM
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The only thing that matters is coping strategy. Some need to see meaning or purpose. I don't. I just want to get from a to b.😶
edit on 13-8-2017 by QueenofWeird because: (no reason given)




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