a reply to: ReyaPhemhurth
I know my opinion is the unpopular one and it goes against the grain, but I am steadfast in it. If you feel it is important for you to attend the
funeral, then what you need to do is let his parents know and let them know you are concerned about a confrontation with the fiance and ask them to
help ensure that doesn't happen. Be honest, be upfront. They don't want drama either.
Unless you are confronted by her, you really most likely won't have any interaction with her. But only do this if you feel it's important for you. You
already know it's important to his parents, but you don't owe them anything more than you want to give them.
I don't really know how important you were to his parents and to him, even though you two broke up. Sometimes ex's retain a very important place with
each other, even if both have moved on to other people. The important thing for you to do is look yourself in the mirror and say, "Can I live with
this decision without regret?" and go from there. Regrets pile up and can be heavy over time, so be wise and minimize the ones you gather.
People may speak badly about him and his suicide and how it shows he didn't care, but when your head gets messed up and your emotions are all up and
down and all over and everything is spinning...you're feeling cornered or trapped and can't find the head space to think clearly, even irrational
choices sometimes seem to make perfect sense. I say that, because if you can, you should forgive him. Life is too short to let it be filled with
negativity when you can fill it with positive things.
You are very welcome - you have received a lot of great advice and words in this thread and I am glad they help you. When my mother died and I had no
one, it was online friends who broke into my real life and made sure I made it through, even when my relatives didn't come to help me out. Just
because it's online, doesn't mean it can't help you through bad situations. Especially when you don't have anyone real time that can help.
Life and death are messy businesses and when you add in drama, it can all be intolerable. Whatever decisions you make, get at least a good night's
sleep first. Two if you can. You should never make big decisions if your brain is fuzzy. Then make the decisions that you can live with and still look
yourself in the eyes in your mirror.
At your service.
edit on 2-8-2017 by Thanatos0042 because: (no reason given)