I could tell a story or 2

Hi everyone, my name is stl and I live in one of our major cities. I decided to join this forum because it seems that others who have been through the program(s) are also posting here. I was one of those children selected for the "gifted and talented" class in school. I have had psychic perceptions since I was a child. I used to make a game of sitting in the food court of my local mall and tell the person I was with exactly what everyone was going to do before they did it. Later I also became a spiritual healer, using touch and words to alter a person's well being. I started learning manifestation, but I experienced a frustrating cycle of reversals, where what used to work properly was now having the reverse effect.

I also started having psychic dreams, the earliest of which was around the 1st grade. I remember the feeling of being on the playground, talking to my friend about my dream, and when I said "and you aren't going to believe me", I had the full realization of precognisance and deja vu. From that moment on I started paying attention to my dreams, since the psychic dreams had a different feel than regular dreaming. While remaining vigilant of further psychic dreams, I became aware of shared dreams with other people near my age (millenials, likely) being assigned tasks and being tested while in the dream state. I met another girl with a deeply troubled past and psychic dreams. We both remembered one of the dreams, as in we remembered interacting with each other while in the dream.

From my early childhood I have memories of being in a psychiatrists office, with red carpeting and wood-paneled walls, pretty fancy for a medical office in the 80's. The building in which that office was contained was torn down in the early 90's, as was the medical building nearby. It would be over 20 years until I spoke to a psychologist again.

And I did end up talking to a psychologist. I told him a short version of what I am telling you here now, and he acted nonchalant but he clearly had -nothing- to say, well not nothing, he gave me an oft-repeated line from earlier sessions "we went through what we went through to become what we are meant to become, so that we can do what we are meant to do". As I would leave his office we usually set the next appointment, but that last time he suggested "I call him when I need him" which was a pretty clear indication that I had just scared him in some way. Odd since I had shared stories of telepathy and celestial love with him in earlier sessions, and his response was "I'm so proud I get to watch you become what you're meant to become".

I have interacted with foreign and domestic intelligence services, mostly because of my own actions. In my teen years I became vehemently anti-government (really it was anti-corruption, but I was not very discerning), and during that time I would catch people surveilling me. I would let them know I caught them, even knocking on a surveillance vans windows and encouraging them to leave. Foreign agencies became interested in me when I got online and started speaking on government policies and foreign relations. The 2 countries who were most successful at targeting me with information were Russia and England. But I had become tightly walled off from being manipulated, so I lived a fairly normal life (with ptsd).

All of the psychic baggage became explainable within the context of my reincarnation as a deity. Now I view myself as a fallen heavenly being, living through this life multiple times (a time spiral) as I shift my essence from a destroyer to a nurturer. I don't believe I was forced into this belief, as it calls back to my essence before I think anyone was manipulating my beliefs.

I am posting because it's hard to experience all this, and know others may be as well, but not able to talk about it for reasons of public ridicule and national security. So yeah, that's my introduction.

I still have more stories to tell.

Disclaimer: I am the first person to admit I may be delusional.

Let me be the first to say welcome my friend to the dirt! Stranger things have happened and I for one wouldn't put it past any state to follow and harass gifted people. I hope you enjoy your stay and please do share stories that you may have. The other members would love a break from the politics.a reply to: seenthelight

I'll be the first to agree that you are delusional.

Welcome to ATS.

originally posted by: seenthelight
Disclaimer: I am the first person to admit I may be delusional.

You seem to be under the assumption a psychologist and psychiatrist are the same thing, but they are not.

I work in a psychiatric hospital, I would recommend seeing one perhaps if you are struggling.

a reply to: seenthelight

And this is what you were meant to do?

Welcome, probable disinfo agent/shill. Enjoy modern ATS.

a reply to: seenthelight

my reincarnation as a deity. Now I view myself as a fallen heavenly being

What you to, you mean am not the only one.

Dude I have been trying to tell people on ATS that I am actually a god for about a decade and nobody believes me.

Welcome.

Most interesting intro I've ever read; and the spookiest. So, right now,, are you a good deity or a bad deity? Should we fear you?

a reply to: Allaroundyou

Thank you very much

a reply to: and14263

lol

Thank you

a reply to: OccamsRazor04

Thank you for your good intentions. I have seen both a psychiatrist and psychologist, and told both about the things I was experiencing.

a reply to: Illumimasontruth

Very much a shill.

Don't trust me, I'm not who I say I am.

But thank you for the welcome!

a reply to: OtherSideOfTheCoin

Just remind people that the classical pantheon walked among mortals. Not really a useful thing for others to believe though, if anything I have been trying to find the non-believers because they are more likely to poke holes in any part of this experience that may be self-delusion.

a reply to: Justso

Neutral, I haven't hurt anybody in a long time.
Good, I am focused on changing myself for the better.

originally posted by: seenthelight
a reply to: Illumimasontruth

Very much a shill.

Don't trust me, I'm not who I say I am.

But thank you for the welcome!

None of us are fellow ATSer. Now I already partially trust you.

Resurrection and Lost Time
(story #2)

When I was a teenager, I was suicidal. One day I decided to swallow a bottle of pills. I remember crying and swallowing pills, and then an instant later I am outside, calm, and walking towards a friend's house. I have an injection mark on my chest just left of the sternum, above my heart. I assume this was from an EMT or ER doctor hitting me with adrenaline. So I like to tell people I was resurrected.

The strange part of that wasn't swallowing a bottle of pills and surviving. The time in-between ingesting the pills and walking merrily down the street isn't even a hole in my memory, it just doesn't exist. But, I have pieced a bit of it together, very little of it. I was sitting with a friend in my bedroom, and she says I got a smile on my face like "I suddenly understood something", and then I walked out the door. My memory turned back on during that walk, but I was clearly conscious before that.

I had another memory loss thing happen, but this one wasn't as mysterious to me. I was hanging out with a friend and took a big hit of salvia. I don't know what happened after that, but I remember coming back to consciousness with memory missing. I asked my friend what happened while I was out of it, and all she is willing to say, even to this day, is "You're really something else". I have pleaded that any information she gives me about that lost time would help me understand myself better, but she just wont.

No matter how crazy the thoughts I am willing to believe are, there is something my consciousness is hiding from my person.

a reply to: seenthelight

the replies you have received thus far have been uncharacteristically trite.... rude, even. honestly, ive never seen an intro thread go down like that.

your few entries here are the most interesting thing ive read on this site in months. i beg you to keep writing and in return i will promise to keep reading.

welcome to ATS, stl.

Work for the NSA, or nah?
(story #3)

When I was a teenager, I was active in the hacking scene that existed at that time. Specifically, I helped (re)develop the social engineering methods that became common. I say redevelop because in retrospect, a lot of the stuff we were doing as hackers were the same kinds of things intel agencies would have used, but kept secret. There are 2 interesting things that came out of that experience.

I was approached and offered a job working for my government. I turned it down because I viewed the government as one of the great evils in the world. Nothing else ever came of that. (mostly)

One of the most prolific and skilled coders on the scene was named solo. He and a number of other veterans of the scene all disappeared around the same time that I turned down that job. Maybe a coincidence that one of the NSA's best known hackers is named solo, maybe not.