posted on Jun, 24 2017 @ 11:31 AM
a reply to: EternalShadow
I know with me, I keep my emotions locked inside. My wife says I don't smile a lot. For someone to say that Physical abuse and verbal abuse
shouldn't affect someone's life, they themselves have never lived it. Counselor's think they have all the answers and think they understand the hurt
we all feel inside. It's good to talk about it, but the abuser creates a life long impression on how we react. I grew up in a family where there was
a lot of physical fighting and verbal abuse. I made a conscience decision when I was in my teens I would never raise my family in the same kind of
When I got married, three weeks into my marriage my wife got me upset about something. I became extremely angry and was ready to strike her. My wife
clearly saw that and said "don't you dare hit me!" Thank God she said that, because it hit me like a ton of bricks! I stopped and realized I was
going to continue something I had been subject to my entire life! I'm proud to say I have never laid a finger on my wife nor my kids through our
entire marriage and we've been married for 33 years! I broke that chain of physical abuse.
The verbal abuse I continue to struggle on. I've said things I've had to apologized for. My kids and my wife know of my physical and verbal abuse
during my upbringing. I always refused to bring my children into the home where my mother and eldest sister did all the physical abuse. (My father
passed away when I was only 2 years old). I feared subjecting them to seeing arguments, verbal abuse and physical altercations, so I kept them away.
I allowed my mother and sister to visit out house, but under the conditions there would be no arguments or fighting or they would be thrown out. My
mother and sister decided to stay away and never stopped by to visit our kids. My children never had a close relationship with my mother or eldest
sister because they knew of the abuse they subjected me to. They say you mellow as you get older. However, my mother still had the anger and
meanness in her up until she died at the age of 95. She actually brought my second oldest sister to tears with her verbal abuse when she went to
visit my mother at her assisted living residence. My sister was 62 yrs. old at the time, my mother was 91!
My one sister moved away as soon as she got married, and my other sister lives alone and never got married. Both decisions were directly related to
the abuse they received. The one sister married someone she knew wasn't good for her, but she married him as a way to escape from all the abuse.
She's now going through a divorce. She and her kids don't talk to her husband because he's an alcoholic that lives only to drink and get drunk. He's
passed out drunk many times on the kitchen floor and his kids were embarrassed to bring any of their friends to the house. My other sister lacked
confidence and became depressed because of the constant verbal abuse from my mother about her weight. She never felt attractive, no matter how many
people complimented her on how pretty she was.
What's really hard to accept is how many people who knew my mother thought she was the sweetest person they ever met! The people at her assisted
living residence found out real quick that my mother wasn't as sweet as they thought! They even had to kick my eldest sister off the premises during
her visits to see my mother. My eldest sister would argue with the staff and disturb the other residents at the facility.
It's sad and embarrassing to say, but my other two sisters and myself didn't shed a tear when my mother passed. It was like a ton of bricks were
lifted off our shoulders. We have no contact with our eldest sister and we'll finally feel free once she passes.