I am sheeple

Sheeple are always in a flock so there has never been a need for the singular form of Sheeple. I am one Sheeple.

Anyways, I would like to describe how wonderful my life is. I barely cook cause why would I take the time and effort to?

Anyways, it gives me more time to scroll through my Facebook feed. I like to average about 25 likes a day. Some days I take an extra couple of hours to make sure I like everyone's posts. Once I get past 25 I stop counting.

Anyways, I'm pretty good multitasker if you didn't know. I can watch T.V. , order pizza, scroll through Facebook, listen to the radio, drink a case of beer, and smoke a pack of cigarettes. You don't need to be jealous I've been practicing a long time.

Anyways, I really don't see the point in voting. Everyone kept telling me to vote. So I ask them "what do I do?". Well they told all the information I needed was on the news. I have to say that news channel was pretty darn entertaining. I watched for about 5 minutes then I got tired. I voted though. Yep, pretty proud of myself. Got in the booth and when I looked at the piece of paper it didn't have any of the letters. You know like at school a,b,c,d. There were 4 choices so I picked the third one down because the answer is always c. It was a tricky vote but I think I passed it.

Anyways, I'm outta smokes. I can't type without smokes. Looks like I'm low on beers too. I could wait and get it cheaper from my buddy but I really want some smokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've made up my mind. I'm going to spend extra money on a taxi to get those smokes. I need those. I can't wait. I gotta have them... Okay, cabs on the way... Check the bank account.YES!!! It is a good day today. My balance is at $20, man overdraft is the best thing ever. Well I gotta go guys.

Anyways, Being sheeple is pretty awesome you should come join the flock there is always room for more. You can leave me some questions if you want, but if there are too many words I probably won't reply. Sheeple for life.

a reply to: DiaJax

Sounds lovely.
Baa?

You called a cab??????

TRUE Sheeple use their Uber app! Geeez.

a reply to: DiaJax

Anyways, I'm pretty good multitasker if you didn't know. I can watch T.V. , order pizza, scroll through Facebook, listen to the radio, drink a case of beer, and smoke a pack of cigarettes. You don't need to be jealous I've been practicing a long time.

Whats to be jealous of? Enjoy the slow death from Diabetes, Sclerosis and Emphezima.

a reply to: DiaJax

Shut the flock up!

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: DiaJax

Anyways, I'm pretty good multitasker if you didn't know. I can watch T.V. , order pizza, scroll through Facebook, listen to the radio, drink a case of beer, and smoke a pack of cigarettes. You don't need to be jealous I've been practicing a long time.

Whats to be jealous of? Enjoy the slow death from Diabetes, Sclerosis and Emphezima.

That was clear sarcasm from the OP. At least that's how i took it. I should know, i do those things too. You don't have to be a true intellectual wizard to poison your body.

originally posted by: Finspiracy

originally posted by: intrptr
a reply to: DiaJax

Anyways, I'm pretty good multitasker if you didn't know. I can watch T.V. , order pizza, scroll through Facebook, listen to the radio, drink a case of beer, and smoke a pack of cigarettes. You don't need to be jealous I've been practicing a long time.

Whats to be jealous of? Enjoy the slow death from Diabetes, Sclerosis and Emphezima.

That was clear sarcasm from the OP. At least that's how i took it. I should know, i do those things too. You don't have to be a true intellectual wizard to poison your body.

I survived thirty five years of self abuse so know whereof I speak...

(no sarcasm intended)

a reply to: intrptr

My sincere respect to you. I am 35 now, maybe there is hope but it seems far away or lost.

To stay somewhat on topic, i have started to think i am sheep(le) too. I used to think i am more aware and more awake than the average person, i know more about things that are hidden from the general public. Almost constant mental pain and a few episodes of hospitalization. I think all the fearmongering, all the horrifying stuff i have read people do on a daily basis, has brainwashed me so bad that the brains have worn out.

a reply to: DiaJax

Become an enlightened sheep instead. Cook healthy cheap food. Walk to the shop. Give up likes on fb. Give up smokes. Vote left of center. Don't use an overdraft for booze.
Star from me for the irony of your post

a reply to: EnlightenedSheep

Your username combined with what you just wrote was kind of amusing. Very wise tips also.

a reply to: Finspiracy

Thank you. I'm no more enlightened than any other sheep though. Being poor when young taught me how to cook with ingredients. Being poor meant taxi's were never a choice. Walking 4 miles to the cheapest shop was natural. Being poor meant smoking would be a stupid choice. Being older means I walk to my friends homes to check on their status.
Poor means something completely different in 21st century Britain compared to the 70' and 80's.

I'm surprised the person posting the topic didn't mention the full satellite TV package. That is of course essential.

a reply to: DiaJax

Sheeperson?

That would be politically correct but it lacks the ring.

Sheeson? Ugh. Sheepson? Worse.

Sheep? Already taken.

How about 'fleecee'?

a reply to: EnlightenedSheep

SkepticOverlord, really now.

a reply to: EnlightenedSheep

I remember that time. We were all poorer then, and perhaps the better for it.

a reply to: Astyanax
Better yes definitely. We walked to see friends face to face. We ate local produce. Actually cooked with ingredients. We fixed things when they broke. We had new things to talk about when seeing friends because we hadn't read all about it in a newsfeed last night. We spoke to strangers in the pub. Hitch hiking was socially acceptable. People offered road workers a cup of tea if they were in their street.
Bah, I'm romanticising. 70's and 80's Britain was different though. Madly different.

You called a cab??????

TRUE Sheeple use their Uber app! Geeez.

My fellow sheeple, my flock doesn't have that German cab app in our area but I eagerly await its arrival.

Whats to be jealous of? Enjoy the slow death from Diabetes, Sclerosis and Emphezima.

Hey man I don't speak French, so if your swearing at me.... that's rude.

Shut the flock up!

You can't stop the flock, cause we gonna flock you up.

I remember when I first got flocked up.... join the flock its great.

Become an enlightened sheep instead. Cook healthy cheap food. Walk to the shop. Give up likes on fb. Give up smokes. Vote left of center. Don't use an overdraft for booze.

No way man, I'm a sheeple for life.

Cookings hard and I can only eat mac and cheese so many days a week.

When I walk I get tired and sweaty. Then I have to take a shower. Then I realize I have no clean towel. Then I realize I have no clean clothes. Then I'm dirty tired and sweaty. It a bad cycle that I try to avoid as much as possible.

GIVE UP FB!!!! you mean face book right.... No way. Its how I stay connected. How will I know when there is another cute kitty video? How will I know what my friends had for breakfast? How will I know when my birthday is? Face book offers endless knowledge. I don't think its possible to live without face book. Don't they give you an account as soon as your born?

Give up my sweet unfiltered camels? I'm addicted I can't give them up. I need them to live. Don't you know what addicted means? I can't think straight without them. I have to have one after I eat. Before I eat. Halfway through eating. Just before bed. Right in the morning. The list goes on. The reason the general surgeon writes his warning on cigarettes is to stop people from getting addicted. No one told me about the warning now its to late. I'm addicted.

Vote left of center.......... uh............ so I had the voting sheet turned the wrong way. OH MAN, it wasn't a,b,c,d? Crap well what did I put in then. Turn the sheet...... what about right of center? Cause that's what I voted. Do I get anything for voting?

Overdraft is not only for booze. It can be for smokes, mac and cheese, burritos, tacos, pizza. Overdraft is magic money of course I know I can use it on more than just booze, duh.

I'm surprised the person posting the topic didn't mention the full satellite TV package. That is of course essential.

What? I thought everyone had full satellite package? When you pay less you get lower quality why would I want the worst quality of T.V. shows?

Sheeperson?

That would be politically correct but it lacks the ring.

Sheeson? Ugh. Sheepson? Worse.

Sheep? Already taken.

How about 'fleecee'?

Yeah, we got together as a flock, we call it a flocking, and tried to figure it out one day. We ended up all sitting on our phones sending each other funny videos. So we actually haven't officially decided yet.

Better yes definitely. We walked to see friends face to face. We ate local produce. Actually cooked with ingredients. We fixed things when they broke. We had new things to talk about when seeing friends because we hadn't read all about it in a newsfeed last night. We spoke to strangers in the pub. Hitch hiking was socially acceptable. People offered road workers a cup of tea if they were in their street.

No way. your are so full of it. This stuff only happens in movies. Movies are fake, everyone knows that.

Only chefs can cook real food.

When something is broken you buy a new one.

There has always been a newsfeed.....right? My first memories as a child were learning how to input my face book login.

Your never supposed to talk to strangers! I don't know why but I remember you don't talk to stranger.

What crazy place did you grow up that you risk your life riding with stranger. Not possible. What your saying can't be real. you guys are just messing with me . Ha Ha ha funny jokes guys you got me.

a reply to: DiaJax

Thanks for making me smile! First smiles i have had in a few days. Refreshing.

a reply to: Finspiracy

To stay somewhat on topic, i have started to think i am sheep(le) too. I used to think i am more aware and more awake than the average person, i know more about things that are hidden from the general public.

We are all sheeple to some degree. Question is do you know the difference? Sounds like you do.
Like Morphias said to Neo after waking him up, welcome to the real world.