Universe taketh away and Universe giveth back...
After being b1tch slapped by technology last week it dawned on me, "It is Father's Day"! So I went out to have brunch.
Place is busy (figured as much). I found a lone stool at the end of the bar, furthest from the TV. Heck, I am only here for the huevos and muffin de
Inglaterra with a good dash of Tabasco. It is golf. Hang back and down a cerveza (I don't know why this is coming out in Spanish! Maybe it is living
in the constant 75 degree heat! lol). My back is to the main room and idiots and tourists walk in and mosey up to the bar where the wait staff are
clearly loading their drinks for the main room ("Can I get a Stella?" "We brew our own beer here..." "Sir, can you step aside for a second..."
"Huh?")
The din from the main room goes down a level. I can "feel" a wall of bodies behind me. Some lady is leaning in trying to get the bartender's
attention, "Hello? Hello!?? Is this area open seating? Hello?"
Not missing a beat, I turn and say, "During brunch it is normally hosted seating. But brunch is almost over so I will ask my main man here... Hey
[insert bartender's name here], is brunch seating over? Are we at normal bar seating?" [Bartender], "Yeah, the main crowd has died down and we are
back to open seating."
Lady, looking confused, "What?" Me, "Anywhere that is not on the carpet is bar seating now. You can grab a table anywhere and your wait-person will be
with you..." Lady, to [insert bartender's name here], "Can we sit at that table there? I have 6... no, 9 people..." [Insert bartender's name here],
[repeats about open seating]. Lady and her entourage move off towards the open table. That is about the time I notice that it all women! Tall,
athletic, young, good looking, women! Half the crowd died down when the came in and the other noise was blocked by their 6-foot frames!
Guys are gawking. Girls are doing that, "I'm not looking but am measuring myself up" thing that girls think us dumb men don't see or notice. And I am
thinking, "D@mn! I am at the wrong table!"
El desayuno is served. The place is packed with even more dumb people standing around looking for a stool at the bar (not knowing that the area on the
tile is all bar seating). I have no idea what happened in golf but guessing by Tiger's body language, he did no better the final round than he did on
Saturday. Dad jokes are shared. People come and go. I have a few more cervazas. Brunch/linch service is officially over and their is an hour wait
until dinner service starts when I hear Lady, "Oh! You're still here! Thanks for all your help!" And I get a light hug from behind.
Me, "No problem! Hope you had a wonderful meal!" Lady, who I am guessing is actually, coach, taking her team out for Father's Day brunch, says, "It
was wonderful! Have a good day!"
I turn back to study my beer and think about math or women's world cup, when to the amazement of [insert bartender's name here] and mine alike, the
girls, one by one, says, "Thanks" or "Good-bye" while filing past and rubbing my back like I am Moki in some Chinese restaurant!
Not knowing what else to do, I sat there and let the Amazon women praise/bless me to the obvious envy of every man in the place!!! [Insert bartender's
name here] says, after they left, and to me, while smiling, "D@mn [TEOT], save some for the rest of us!"
Either I have been touched by the Muses, or, I am ready to die an honorable death upon the field of battle!
Thanks Coach! Thanks Girls!
And Thank You Universe, you silly thing, for the "human" touch after the week of segregated technology!
edit on 17-6-2019 by TEOTWAWKIAIFF because: verbs amke senteces make sense sometime