Baddogma's Other Meta Cafe- Polite Discussions About Scientific Mysticism and General Weirdness

a reply to: Peeple

I still wonder whether intuition and psychic are the same or no?

Im pretty smart. Pretty perceptive.

It could be said my subconscious is doing more mental math than most. When I read other languages I don't know.. there is still information there..

Maybe its syntax.. like beats or a flow.
German and English are similar.
My brain already kinda knows.

What I point to in my own life to separate intuition and psychic is that psychic has no prompt.
The intuition had german words to read.

I sometimes literally hear people talk, but its their thoughts. Would be a damn nightmare if it was more often, AND its thoughts addressed to me.. people thinking to say things to me.. otherwise i guess its not mine to hear?
Intention IS extradimentional entanglement?

I think that we are on the edge of figuring out too much haha. We as the humans, not we me and you or us on ats.. i mean humans know too much.. it only gets weirder from here.. That is reason enough to look forward just to see what happens.

There do seem to be rules.. like I said about my psychic. Thoughts addressed to me, can get to me, but everything else is i guess none of my business.

I sometimes think I exagerated everything and its all some mundane explanation.. and then I remember some of my experiences and its all too surreal.
I literally (love that you use that word correctly) hear people think. Its not often. Their volume matches to their urgency. Someone further away like a few rooms will sound like yelling.. its just weird, and I know I sound reverbsy, but ive proven it to myself and people in my local life. I said next time it happens i tell you exactly what you "said"
It was a word for word match.. so its not some subliminal impression. Its literal data sharing.

Who knows.
I can't control it.


"I literally mean the mind of things. "

^
I like that. A LOT.


I thought of an analogy.
Psychic is the german drums vibrating through the air making a drum vibrate.. if the other drum has a hand drumming it, it wont vibrate to the first one..

Like the muse album cover..



Tuning forks.

You can be receptive to the wrong influence.
You could pick up the greatest song never heard and bring it into existence by expressing what flows through you.

a reply to: Reverbs

I honestly don't know. To me understanding languages is because I had Latin at school. I'm entirely lost with Asian languages. I don't know if deduction isn't learned behaviour either, maybe you've just been smart & at good schools?
That's still not explaining the "adressed thoughts" thing...
But "intention creating entanglement" was nice. Maybe it's just that. If those quantum phenomenon are real there is probably one way or another we are experiencing them. Everything else would be weird.
Everything has a field. Even if it looks empty something is always there, we can only perceive 5% of what's going on, that's fundamentally changing how one approaches "stuff".

In supersymmetry the forces have an unification point. Energy, fields and so on are what keeps stuff connected. Consciousness is a field/energy. Ergo the basis for the fundamental interconnectedness of all things is consciousness, just what form of it is open for discussion.
Self aware, higher, lower, whatever that seems all wrong as words to use when talking about fundamentals.
What if quarks make the decision according to their environment if they want to spin up or down? Isn't that a sign of consciousness?

a reply to: Peeple

OMG I just had king prawns with spinach, garlic salt, pepper and olive oil with ciabatta and stracchino, I'm so full I think I'll explode, but oh gawd it was good. Plus port. Mhm...

Where are you guys?
I have decided I quit the job. It's too hard for me, I was thinking about it for days but today I was crying just because of the thought I have to go there, so I decided to end it.
I am so weak, the problem is money is no motivation for me and being confronted with the stupidity of so many people every day was just too much.
I'm not Reverbs, I am not strong enough to endure that kind of bs. Maybe I'll regret it when I get bored again.
So instead I'll refocus on the only thing that really matters: figuring this out. Woo I'm coming for you.
The plan sounds trivial, fasting, meditation and long walks in the park. Quantum physics on the side. And doing the best I can to stay positive.
I won't lie I'm a bit scared. But it happened to me for a reason I can't pretend I'm "normal". And I don't want to be and live normal.

And I wonder
there's a meaning to all of this
And you wonder
is there a meaning to all of this
and we ponder
the plus size made of things
And we forget
the wonders of all things
but there is an underlying truth
and we will see it
but there is an undeniable root
and we will get through this
and after all we will ponder, wonder and look
at all of this
we will be looking back and there will be meaning
sense and wonder don't you forget this
we will be one and wonder
at the end of this

Can you hear the music
there's a song playing
in the back of things
and we sing oh we will sing
loud and the strings will vibrate
to all of this
because in the end it's me and you and all of us
and in the end it's more than one of us
as one voice we'll sing
and we can't be ignored
as all we'll sing and the world
will vibrate to our chords

I love my guitar
and you and the
end of things
we will grow beyond - beneath
the source
oooh hear the source vibrate and join
the song that's been here
since the beginning of the world


first I hated her, now I kind of love her, it's noise but really good. Kicking butt...


It's kind of sad this feels my last party on earth and you guys are not around. If you think i was weir before buckle up because things will get super freaky from here on.
Everything beneath all of it is a wave. That's a profound change of perception of things. Suddenly it doesn't seem so weird people were thinking they can pass through walls, I'll report back if I manage to do that.
But oh this party ends, like all parties do. I just hope you come back

4 crying out loud!!! GAH!

As soon as your credit card is not in your possession you’re supposed to cancel it, right? So I did. 10 business days later, no replacement card... and sober over a week (grrrrrrrrrr... the part that really p1sses me off! lol). I got it back and went to my bank today. “Can you see if this card has been canceled?” Says I. “Hold on a second... yup, there is a ‘capture’ on the card,” came the reply.

A flash of my ID, a few keystrokes later, and my wayward card was deemed functional. A withdraw of cash from the ATM verified it worked!!

SMH. Wtf?!! When I say, “Cancel my card” I don’t mean “capture”!!

$400 dollars later, all bills are paid. And 2 hours early off work with beer in hand! AH!!

2 weeks of basic sobriety has all washing done of both dishes and clothes. A vacuum and mopping is in order. Garbage taken out. EQ mess cleaned up. And well rested.

Looks like Peeple is back too!

A couple weeks delay but let’s kick in this New Year!!!

a reply to: Peeple

As I've vomited forth so many times in the past; eye has a consciousness all of it's own a sphere in the brain... when in deep focus or samadhi of the eye? The other sense consciousness's "dim" and one is void... so then what is mind? Hmm is typically stated or the looooooong hum. Meaning the five faculties became awake from another sound breaking the portal or view of samadhi of the ear.

All that means is another sense was more active...

Fall down seven get up eight; front three three rear three three; are just two seats to say the same thing... why koans? Because of the old discriminatory practice that excluded women.

Women are typically the sangha or singers; knowing exactly what they want and or need to be fulfilled?(empty your cup) Not interested in either is my neither of either, male or female... as a meditation break or hermitage. To study one thing; elements and their impermanence. Of course; natural drives of energy still want to flow being life and yet not life at the same time.

So entanglement... here's another koan for such a contemplation; Why was Mara both the Buddhas mother and greatest foe?

Try to focus on sight and smell at the same time, all that takes is seeing and something of a strong smell, typically incense. Meaning smell will be in a sense... how literal and yet vague for the ignorant... ignore the good and bad that like it or do not as that is not the point samsara already being the embodiment of both extremes, no matter the name or form given.

Then try to add a third... as in full concentration very very difficult to do.

As for me? There is but one taste; pain and stress or knowing full well the four noble truths of suffering... and yet unburdened as an unladen swallow, ignorance keeps trying to place more where others have ran.

Think of an invisible conch and a visible conch when both sides a completely full, is the void inside or outside... this is why false speech is not good for either, as it builds nothing but another void and the dance goes on without even knowing the beat. Or simply avoidance... meaning go learn as that to a wise one knows still not an adult, or no home no home no home for those where ignorance still treads in greed hate and those delusional to the absolute of self and other.

Not knowing what a load stone or magnetite was? It was easy to load people up in that temple, to give the other a break... so hey going to the area where the second temple is?

Means only one void has been dug in such a world that still like to play the god and devil game then blame each other for their ignorance or not knowing then look for some mediator to settle such as that...

Children... at once the wisest and most innocent; until that third step they cannot avoid.

a reply to: BEBOG

Thank you for that post.

Although silence falls on deaf ears. I want and wish no harm for Peeps but those who are hell bent on it... what can one do?

I guess speak words and hope that the thread is picked up (?).

The world is better with both of you in it and sometimes your words scare me. Especially Peeps, at times because she follows through every now and then.

Anyway, probably don’t want it but Happy New Year!! LOL! (I know I make you laugh at times which is why you are here! I may have said some mean things last year and they may not have been off the mark, but your still here!

How long has your last relationship been??

Just saying, you get something out of hanging out with us back-of-the-class kids! And for what its worth, we love you too (even if some of us do not understand everything you are saying).

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

When so many roads have been paved to hell? Is it a wonder they never even built any cross roads...

That's why hells are like trying to become a lark and step through the moors or what was once just marry mud before it was murky waters... no frogs or fish left but still one hell of a thing to cross no need to worry about monkeys when those two rings keep them occupied with fruit.

Two rivers, both meet to form three poisons... and yet a cure all.

No monkey has ever pointed at the moon of a bare monkey and lived as anything other than a chimp, grasping at king Hanumans fruit once those two rings are depleted of fruit.

Then it is HA! on the new man when apes don't like yer kind around here... it's enough to make Rama snort himself awake awhile his consort sits satta on the last step; watching his dream awash at her feet.

Two divided from one is just an amoeba why it came to be called an atom? Too much chain for one reaction... know what a hydrogen bomb does? Create the red and yellow band sun on the delta wave length.

It has been agreed to both men and women meaning that debate is over for all that care? Size does matter.

The footstep of a single ant is easily covered by one single aunt. The leaf cutter knows the penchant for to pincers coming together to scare the entire mound back to sleep.

Of course as kamma goes? Reaping is always next to sowing. Ever since Egypt the ants have taken care of their dead; wafting a scent up to heaven meant go ahead carry live one after live one into the city of the dead just so that they can know how to truly live.

The funny thing about water? It is all in one huge entire mass and never separate... sure some smart ass wanted to call various forms of it "states just so they could feel, think or believe they were moving through it with any authority.

If to err is human then so is ignignokt.

Hoax Device is a strange thing to look up and such a thing is considered a terrorist act; my real question about such a thing for readers posters to consider is it only because such a thing breaks the hive or herd mentality? The closest thing I can think of is "sight gag" for example putting salt in the sugar dispenser... where others come over as a guest to visit; use coffee sugar etc. and yet they never bother to replace any of it leaving you with the expense and do not even say thank you just sit and waste your time... and out of politeness you're simply stuck in learning patience with the impolite.

So the hoaxed device in the above scenario; would be salt instead of the sugar... to put a strong bitterness into what they have always found sweet in more than one way.

Hence the old terminology there are no free rides...

Such a practice has a long tradition; started in the civil war era in the US to get those damned troops back on the road and out of the home.

Something that government legislation wanted or has re-enacted; some would think it as a spirit trap...

if one once was used as a valve out outlet to such energies... then that hungry ghost would drift there and try to enter it as if it were their own vessel.

This is where the peacock sutta is so very important... voiding the nose the tongue as two consciousness? Who could smell or taste poison... the knower and the known of the plot? Become immediately known; and of course the ignorant remain ignorant becoming cause for a doubt to linger. Keeping mystery always a float or afoot for learning and progression instead of regressing to the lowest common denominator as if one is a spirit house for all ner'dowells to live out their greeds, cravings and appetites refusing to literally move on.

An aeon to me is not a very long time, however that is based on my perception of it; a perception, is the awareness of all of those hive or herd of the same sort of mentality in desire or craving, moving on their own time and yet not when such a thing is shared... a school of synchronized swimming comes to mind whether bird or fish. Otherwise there is a dance and a list to go fetch.

The interesting thing is a witch calls their spirit animals and guides familiars, and warlocks call theirs fetches... as nature goes no slaves are best, after in one world seeing the body was my slave, then shadow of course was the next i accepted when offered another slave, then after that I chose light as my slave...

That means three dimensional what is left? All pervasive space and of course these damned-able siddhas that shape shift into solid forms... yet cannot retain the rupa kaya long enough to where all is as the other awakened to such a thing? Suffering without a single step.

Name is only a slave if one is familiar or is fetched when called to it... such a thing as that is what falls under command, ignoring that one ceases to be a slave.

Thus I have heard to me? Means there is too much English being fetched or recalled by a bunch of idiots that are familiar with form and when not in possession of such a thing want it even when they dont need it or have to have it.

Like hearing a coffee "friend" that is years and years away in contact by direct sight... and identified that self by direct knowing as a "mountain jew" yes indeed chewing on a mountain is good food.

So why did this person think themselves so big or far above me? Free ride. Last we were together... I took them to eat; mushrooms were on the sandwich well, their having vomited then left what? A place for mushrooms to grow. So hey I got a meal back in #ake form the next season.

His biggest excuse always was; he didnt like money to come between friends... oh well when being sponged off of or always paying one's own way? What kind of friend is that anyways... came to the same conclusion with one of my sisters; dump one burden after the other all on me... or at least they thought so.

Thinking it only is an apparent realm of existing like a huge weight of kamma not self; waiting to fall right back on their heads.

When head and heart are upside down; one is poison and the other free, when that reverses? Time is ticking before both become clear... the spooky action at a distance; beckons "let me make love to you" it was difficult enough ceasing all the hate that was never mine, why would I also want to see the same with that word called "love". Hate was given without me even asking... so why is love dished out any different? That's because both come at a price and that price is where immeasurable truly arises; in perfect balance.

The day the earth stood still, is when yin and yang cease to be in motion... if one has a yin for a yang it must have a yang for a yin thats why the Chinese despise the number four. What was already poetry in motion has to stop and sort itself due to greed, hate, ignorance and of course craving.

Hell of a recipe for disaster when thats what makes duality more than all for one and one for all when all can never leave all as a being in and of itself; unless freely given.

It may sound strange? But all exchange is equivalent equidistant or not... in such times as forcing one into a solid. Hence the earlier mention of jackasses trying to make water state itself as if it did not know itself as an all in all.

originally posted by: Peeple

Isn't there a saying something like you are what you focus on? There should be. Or your life is...?

You are what you eat, perhaps? Either way, I find life far too full of complexity and perplexity to be blanketed by a single phrase. Or perhaps I just haven't been focusing hard enough.

I, we, are many things to many people but I/we are seldom any of those things to ourselves. For me, being a Mum has been the most wonderful and fulfilling part of my journey so far, so much so that I am struggling hard to see what I might be when that is no longer my full-time vocation. To make things somewhat easier, in that respect, I have entered into the rather thankless period of every parents' existence - the teenage years. It's quite the slap in the face, in a good way, it's a beautiful thing to see the person you have nurtured confidently take flight, but the decline in the number of kisses and cuddles, the loss of knowing of that person inside and out, requires some mourning and really rather leaves you with little else but cooking and cleaning up after the surly, secretive, ungrateful, wee blighter.

I still have all the responsibilities, just not much of the fun comes my way these days. These last few years of parenting are still pretty crucial, it is not a time for me to be taking my eye off the ball while he is flapping his wings and testing his limits. There's still a job to be done facilitating and guiding that. I can't quite kick my heels yet, but I am aware that I am in a liminal space between motherhood and I imagine what would be the crone phase. For the time being what is important is fulfilling my commitment and providing a stable and secure home for my boy. There will be time enough later for growing old disgracefully in the meantime I am bound to my veneer of well managed domesticity.

Hah...I know a good phrase, less haste more speed...that sums it up for me. I can't necessarily find the freedom just yet to put into action some things but I can be laying the groundwork. And refining. You make a commitment and you follow through. With that alone comes growth and learning.

Anyway, for me, the "if it's important they'll ring back" is an effective filter. Last week, I had sixes one day and then it was all eights for the rest of the week, from which I took "new beginnings" and on making that decision, I was given synchroncities of that very phrase. Of course, much is confirmation bias. You raise your awareness, hear and see a multitude of words and phrases, it's just that one though that resounds with a *snap*. No matter, it offers me companionship and amuses me.

You're maybe right, perhaps there is an element of being what I focus on.

a reply to: KilgoreTrout

I never was and never will be a mother. That was the one most responsible decision I ever made. I watched my sister screwing up her kids, that was the last nail in that coffin.
I can't even have a serious relationship with an adult without feeling suffocated. Notice how TEOT and my internet-relationship kind of ended when we declared it?
I focus now entirely on energies and forces on my relationship with them. With as little resources as possible.
Feeding on sunshine and art. One with all-consciousness. In German "das All" is another word for universe. That's pretty, not? It means exactly what it does in English, so I focus my awareness by making it about everything. Because everything is no thing, just clumps of distribution on waves.
I kind of love that. One can probably psychologically guess why by reading the beginning of this post...
if you excuse me analysing me

But I love the thought there are "real" mother personalities out there, nurturing, protecting and all of that, that's beautiful and comforting even if I'm not part of it.

a reply to: Peeple

It doesn't come naturally, or at least it didn't for me. I found all the early stuff hard work. This tiny vulnerable person attached to me all the time was not what I thought it would be. Was much harder than I thought it would be. I thought I'd be a natural, I was far from it. I only really came into my own when he started talking and expressing himself as more than just an extension of me. That's when the really joy of the experience kicked in. I loved travelling with him and sharing experiences with him. Everything was fresh and bright and an adventure of exploration. Fun. You get attached to that and then you have to let it go without too many tantrums.

I don't think it is about "good" or "natural" on my part, it was about stepping up. Parenthood isn't just for christmas. I made a decision, took it seriously and met my responsibilities. And did it well - if I say so myself. The proof as it is being in the puddin'...and my puddin' is damn good!

Beyond parenthood I try as much as possible to be as much of a hermit as I can manage. I need to "mix" a little with work and a bit with family, and I have to eat, so I converse and interact, but only as needs be. I'm not good with people or managing relationships. I'm comfortable with frankness in people and few people are.

The picture I am currently working on (I set myself the task of filling an empty frame I have and producing something I want to hang on the wall), in contrast to what I said previously about new beginnings, is intended to represent the reality of there being no beginning and end just a continuously entangled thread-narrative. That's the idea anyway, I am attempting to be inspired by Celtic and Anglo-Saxon art. My previous painting involved a vesica piscis, this one I have incorporated a triquetra underlaying the Three Hares. My continuous thread or vine, not sure which yet, I am hoping will house lots of beasties but it is early days yet, so far I just have the hares a couple of fish.

But yes, I in turn value those that choose not to have children, I also value my ability to choose to have stuck to the one. It is all I could've managed successfully I think. As I said though, it is just part of my journey, a very shaping and defining one, but all the same, as uncertain as I am about what lays in store next, I look forward to the change and being able to take a few more riskier paths.

a reply to: Peeple

I might be strong but I do not work directly with the public haha. Im listening to classic rock and playing with fire and knives... being the boss also helps. Plus Im proud of the new hires. They get any breaks they want. I find freedom breeds stronger workers as long as you expect a lot and never settle for subpar performance. I find freedom at work is important for the longevity of life. And of course it means I do as I please as well.

I think I posted that it sounded like you needed to quit your job. Or maybe I wrote it and deleted it? I cannot remember. You have to do you. You are not a call girl. At least not that kind.

a reply to: KilgoreTrout

You can always be a remarkable unsuccessful science fiction writer, Kilgore.
I'd love to see the painting when it's done.
Life is all about phases. Adjustment and making the best out of the things one can't change. Melancholy can be beautiful too.
I have surprisingly little issues with getting older. I'm collecting experiences and scars and still feel like I'm growing into the person I'll be after death. That's the only thing that really matters, to keep on learning.
I think.
Who cares if the hair is turning grey-ish? I'm happy the stress of "who's the most sexually attractive slut in town" is over, I've always valued the mind more than beauty.
Now I don't have to play "the comtesse on vacation" I am.
Writing, music and painting are always rewarding even if nobody sees, or hears, or in any way acknowledges it.
What I am trying to say is, you'll be fine.

a reply to: Reverbs

I'm pretty sure you deleted that, would have been nice if you wouldn't have.
It was so annoying! People are so stupid and it felt like I was repeating the same sentence over and over... urgh.
Nobody else would hire me so now I'm facing the challenge of being self organising and not making the same mistakes I did last time.
I haven't quite figured out how to do that. So far it's been mostly watching Family Guy and American Dad. Also getting drunk and listening to music super loud. While funny, it's not very challenging or rewarding.
I have a plan. Worry not. I have a plan.
As if on clue the weather is getting better, it's a little bit warmer and less wet. That's cool, all great thinkers were taking long walks to think some more, that's part of the plan.
For diving deeper into quantum physics I'm lacking the maths, so instead I'll see what I can read and watch and listen to in theology and mysticism. All things in regards to life and the soul.
And I will work on my trust issues, not in terms of people, but the universe and the plan. I'm not normal, never was and never will be, there's a reason for that I'll just have to figure out what that could be.

Be warned in doing so I'll probably assume a few fancy and untrue things, maybe even dig out the old "alien" perspective. You can handle that, right? A little zombie alien prophet...

I notice I talk a lot about me lately, sorry it's part of the phase, it will pass.

The mail keeps "losing" my stuff!? Wtf? You have no idea how annoying that is. I know it's been sent but it never arrives. Aaaaaaarrrrgh
Sorry just a quick rant interlude. Because of current events. It's making me so angry!

originally posted by: Peeple
You can always be a remarkable unsuccessful science fiction writer, Kilgore.

I'm going to try pen and ink rather than paint this time. I had planned it to be needleworked, applique and embroidered but I felt that that could take for ever and I want to see the picture sooner than that. I get impatient for actually seeing the "vision" once I begin thinking about it. How about you, what are you working on, or working on working on? I only have a job because I have to, if I didn't need to work I would spend all my time just pissing around making #...hopefully get good at it, or something one day, but mainly just doing it because my hands want to be doing it.

I know I'll be fine, I bounce and I think you will be too. Wobbling from time to time is perfectly understandable given the circumstances.

The wrinkles, the slow descent south-wards I can't say I am loving but I do love my silver hair, I can't wait for it to take over completely. I tried bleaching it to help it along but that just turned me ginger.

Anyway, the reason I logged on, this will be a fleeting visit, is that I dreamt last night that I was telling someone about what you had said about Das All. That so seldom happens to me that a dream will directly refer to things that have occurred that day. Kind of funky I thought.

a reply to: Peeple

Challenging and rewarding.. maybe not but sounds like one of my nights after the challenging part. Im busy changing our vendors to get better prices.. making guides for everything.. of course the entire time im also cooking.. so today for instance felt amazing. Lot of work.. someone even called me "professional."

..until they see me outside of work ever.. haha.

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

Cards can be like keys, establish a routine... if you leave either of those here or there, then it is easy to lose track of them. Card when I go to my local outing place for food and bands, I always leave it with them as an open tab for me to pay before leaving then right back into the wallet it goes.

Current keys clipped on my belt loop, in the ignition or hooked by the door.

Get into a routine at your routine places... places i frequent once in awhile, card at the end of meal or when purchasing right back in the wallet with receipt(s) then deducted from the known amount. I used to use nothing but online but someone tried to hack and or steal my identity and it was a huge SHTF scenario... not long after a lot of woo started; like invasion of the body snatchers with me still in it; but whatever forces or energies trying to take it, control it, or possess it as their own.

I hunkered down on meditation realizing I went through bardos of becoming/death... everything became conscious like Zen hell every touch spoke every raindrop spoke all animals could be heard as to what they say, many scenarios of deaths and rebirths of people finding my corpse the state it would be in as if I was a captive emanation for all sorts of things from medical and scientific experimentation, to horror and snuff films, to military black ops experimentation etc.

This is when I chose to renounce the Sattva vows, as it seemed they would bury one of me and spiral out to see how long until I awoke or resurrected from the Bardo states of death/becoming. Existence is suffering became blatantly apparent as each one of those selves were and still are empathetically linked together. Like two blood cells separated will not have a synchronized heart beat put them closer and closer and then they synchronize and beat as one.

Seems at some point I entered the entire world system having been burnt stabbed killed raped and tortured over and over. And all past lives down to a single culture clinging to food(what the Vedas refer to as Brahman) and then conscious on a single shard of mineral where self and other were indistinguishable; making "who is dragging that corpse along?" as a koan something to slap someone as an instantaneous response, like power to a light bulb.

Then I walked to see the abbot... to ask two simple questions, instead; we sat through two entire world cycles of world extinction events 8 yugas... and into the third. Came back and continued practice; breaking the entire chain of the ego consciousness of causation. That does not mean there is not a constant ego mass that want, crave or desire what is seen as whatever illusion or delusion they see it as their own individual or unique reality.

Um pardon all of that as "time" is just as individual and unique as every component thing... earth not sentient but a huge transmitter in one link called; contact. Not having these links any longer... others with those links in the past present and future keep colliding. So learning experience all the way as knowledge is the blessing of life at the center for wisdom to grow and manifest as life and culture. The complaining about that wisdom, food for other realms and classes of beings.

So you asked when was my last relationship; and my apologies for not even seeing it; saying if time was synchronized, linear, relative and absolute(cause for immense suffering) then last one lasted close to four years; she broke three of our continue on together plans and was heading for what her parents wanted without informing me of what that was. Otherwise good person and easy to get along with... so hey grew apart as future dreams/plans were not coinciding; best to let go before both fall apart was the best; she was neglecting the college classes to further her degree field that would double her income, and was wanting to buy a house and parents thinking children... so um yet I wasn't the right one except to help her grow up some(she stopped lying to her parents) and well since those agreements for us together started breaking; I started looking toward to my dreams I never lost while together for when we separated.

With returning to the parents residence I bought an RV and started started renovating it and next thing I know family feud and a bunch of dumb # trying to tie me in the middle of it... planned to be here less than a year then on the road, corrupt state DMV issues that have been protested and handled for the greater good. So I have been willfully and decided to be chaste soon to be five years.... though as mentioned with time? Countless since being pulled and tugged etc etc bardo after bardo... issue with time? Once fully present and awake? No such thing as past or future just one single moment that extends infinitely.

Being infinitely in one place means all forces real and or imagined by all try to do whatever they can to force issues that have nothing to do with me; much like a singularity on the cosmos scale, that once went void or black hole in the first nirvana experience... now it is beings coming and going of various sorts planes and dimensions and just as many realities reasons and motives for such a thing, and yet simply one (attachment) the very thing that the path says get rid off; or else suffering will be the result.

Why in any world system, heavens or hells would anyone want to persist a perpetuation of ignorance knowing release is the real immanence... and goal of all Buddhists and well life as any existence that could be cause of suffering.

Nothing is to be learned, and once that is known all is AUM to the hearers... human lives are so short that the genetic code quickly deletes itself out and reverts back into animal and over and over again, each animal evolves and adapts to the highest point in genetic evolution and breaks away... so being jammed into one hole after another by all classes of beings... is what is really and truly immeasurable, of what could be rationally considered just one man; though I know past lives of "me" or more accurately this form.

Attached to a form? Someone places a name; that name is a link or boat all unto itself; no one else knowing that name or form? Clueless, and yet that person exists ignorantly or not in six realms of being.

Oh well, the more anyone knows? The less "I" care too.