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Soup. CRE2017.

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+6 more 
posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 07:46 AM


She poured an alka-seltzer pack in the glass of water and chugged it down. Grimacing from the disgusting taste, she knew she shouldn't have gone out with Michael and Uriel last night. It would have been wise to have stayed in and watched a movie with Raphael and Selaphiel. The pounding in her head was almost unbearable but at least it was Friday.

Looking down at the schedule on the clip board there was only one order left to fill.

"Great, I need an easy day" she said massaging her temples.

She walked over to a large wooden cabinet at the side of the room. Each shelf was lined with glass jars neatly labeled to identify its contents. Grabbing the usual ingredients and a random mixture of species characteristics, not really paying any particular attention to what they were. Usually this process was well thought out and the planning would set up the species for millions of years of success on their spiritual journey. But this time, with the wine still coursing through her veins, the alcohol helped her go against her better judgment.

So along with sugar, spice, and everything nice, jars like condescending a$$ hole, gambler's fallacy, and confirmation bias were placed in her basket.

In the center of the room a fire, The Eternal Light, burned bright just as it had forever. Atop sat an iron cauldron that would make the wickedest of witches jealous. Steam was slowly rolling out of the top. The temperature was right. The recipe lay torn and tattered on the table next to her. It hadn't been used in millennia. She knew the process and could do it in her sleep.

Bring water to boil
One cup love
One cup free-will
Half a cup curiosity
One tablespoon superstition
Light sprinkles of planned species characteristics

Let boil 15 minutes.
Add to can.

So she added the basics without even thinking and then reached for the randoms. In went healthy sprinkles of condescending A hole, tribalism, fear, and arrogance. Without even looking at the labels she dumped in some lies, hypocrisy, and greed. Luckily in her hungover stupor she had grabbed a few good ones. So in went a dash of loyalty, care, ambition, and empathy.

The steam started billowing out at a faster pace, turning from grey to blue to purple and red.

In went more sprinkles from the basket of jars. Ignorant, overcritical, jealousy, lazy and vengeance. She continued hypocritically mixing in intelligence, laughter, thoughtfulness, and forgiveness. The steam flashed and sparked as the colors wildly changed. The mixture bubble and popped. On last jar was left be added.

This one was labeled with a skull and cross bones. She noticed it just as she tipped it over above the cauldron. Her dull senses slowed her reaction time and before she could pull it away the top fell off and the entire contents fell into the pot. A loud boom echoed through the room and smoke filled the air.

Hacking and coughing she blindly made her way to the window fanning the smoke from in front of her face. She threw open the window and let the smoke roll out. She made her way back to the cauldron and peered in. The substance was still bubbling and popping but the color seemed to be right. She thought about starting over but really didn't feel like it.


She grabbed the ladle of life and filled up a can. She added a label to the can and dropped it down a chute to the shipping department. Destination: Virgo Cluster, Milky Way, Orion arm, Star 1576223A, Planet 3.

edit on 1-6-2017 by FauxMulder because: forgot to add "the end" but is it really the end? Maybe the beginning, I mean it is creation.

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 07:47 AM
a reply to: FauxMulder

This is where I wanted to see this go.

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 07:59 AM
a reply to: FauxMulder

Superb piece! The ultimate creation

I was smiling while I read it as my first idea was very similar. I passed on it luckily as it would never been even close to your perfection. Thank you!

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 08:02 AM
a reply to: FauxMulder

Hey FauxMulder!

Wow, that was pretty brilliant! Great imagination, definitely unique.

I'm a little lost for words, actually. I am so impressed.

(I'd say good luck in the contest, but you don't need it!!!)


posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 08:42 AM
Well done human

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 09:15 AM
a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

I always aim to please the Overloard. I really want to stay out of that dungeon

a reply to: szino9

Thank you

a reply to: jacygirl

Thank you Jacy! You always have the kindest words!

a reply to: In4ormant

011101000110100001100001011011100110101100100000011110010110111101110101..I mean...thank you...yes I'm a human not a robot
edit on 1-6-2017 by FauxMulder because: (no reason given)

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 10:42 AM
That was humorous, of course, drunkenness had to be a part of the creation process.

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 10:57 AM
a reply to: FauxMulder

Very original. Great work

Man, everyone is bringing it.

posted on Jun, 1 2017 @ 09:44 PM
a reply to: FauxMulder

Great story FM!

posted on Jun, 2 2017 @ 12:34 AM
Hahaha that was pretty great. Gonna have to star and flag this one.

posted on Jun, 2 2017 @ 05:32 PM
In a word, excellent. I'm still smiling.

Kind regards,


posted on Jun, 2 2017 @ 05:37 PM
a reply to: FauxMulder

Bravo ... seriously, bravo

posted on Jun, 6 2017 @ 11:39 AM
a reply to: UncleSoze
a reply to: bally001
a reply to: Wookiep
a reply to: JinMI
a reply to: knowledgehunter0986
a reply to: InTheLight

Thank you all very much!

posted on Jun, 6 2017 @ 11:50 AM
Great original work! Well done!

Erm... I can't help but notice it says
'A Quick Meal...' on the top right of the label.

Stand by for an approaching ship- spoon shaped!

posted on Jun, 6 2017 @ 01:46 PM
Yeah, Faux, that was pretty bloomin' awesome. Well done, man!

posted on Jun, 6 2017 @ 08:45 PM
We are soup.

posted on Jun, 28 2017 @ 06:55 PM
a reply to: FauxMulder
I could definitely relate to her cooking skills, or lack thereof.

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