It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Are you a loner ?

page: 2
28
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join
share:

posted on May, 14 2017 @ 12:44 AM
link   

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: Astyanax

Exactly right. It takes an extreme feat of selfishness to not connect with someone nowadays.


Ha, have you been outside? Me thinks not. One hour at a bar and you listen to peoples stories and I am GLAD I don't have but a sliver of people I call friends. Most of you are outright insane.

Peace.




posted on May, 14 2017 @ 12:47 AM
link   

originally posted by: ConscienceZombie
If having a wife and family makes you a loner. The hell does that make me.

Super alone...

Aloner.....

Alonega....

Could do mega alone but that would just be stupid.





posted on May, 14 2017 @ 12:47 AM
link   

originally posted by: SR1TX

originally posted by: LesMisanthrope
a reply to: Astyanax

Exactly right. It takes an extreme feat of selfishness to not connect with someone nowadays.


Ha, have you been outside? Me thinks not. One hour at a bar and you listen to peoples stories and I am GLAD I don't have but a sliver of people I call friends. Most of you are outright insane.

Peace.


You thinks wrong, and I wager that is part of the problem.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 01:01 AM
link   

originally posted by: Astyanax
Yea! A feel-good thread for social outcasts!

Real loners don't have wives and children. Some of you ought to consider the possibility that people just don't like you -- and ask yourselves why.

Do you really think a bunch of introverts of various degrees give so much as a single piece of flying feces what a social butterfly dingleberry thinks of them? Hint: No.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 02:17 AM
link   
a reply to: Nyiah

These people are not introverts. It was not they who made the decision to isolate themselves. Others walked away from them, not they away from others.

Unpalatable fact, but true on the face of the evidence presented. I am not referring to the OP but to some of those who replied.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 04:22 AM
link   
a reply to: galaga

I'm a hermit. My ex has started joining BIKER dating groups. Feels like death inside.

and so I will remain a hermit. can't remember the last time I woke up sober. Hoping I just don't wake up one day.

pathetic I know... but it's one thing to be a loner, it's another to be alone...



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 04:50 AM
link   
Yeah, real down to earth friends are hard to come by aye.

Guess it's personal. I trust few people especially the over friendly ones.

Doesn't mean I haven't many friends. Just those I can have a laugh with and trust.

kind regards,

bally



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 05:14 AM
link   
a reply to: galaga

As long as you are happy with your life it's all good.I myself don't have many friends either but i don't mind-its not easy to find people one can really connect with and be comfy with.I'm actually a quite extroverted person but i choose to not socialise very much.I find it very easy to talk to people,even strangers but i don't Like to socialize unless i have no choice.I have 3 good friends but we don't see each other often,one lives in another province.But we keep in touch and occasionally get together.I'm very happy by myself,making art and cooking and spending time with my kids.Whatever works for you and makes you happy but one does not need a bunch of friends ,imo,even one good friend is enough.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 05:43 AM
link   
The more people you let into your life the more drama you have. I'm a very outgoing bubbly person, love people, was a dj for a while but I've learnt my lesson and won't let people into my close circle of 5 anymore without references

Whenever I've had arguments its usually been due to other people and their drama making it yours. Another problem with people is that if your'e a nice kind person, they see it as a weakness and will try and use you for whatever they can. With some, once you start down the road of "helping" they won't ever let you stop and if you do, you suddenly become the devil incarnate and everything is your fault! Well that's been mainly my experience. The more people you are around you also find yourself becoming different people yourself depending on who you're with. How many of us have different faces for work, home, out at a club, for the kids etc? I lost track of who I was at one point and realised I had to seriously be me or at least try

Depends on who you are I suppose. If you like loads of drama, multitudes of opinions, tons of arguments and utter chaos when organising a wedding or party lol then fine. I like things simple



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 07:36 AM
link   





*̶P̶o̶P̶s̶*̶


When flowing doesn't want following;
The shadow still grows.
When there is no rest even for the wicked,
the shadow embraces in darkness;
What those in light refuse to shine.

When there are more unseen hands;
grasping and clawing,
Than those seen, yet refuse to reach...
Except at only selfishness?
Whom else is one left to accept?

Torn in two instead of torn apart,
What the red pinkie thread swears,
The other knows.

Humanities spirit torn asunder;
Of concepts & dreams,
Are those always alone,
On loan is who they are.

Ignorance stays apart;
While cunning plays a part,
When truth is a burden?
& entire worlds just fiction;
A fair weather balloon,
repeats up top...







posted on May, 14 2017 @ 09:26 AM
link   
I have had some brilliant, close friendships. But, I seem to lose them along the way, mainly through my own apathy and disinterest. Work colleagues are just for work.

My family is key. Wife, kids and my siblings and their offspring.

I do not think few friends is a failure, or a worry. It's just the way it is.

As a gauge. What would you attendance be at you funeral? Mine would be modest, but the people there would be the ones who count in the end.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 10:12 AM
link   
I wasn't always a loner, but when I am, I enjoy it.

Currently I'm like the OP. I have great social skills, I'm good with people, and I deal with people on a daily basis. But, for some reason I've tended to rather be alone right now. I think it's because I've taken time to try and re-structure my life and make big changes, and I feel that adding more people into my life right now will just derail my progress.

I like to pick and choose the people I hang around because I have a busy life, and I can't afford to let others drag me down.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 11:49 AM
link   
They say "Your vibe attracts your tribe. " Suppose my vibe doesn't jive with most. It used to bother me and I would try to fit myself into one box or another. Never worked out. Always seemed to be too much of something or not enough of another. Never confuse being a loner with being lonely. I prefer to choose my social interaction carefully.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 11:57 AM
link   
a reply to: galaga

You aren't a loner... you just prefer some time alone to cope and heal I'd say. It seems that as time goes on you enjoy it more and more as you age, but you still have companions in life. I would not advise pushing people away in the future if you enjoy the feeling of solitude... maybe try float therapy to feed the self center?

I talk to people when I am out and about as I work a normal job and all, but I don't have much of any social contact outside of work hours. I have a very small amount of family members that I check up on occasion, and that about wraps up my social scene. This site will be about the only place I talk. I have a cell phone, but it's just because pay phones don't exist much anymore. I enjoy watching the world around me, but my brain does not mesh with it well.

I checked out the dating website for loners, but I was the only one there...



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 12:53 PM
link   

originally posted by: Astyanax
a reply to: Nyiah

These people are not introverts. It was not they who made the decision to isolate themselves. Others walked away from them, not they away from others.

Unpalatable fact, but true on the face of the evidence presented. I am not referring to the OP but to some of those who replied.

For the most part, yes they are. If you consider the overall personality description of Introvert to be a tree, and the branches to be various incarnation of Introversion branching off the Introvert main trunk, then Loner is but a branch on that tree.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 01:18 PM
link   

originally posted by: ttobban
a reply to: galaga

You aren't a loner... you just prefer some time alone to cope and heal I'd say. It seems that as time goes on you enjoy it more and more as you age, but you still have companions in life. I would not advise pushing people away in the future if you enjoy the feeling of solitude... maybe try float therapy to feed the self center?

I talk to people when I am out and about as I work a normal job and all, but I don't have much of any social contact outside of work hours. I have a very small amount of family members that I check up on occasion, and that about wraps up my social scene. This site will be about the only place I talk. I have a cell phone, but it's just because pay phones don't exist much anymore. I enjoy watching the world around me, but my brain does not mesh with it well.

I checked out the dating website for loners, but I was the only one there...


Exactly. I was in the medical field my entire career. I dealt with people one on one. Recently, I ran my own convenience store. I met people every day. Complete strangers. I did fine. I liked them. They liked me. My regulars would come by just to chat.


Outside of my store. I never had any contact with them what so ever. And I liked it that way.

About the "healing" part.

Nope. No need to heal. Like I said, I did hang out with my co workers for a while. What I should have said, I kinda drifted away from them. Like, I just didn't like hanging out with people period.

Also this.

My wife is 18 years younger than me. She feels like her generation is complete crap.

She has one girlfriend and she's sick of her crap too.




edit on 14-5-2017 by galaga because: (no reason given)

edit on 14-5-2017 by galaga because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 01:35 PM
link   
a reply to: galaga

For the first 24 years I was very much a loner. The only people I talked were in their 40s-60s. It wasn't till I started college that it began to go away. I think it was that my peers were just starting to form their own opinions and began think critically (which was shortly thereafter taken back from most of them) that they became as interesting or more than the interest in learning history from firsthand accounts by talking with the Greatest Generation. By the end of college I was married and expecting my first child.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 01:47 PM
link   
a reply to: galaga

Sure, those are all common traits of the introvert. But introvert and loner are 2 different forms of behavior. A loner does not share a dwelling with anybody. Introverts can find short term peace within isolation, but after a few days the isolation becomes too much.

As for me, I came up a lot by my own thoughts as the setting was a bit communal I'd say. I practiced social skills like all kids do, but I went through the technology shift as a kid... where we were all introduced to synthetic emotion. I had a tough time transitioning, because it did not make sense to connect to synthetic emotion when the primary drive of human emotion is not so well focused on. I prefer the crawl before walking methods of learning. Well, I became a loner when I should have been learning social skills... social skills are a learned behavior for sure.

It doesn't bother me or most all loners that we are subjected to scrutiny... if we did, we'd likely not be loners to begin with. But, loners don't have the same result in conversing with others that are socially trained. In a lot of situations loners find themselves in, social attachments are awkward and it creates a resonance that both repels a socially trained person and feeds the isolation feeling of the loner. I can personally spend 3 months and longer in complete isolation and not offer much of a care that I did not have any human connection.

I'd indicate that you are an introvert. For introverts, I advise a stronger emphasis on meditation and or float therapy. Introverts need mental vacations frequently to find focus, but the attachment to even one or a few people is a large spiritual connection that feeds the spirit. After a week of isolation, and an introvert is ready to get back into the social pool. I just hope you can find a middle ground and not push people away because of the introverted aspects of your personality. Regret is a common affect of pushing introverted aspects into the realms of being a loner.

Loners are typically in survival mode and just can't find their way as part of a pack as a way of life... sometimes chosen, sometimes not. If one can mingle back and forth through social packs, it opens up channels of human compassion that becomes like a need for food.



posted on May, 14 2017 @ 07:17 PM
link   



posted on May, 15 2017 @ 01:57 AM
link   
a reply to: galaga


I had to stop hanging out with my friends because the wife always thought I was banging chicks when I really wasn't.


They always say that; I was portrayed as the one who was leading my friend astray, as far as his spouse was concerned.

The fact is that some women have a problem with their husband/boyfriend having a best friend.

It means there's someone else in his life who is important to him, and they don't like the competition.




top topics



 
28
<< 1    3 >>

log in

join