Marrying a Catholic

Hey ATS,

So I,a Non Catholic and my Novia, a devout Catholic are getting married sometime this year.

However, I wasnt aware of the whole Catholic marriage process. The last little while she's been telling me I should be baptized (I'm already a baptized Christian), need to be confirmed, and we have to take some marriage course..

...all BS imo...

Anyways, I was googling all this stuff and it all became really confusing as I found different info on different pages.

I was wondering if there are any Catholics here who can give me the run down on the whole procedure and requirements of a Non Catholic marrying a Catholic..

Thanks in advance.

You don't need to be confirmed.

They would like you baptized in some Christian faith.

The pre-marriage counseling is called Pre-Cana. It's actually pretty good for any couple. They typically look at your values and goals (do you want kids, do you save money or spend money, what are your career aspirations, who does the laundry, etc)

I married a Unitarian the first time around. Didn't end well.

a reply to: Tucket

I know that the Catholic religion is very different than regular Christians. One of my friends who married a Catholic was concerned by their use of idolatry when it came to the virgin Mary. He wouldn't do some of the things like pray in front of a statue of Mary which made him uncomfortable with the Catholic ceremony.

I married a Catholic. I've never been baptized, anywhere. We did do the pre-marriage classes, but that was a requirement for being married in the church, whether both are Catholic or not.

Coming up on 29 years, so I guess you could say it's worked out.

a reply to: Tucket

I was raised Catholic. Im far from it now but from my experience is that most Catholics marry other Catholics. I'm sure it really depends on her family and how Catholic they are.

Some families are really, really Catholic, and do everything to the T.
Some are laid back and just go to church on Easter and Christmas to remain a part of community and don't really mind their daughter or son marrying a person of a different religion.

If they are requiring you to get baptized it sounds like they are serious Catholics.

Have you talked to her about it? Sounds like she could just be doing it to make her parents happy.

a reply to: Tucket

You do not have to actually convert and become a Catholic yourself, but if your future wife wants the marriage to be recognized as an official marriage by the Catholic church then you do need the permission of your local bishop. This is called a 'mixed marriage' because while you are Christian, you aren't Catholic. It will also have to take place in a church, or you will again need permission to do it elsewhere, but the church itself is preferred. As cosmania and yeahright wrote, there will also be some pre-marriage counseling. The reason for this is that marriage isn't simply some kind of social contract in this case, but is actually one of the sacraments and they want you to understand and be prepared to live your lives together in this sacred bond.

a reply to: Tucket

I was wondering if there are any Catholics here who can give me the run down on the whole procedure and requirements of a Non Catholic marrying a Catholic..

Yah, don't.

You can thank me later.

a reply to: Tucket

I almost married a catholic woman. We were together for four years before she realised she couldn't make me believe in catholisim. If you are not willing to submit to all of her superstitions, she may decide later on that you are no longer suitable. Maybe even after you have had kids, as she had done to her ex-husband who switched over to mormonism. She is currently using her religious beliefs to keep her children from seeing their father, all in accord with the local judges apparently.

Best to just find a good atheist girl. They are very reasonable.

My brother-in-law, an ex-mormon, and his wife, raised catholic, got married last year. Her parents insisted on a traditional latino-catholic wedding. Dear lord that was a long service.

a reply to: Slanter

We had the traditional Irish Catholic wedding with full mass. Yeah it was long. But I felt like I got my money's worth out of that rented tux.

The reception was a blast. Those Irish Catholics definitely know how to party.

a reply to: Tucket

I married a Catholic. I converted to be able to participate in the various celebrations in my children's lives. My understanding is that if you are not baptized, the marriage will not be recognized by the church. As someone else pointed out the pre-marriage class thing is pretty good and would be helpful to any marriage. It covers a lot of stuff that a lot of people don't discuss prior to marriage.

I married two Catholics, although not at the same time.

The first marriage was in the church, the second was not, so it is not recognized by the church. I no longer recognize it either.

I didn't have to convert, but we were required to take a marriage class before the wedding.

Well, I married a Catholic. In a Catholic Church. I am an Anglican. No problems.

If you getting it stuffed down your throat, then have a word with the priest.

a reply to: fritzM

I'm not baptized and our marriage is recognized. The only single thing I was required to agree to specifically was to raise the kids Catholic. I agreed to not do anything to prevent it, but if someone was looking to me to ensure it, that was probably a mistake.

The Monsignor had no problem with that. He was a great guy (rest his soul), and we had many fine conversations.

I married a Pope Scout.. err I mean Catholic!


I was baptized Methodist, but never really went to church; read: No confirmation(mainly a Catholic thing) Definitely a requirement is baptism in an legitimate church that accepts the divinity of Christ.

We did a half day seminar/workshop on Marriage which was just outlining what a Catholic needs to be free to do, a promise to not stop the Catholic spouse from practicing their beliefs.

Aside from the class and the exceedingly long Mass during the wedding, Ive never had any "run-ins" with the Catholic church

I talked her out of believing the Pope is infallible, and to question the worship of saints but we are still married 13 years later.

originally posted by: yeahright
a reply to: Slanter

We had the traditional Irish Catholic wedding with full mass. Yeah it was long. But I felt like I got my money's worth out of that rented tux.

The reception was a blast. Those Irish Catholics definitely know how to party.

Thats funny, the long mass was good considering we got our money's worth out of the rented suits!

I married into a Lithuanian Catholic family...they also know how to party! LOL

originally posted by: Woodcarver
a reply to: Tucket

I almost married a catholic woman. We were together for four years before she realised she couldn't make me believe in catholisim. If you are not willing to submit to all of her superstitions, she may decide later on that you are no longer suitable. Maybe even after you have had kids, as she had done to her ex-husband who switched over to mormonism. She is currently using her religious beliefs to keep her children from seeing their father, all in accord with the local judges apparently.

Best to just find a good atheist girl. They are very reasonable.

Well, I dont mind her devotion to god as Im spiritual myself. I just dont identify with the ritualistic stuff that goes on in the Catholic Church.

originally posted by: fritzM
a reply to: Tucket

I married a Catholic. I converted to be able to participate in the various celebrations in my children's lives. My understanding is that if you are not baptized, the marriage will not be recognized by the church. As someone else pointed out the pre-marriage class thing is pretty good and would be helpful to any marriage. It covers a lot of stuff that a lot of people don't discuss prior to marriage.

Does that mean you got "confirmed?" What is that process like?

a reply to: Butterfinger

I am just saying to anyone reading - next time you're invited to a wedding and it's going to be a full mass Catholic one with family ties to some European ancestry, just go. Lithuanian, Irish, Italian, Polish, doesn't matter. You'll eat well, you'll have access to more than you need to drink, and you'll make friends. Maybe have a fistfight opportunity too, but only with your consent.

If it's at a hotel, book a room there. Thank me later.

a reply to: yeahright

My first mother-in-law was Lithuanian Catholic.
Even their wakes rock.