Bi-Polar Wedding

gonna keep it short

first, you cant help who you fall in love with....

no doubt it could be a rough go if she is with him long term. millions of people live with bi polar and lead productive lives....keep that in mind to

tell the dude to go get some #in latuda......ive had amazing results with it...

good luck man

are you paying for the wedding? i read the op a bit ago but dont remember...

if so and you feel strongly against the wedding for whatever reason just dont pay for it....sucks in all kinds of ways but you dont have to.....she will probably be pissed at you but thats the breaks.

of course nothing to stop them from going to the courthouse but at least you can no you didnt pay for something you did not approve of

a reply to: Realtruth

All true, but the OP said he can't even hold onto a construction job.

So I asked the question.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Realtruth

All true, but the OP said he can't even hold onto a construction job.

So I asked the question.

thats not what he said. he said he can not hold a job in construction.
does not mean he can not hold a job in something else.

a lot of people cant hold a job in a trade like that...

cant hold a job in construction and
cant even hold a job in construction mean different things

a reply to: TinySickTears

Christ.

I'm not getting into a ####ing pissing contest over this.

Is the future husband able to support his future wife?

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: TinySickTears

Christ.

I'm not getting into a ####ing pissing contest over this.

Is the future husband able to support his future wife?

then dont....didnt ask you to
just pointing out they mean different things....

youre not gonna want to get into this pissing contest either so lets just get that out of the way....also this is not directed at just you..

why does he have to support his wife? are we living in 1955?

maybe they should support each other......you know 2017 and all


i love how one of the first things that pops into peoples heads when talking about marriage is can the man support the woman?

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Realtruth

All true, but the OP said he can't even hold onto a construction job.

So I asked the question.

Yea then it might be an issue.

Looks like the young man has some work to do. Hopefully he'll get the proper treatment, because they do not have an easy road ahead of them. Bi-polar is treatable, but it may take a long while before they can dial in a reasonable treatment program.

originally posted by: CulturalResilience
a reply to: schuyler

What you say may well be right, but I get the impression that the OP would not view your suggested solution as viable one at this moment.

From what I can tell he took what I said just fine, so you might want to let him be the judge of that. I think he knows what he's in for. It's his step-daughter, too, and like it or not, blood is thicker than water. When the phone calls come in three times a day with yet another dramatic issue it's going to put strain on OP's own marriage, and if grand kids get into the picture, and ultimately need to be supported when Mr Crazy self-destructs, that blissful retirement will turn into a nightmare. Step-daughter is old enough to do what she wants no matter what anyone says, but perhaps some expectations need to be set RIGHT NOW on just what "supporting her" in the future means. That conversation needs to happen with daughter, but also independently with daughter's Mom. If OP didn't want these issues discussed, he would not have posted here. To just say, "Gee, I'm sorry" or other co-dependent platitudes does not seem to me to be useful advice. OP can take it or leave it, of course. None of us can fix the issue, but hopefully he can gain some insight based on what we say.

a reply to: Realtruth

I hope anyone with these issues gets treatment.

That being said, when I had major surgery done on my left leg, I didn't plan a ski trip that week.

originally posted by: blueyedevilwoman
a reply to: IAMTAT

Again...this episode is happening 10 days before the wedding...and we had no idea things were like this with him...and that he could be set off on a frenzy to this magnitude...at any time...for no apparent reason.

Is he a water sign?
Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces.

I'm curious about your asking this...

I'm bipolar and a Pisces although I don't put a whole lot of stock into the Zodiacs and what not, I still love learning about such things.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: Realtruth

I hope anyone with these issues gets treatment.

That being said, when I had major surgery done on my left leg, I didn't plan a ski trip that week.

Agreed, it appears the pressure of marriage, and the responsibility that comes with it, may have help triggered the episode, so it might be a wise idea to put it on hold.

If you love someone and intend to spend the rest of your life with them, what is another year or two.

originally posted by: TinySickTears

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: TinySickTears

Christ.

I'm not getting into a ####ing pissing contest over this.

Is the future husband able to support his future wife?

why does he have to support his wife? are we living in 1955? maybe they should support each other......you know 2017 and all. i love how one of the first things that pops into peoples heads when talking about marriage is can the man support the woman?

The question is first, can he support himself? It doesn't sound like he's very stable or have any kind of education that would allow him to hold down a good job. And he's unstable. Frankly, I don't think "supporting each other" is in the cards. It sounds like a fantasy n a romance novel. So what happens when they have four kids in rapid succession? I think the woman in this case must very much think 2017 modern because SHE will likely be the one supporting everyone. My guess is this guy as a 'stay at home Dad' would be a disaster. He couldn't take the pressure. And OP needs to answer this, too, because if she cannot support herself and her kids, the next step is to run home to Mommy and guess what? OP gets to be on the hook for everyone. Best advice to this woman is to stay on birth control so she can bail if she has to. Otherwise this is a twenty-five year train wreck in the making.

family friend who was bi polar , took lithium
seemed normal enough
generous loving kind
25 plus years living fine after being diagnosed

one day she threw herself off a cliff
thought she was the devil
no warning in her behaviour
convinced her shrink she was fine
convinced her kids she was fine
kept up the act

her death devastated her family and those around her
more so because no one knew how disturbed she really was
she hid the extent of her illness

my advice is be prepared for misery
be prepared for the worst
make sure your step daughter knows
if she is to marry him
to prepare herself emotionally for the worst

mental illness is stigmatised
people don't talk about it
and people end up hurt or dead

you need talk about this a lot in the open with her and him
make sure he doesn't feel the need to cover up the extent of his illness
to her you and the rest of the family

I know many don't but I have to make this point
never make fun of the mentally ill
even in the slightest
you can do such much harm

a reply to: TinySickTears

Uh, did you miss that she's a waitress and he lives with his parents? Some major flaws you missed out on. These young people are in no way ready for marriage. How it got this far in one year is truly a tragedy-the stepdaughter refuses to accept the reality and the las minute cancellation of a huge wedding.

a reply to: FissionSurplus

Good god...

Them are some pretty extreme generalizations. Being bipolar is soo different for everyone. Some folks may only ever exhibit it maybe a few times their entire life. Some folks are on the other end of the spectrum.
I know you said something about having some background in mental health, but it's clear that it wasnt in this field at all.

Psychology is one of the best things for a person with bipolar tendancies to research, as well as for folks close to the individuals.

I'm sorry, maybe it's just that I carry it with me as well, but you come off as extremely crass and jaded. It sounds like you're more angry with your own lifes choices, rather than someone who understands bipolar subjects.

originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: TinySickTears

Uh, did you miss that she's a waitress and he lives with his parents? Some major flaws you missed out on. These young people are in no way ready for marriage. How it got this far in one year is truly a tragedy-the stepdaughter refuses to accept the reality and the las minute cancellation of a huge wedding.

didnt miss that either/

not saying they are ready for marriage but a pair of 20 year olds still figuring # out is not out of the norm. not all 20 somethings have their long term career paths set yet.
also, what is wrong with being a waitress? you saying you cant earn a living waiting tables?

schuyler, i dont disagree personally with anything you said.
just trying to make the point that it is not by default up to the man to support the family anymore.

also pointing out that a pair of 20 year olds that re still figuring it out does not automatically spell doom.

though i do agree with schuyler.....its probably doom

Bi-polar episodes are triggered in some people. They can be controlled somewhat by diet, just trying to figure what is setting the episodes off is not easy. It has to do with the fight and flight system in people I think. Medicines try to correct that, but if the person consumes too much of the trigger, the medicines do not work well. Just like any disease, there are triggers in diet. Too much folate in the diet can make someone crabby, those dark green leafy veggies are not good for some people. The thing is that sometimes a person can be deficient in certain nutrients because of metabolic issues of absorption, then when they get one to uptake, it causes wrong chemistry to occur. This could be related to issues in the P450 enzymes too. Maybe they are eating foods at his parents that he is intolerant to.

I spent a lot of time studying bi-polar, my ex is bipolar and I have a daughter that has to deal with her episodes. She is either too nice or too ugly. It is hard, because people do not want to change their diet to make it so they are balanced. The guy should be somewhere in between those too points. Do they live in an area where there would be pesticides sprayed upwind from them? Or where a lot of roundup is being used?

Do his episodes happen when there are trees being sprayed next door? Another one that can cause that is if he uses triclosan. They cause problems and elevate acetylcholine levels and can mess up a balance in the brain.

a reply to: Realtruth

Thank you.
I'm told he rarely drinks...and hasn't touch weed in 6 months.
I'll check out these books.

originally posted by: essentialtremors

originally posted by: blueyedevilwoman
a reply to: IAMTAT

Again...this episode is happening 10 days before the wedding...and we had no idea things were like this with him...and that he could be set off on a frenzy to this magnitude...at any time...for no apparent reason.

Is he a water sign?
Cancer, Scorpio, or Pisces.

I'm curious about your asking this...

I'm bipolar and a Pisces although I don't put a whole lot of stock into the Zodiacs and what not, I still love learning about such things.

I suspect the trippin potential groom is a water sign.
If so, he could be getting caught up with moons current energy. He could be another group and still have astrolgical/ moon sensitivity via heavily water influenced chart.

Water signs are sensitive to the moon and prone to lunacy.

By lunacy I mean the original definition by a real doctor. Not the slang version.

Sensitivity to the moon.

The moon is full in Scorpio now I believe.
That is a very powerful emotional position.

Luna-cy

Best $25 you can spend is on a birth chart, if you are intersested in astrology. Nobody knows you, like you do.

I know "bipolar" people that watch and plan for potentially good and bad days for the whole year with a simple almanac.
They start by using a almanac to note days on a astrological calendar. After 60 days or so a pattern emerges.

Pisces have it the hardest.

If you notice, you are the only water sign without a shell. Generally sensitive, in more ways than one. The details are always found thru a birth chart.

originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: TinySickTears

Uh, did you miss that she's a waitress and he lives with his parents?

... in their guest house.

Just sayin'

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: IAMTAT

How is he going to support your daughter?

Long term, I don't know.
I'm pretty sure they'll continue to live with his parents and save. His parents have a large estate and are financially well off.