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All I Wanted Was A Clock

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posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:01 PM
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I need a clock so I popped into (online) Amazon with the intention of buying one. Simple enough, I thought.

And so it would have been except I didn't want one that disturbed me with its incessant ticking, I've already got two of those.

So I did a search for a 'quiet clock' only to get the response:

'Excluding adult items' and an option for Amazon to 'show all results' instead of the just the quiet clocks that I wanted.

Now I could, I suppose, ask to see all the results but I don't want my browsing history to start including mucky items. I'm still traumatised from where the page jumped when I selected ear candles and ended up on a page featuring a sex toy.

It's true. I used to get not so discreet little messages asking me if I wanted to see my full browsing history. You know, nudge nudge, including the shameful secret stuff.

So, can someone perhaps help me out? I'm not suggesting anyone should compromise their good standing at Amazon (or anywhere else) but, if you know already, I'd be grateful to know why quiet clocks are x-rated.
edit on 26-4-2017 by berenike because: one word change




posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:07 PM
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I searched Amazon for "quiet clock" and all I see are...

Quiet clocks.

Try clearing your browser history and try it again.

And take it easy on the porn.




posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:13 PM
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a reply to: berenike

Don't feel too bad.

I was looking for a chest of drawers for my son while I had some down time at work.

Yeah ... for some reason I got a page that included the false boobs a cross-dresser would use ... while I was at work.
In the building the company CEO would frequently walk past our corral in ...



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:15 PM
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originally posted by: NthOther
I searched Amazon for "quiet clock" and all I see are...

Quiet clocks.

Try clearing your browser history and try it again.

And take it easy on the porn.



LM...u know the rest.

Clear ur history and search.

I just wonder how CLO cks And porn are ......never mind the lightbulb just came on.



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:27 PM
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I'd bet even money that in your initial search for "quiet clocks" you forgot the "L" in "clocks"...



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:28 PM
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a reply to: berenike

Amazon has sex toys?



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:30 PM
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a reply to: SBMcG

No. I got a page full of clocks - quiet ones



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:30 PM
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BTW...the WORST is Wayfair.
Look at one stupid wine rack and you're inundated with furniture suggestions everywhere.



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:50 PM
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a reply to: berenike

The dark forces of the internet have compiled enough of an image of your searches (if not deep desires) to know what you want more than you know yourself. Surrender. Do what they suggest, pick the best clock that fits your passions even if it would make your mother cringe such that you must hide it when she visits.



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 04:53 PM
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a reply to: berenike




So I did a search for a 'quiet clock' only to get the response: 

'Excluding adult items


This absolutely slayed my ass right here😂😂😂😂😝😝



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 05:03 PM
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a reply to: berenike

when i Google "Silent Clock" and hit "Shopping" i get a ton of stuff pop up that seems to fit my search query.

Here, took it from the top of my Google Search:

decomates silent clock:

www.amazon.com... 22017154&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=b&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028621&hvtargid=kwd-64416744179&ref=pd_sl_29fnomjy6m_b
edit on 4/26/2017 by bigfatfurrytexan because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 05:22 PM
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I've chosen a smart, black little number that lights up in the dark and only requires one AA battery.

And, yes, that is a description of the soon-to-be-mine quiet clock. Free standing and practically guaranteed to not give little old ladies the heebie-jeebies.

I just need to bump up my order enough to qualify for free p&p. Shall I get extra halva? I wonder.

My browsing history could hardly be more chaste - unless me buying a new bed last month sent their little cookies' imaginations into rampant overdrive.



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 05:51 PM
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a reply to: NthOther

You forgot to say, "And on your browser, turn off your clock blocker..."

(tee-hee....)




posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 08:20 PM
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a reply to: berenike

Set browser to restricted or moderate.. like for your kids. .adult results will disappear from searches.. .and clear out old browser history 1st!



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 08:49 PM
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originally posted by: berenike
I've chosen a smart, black little number that lights up in the dark and only requires one AA battery.

And, yes, that is a description of the soon-to-be-mine quiet clock. Free standing and practically guaranteed to not give little old ladies the heebie-jeebies.


Read those lines again with a ".adult" mindset. (and don't forget to take "l" out of clock.)


edit on 26-4-2017 by ketsuko because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 10:54 PM
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a reply to: berenike

I had the same problem when I was looking for a quiet rooster that wouldn't squawk every morning.



posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 11:41 PM
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a reply to: berenike
Remember to always, always, be sure of your spelling.




posted on Apr, 27 2017 @ 01:33 AM
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You lot never disappoint



posted on May, 5 2017 @ 12:38 PM
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a reply to: berenike

I don't think my browser history is working right, when I type quiet clocks all I get is quiet clocks...ahhh good thing this site is anonymous.



posted on May, 5 2017 @ 03:00 PM
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a reply to: Wreckclues

I've had my quiet clock for several days now. Bloody thing's a little marvel


I think Amazon must have a mucky mind.

Unless... what sort of thing were you hoping to find when you typed in quiet clocks? Suspicious minds want to know.



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