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Dear Death

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posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:13 PM
Dear Death 3 times last week you gave me a heart attack and had a dam good try to get little old Stoner on to your team but you need to try a lot,lot harder as i am made of sterner stuff than you thought .

I was very suprised by my don't give a hoot attitude to having 3 heart attacks in less than 7 days and being carted into hospital on 2 of those occasions with major heart attacks , The first one i had on Sunday the 16th i never phoned in as i thought it was a bad case of heartburn but as i went to sleep it did not feel right as my mouth went numb but i managed to drift off to sleep , the next one on the Monday night 17th was pain-full but not that bad i thought until the ambulance medic visited me in my hospital room and told me they had near lost me in the ambulance while stabilising me .

I know how a pin cushion feels now , the worst part was watching a surgeon insert tubes up my right arm to clean out my artery but i did not need a stent inserted as i had only 15-20 % narrowing and they only use it for cases where 60+% has narrowed .

Got out of hospital on Wed AFTERNOON and was back in hospital Thursday night again and while watching television on the friday morning realised just how lucky i have been when the news was about a English football/soccer player now a coach who had died aged 44 and had instant medical help at hand with his heart attack , while i had to wait 20 minutes for a ambulance to arrive .

I am a 50 year old heavy smoker, excercise as little as possible these days due to sciatica and i lived through 3 while the younger super fit man never lived through 1
must be the luck of the draw or something .

The only thing i have given up is Cannabis smoking so i might need a new user name now and i have cut my rolling cigs by half since my release from hospital on saturday .

But my general lack of interest in nearly dying bothers me not

Anyone else feel the same after having a similar thing happen to them , And if you changed any part of your life in the process .

But dear death , not today
edit on 25/4/2017 by stonerwilliam because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:22 PM
Eat some fish oil. Get on Medifast immediately:

I had heart attack on 2011. I feel great now.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:26 PM
a reply to: dfnj2015

I do try and eat healthy food lots of fruit and vegetables ,fish but very little red meat

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:26 PM
You are tough and lucky. Best wishes to your healing.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:28 PM
I went to the ER twice this winter. The last time was in late February as I was having trouble breathing again. Well, I discovered my problem was much more than that. I was having a heart attack. My heart was only working at 10% capacity. A I'm fat and don't exercise I wasn't too surprised. Now I'm on a bout a dozen meds and watching what I eat and exercising when I get around to it.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:35 PM
a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

I have 8 tablets at the moment to take every morning which i hate doing ,but needs must .

I did notice in the last year that i was not able to walk far due to pains in my leg muscles but this was the blood clot hopefully when it stops snowing where i am in the uk i will go for a decent walk to try them out

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:39 PM
a reply to: stonerwilliam

Best wishes in your getting around. The meds that I'm taking have helped out a great deal as I'm not longer out of breath when doing the simplest of taske.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:45 PM
a reply to: stonerwilliam

Glad you're still here!

One, go back to MJ and quit 'grettes!

Try vaping with no solder joints if you want nicotine. MJ is better for you in the long run anyway! Cigs kill.

Two... lay off hard liquor (if you do imbibe). The two together are typically paired behaviors. Very hard to unlearn. You have a nip and want a smoke. It is all psychological! Break that habit and you'll be fine!

Happy you're with us still!!

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:47 PM
a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

I am a little more tired than usual since i got out of hospital but the thing that bothers me is how little this scared me of death , it was more like having a cold for a few days .

Did you do anything on a bucket list or change anything in your life

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:52 PM
a reply to: stonerwilliam

The only things I've changed in my life so far is exercise and diet. I sure do miss salt and caffeine. No bucket list for me yet. Don't have the money right now to make it happen anyway. Do you have a bucket list now?

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:54 PM


I quit drinking 6 months ago for good and do not miss it one bit , but the m/j has to go as it makes my Dementia worse when i am on it , my two favourite words are aaaaa & mmmm when i was having a smoke .

I will just need to get high on life now

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:57 PM
a reply to: LookingForABetterLife

I am in the same boat financially as you at the moment , no bucket list for me just hoping i see the year out and i might speak to my father as i have blanked him for the best part of two decades

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 08:59 PM
a reply to: stonerwilliam

Now is the best time to talk to your father as you never known what tomorrow holds for any of us.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 09:25 PM
Get better soon as we are not ready to let you go.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 09:34 PM
One lucky MF.

Take it as a sign to change something in your life.

I am 52 , drink beer and smoke clove cigars like they are going out of style.

The main thing I quit years ago was diet coke and hard liqueur.

Think what saved me was a change in lifestyle. Got a rid of the old wife and got a new one. More love and sex.

Hikes every weekend and less stress, minus the court crap with the ex.

Good luck, and remember, life is short enjoy it but try to keep it going for as long as you can.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 09:38 PM
a reply to: Groot

Good words to go by my friend.

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 09:40 PM
a reply to: stonerwilliam

Don't smoke. And no alcohol!

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 10:04 PM
a reply to: stonerwilliam

Switch your smoking product around. Quit the cigs pick up the joint. Congrats on making it through a tough week!

Didn't see the dementia part. Just quit smoking

edit on 4/25/2017 by Kali74 because: (no reason given)

posted on Apr, 25 2017 @ 11:55 PM
I love your attitude. Am searching for a better one.

Had a stroke 1 1/2 years ago and a heart attack a year ago. Probably from diabetes which has caused havoc in my life.

Still struggling with lots of sudden diabetic junk. Struggling as well to be positive. I'm 62 and still my children have not married or had children-and I need some grandchildren!

I'm extremely boring-don't smoke or drink or do anything fun-so maybe it's time to throw caution to the wind and just go for it and let the future write itself.

Really glad I read your op-best wishes for a brighter future.

posted on Apr, 26 2017 @ 12:47 AM

originally posted by: stonerwilliam
Dear Death 3 times last week you gave me a heart attack...

(T)Here is one moment, already existing, in which you exhale for the final time; there is not anything that can ever be done to put that moment off, or to hasten it or to alter it in any way, ever!
Reality is that it is.
All we can do until that moment finally arrives, is to 'live'.
Smoking the tobacco as you do makes it obvious that you don't care about living, so it stands to reason that 'death' wouldn't bother you.
Unless having to share this with the world indicates 'overcompensation' for something, or some other psychological game, 'denial', perhaps? Perhaps you really do 'care'?
Either way, caring or not doesn't make a whit of difference in the long run.
If you are conditional, live a conditional life, then 'death' is the natural conditional end.

You don't mention whether or not you come from a disgusting long lived family, or not...

But, you wouldn't want to know when you are going to die, would you? *__-

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